Rating: 
Summary: As an adoptee and a mother
Review: I found this book to be an amazingly accurate representation of my life experience. I am a happy adoptee. I had everything I wanted or needed. I had all the love in the world. That's all a baby needs, right? I came into my parents home at 13 days old. But, the pain of separation from my first mother has never left me. What can a little baby know? I know I lost her and even though it was an open arrangement, I still felt a certain abandonment. It's so true. The pain of losing my natural mother is still with me today. I feel very fortunate to have found this book and to know that I am not alone. Everything I have felt for years is now in black and white. That provides me with a lot of comfort. Thank you, Nancy Verrier.
Rating: 
Summary: A Biased Viewpoint Throughout
Review: I found this book to be completely offending. As an adoptive mom, I am aware of the issues that my children face as they deal with the loss that is a part of adoption. As the same time, I believe Ms. Verrier is leaving out the beauty and wonder that is adoption and how much being adoption does not encompass EVERY part of life. She leaves adoptees with a "victim" status throughout life with no sense of hope through either end of the adoption triad. Many adoptees will be brought down and discouraged by reading this book.
Rating:
Summary: Extremely Negative Toward Successful Adoption
Review: I found this book to be extremely negative about the possibility of successful adoption. It is written as a thesis and overlooks so many other important elements of adoption. I would especially not reccomend this book if you are considering adoption of an infant.
Rating:
Summary: The Primal Wound
Review: I found this book to be very enlightening and would recommend it to all members of the triad - especially to adoptive parents and adoptees as it really offers a perspective that is seldom offered in other books on the subject of adoption. I am an adoptee who saw a great deal of myself and my adoptive brother described in the pages of that book. My birthmother and adoptive mother also found the book impactful. Too many books on adoption seem to me to be little more than psychodramas around reunions, or do not address what it must be like for a baby to be removed from the only world it knows, thrust into a new world where NOTHING familiar remains, and not able to process what is happening. I've seen this book both praised and criticized from those in adoption circles (newsgroups and the like). This "chosen baby" thanks Nancy Verrier for writing it and wishes she had written it years ago.
Rating:
Summary: A Mirror To My Adopted Self
Review: I have read many books on adoption. This is my favorite. Upfront, smart, insightful work. I admire this book for not being afraid of the criticism it may receive for being too acurate, too honest, too exposing of our society's slow pulling up of it's socks with regards to acknowledging adoption as a period of trauma for the infant and not simply a time of celebration for infertile couples wanting children. It felt as though Verrier took the hand of my young adopted self and walked me through my entire life. My copy is severely highlighted with "yes", "yes" written at least once in each margin. If that weren't enough, Verrier then guides us through the search and reunion process, which was the area I had been looking for help with. It seemed as though she had witnessed the intricacies of my own reunion process...for there it was spelled out on the page. The book also provides some great insight into the delicacies of the triad relationships (adoptee/birth parents/adoptive parents) during the reunion process, suggesting ways to move toward solid relationships. Finally, Verrier offers the adoptee real usable tools for mourning his/her deep loss so that he/she can slowly remove adoption related roadblocks in his/her adult life. To the non-adopted eye, the book may seem repetitive in places, but this book was built for the adoptee. The repetition is reassuring and appropriate. If Verrier hadn't so accurately described my experience as an adoptee: my difficulty with my own birthday parties, my inability to react to the news of my grandmother's death, my terror of being separated from my adoptive mother on the first day of nursury school and my inexplicable deep childhood sadness(to name a few), I may not have believed that she knew what she was talking about. It's all there. See for yourself. This book is a friend; the boyscout handbook for the adopted. To anyone adopted: I recommend keeping a copy in your back pocket. Thank you Nancy Newton Verrier. We have been waiting for this.
Rating:
Summary: I couldn't relate to it at all...
Review: I hesitate to speak negatively about this book because obviously there are people out there for whom it would be helpful. But as an adoptee myself, there was absolutely nothing in this book that I related to. I never felt wounded or rejected because I was adopted, and after reading and talking with women who have placed children for adoption, I can only say that I look on it as a an act made for the benefit of their babies and for the loving parents out there who cannot biologically have children. I would not recommend this book to adult adoptees who feel that they are well-adjusted and come from a position where they realize both the challenges and the joys of adoption. Sad to say, I saw much of this book as people 'blaming' their personal problems on having been adopted.
Rating:
Summary: Yep I can and do relate
Review: I purchased this book during a very emotional time of my life which included seeking out my birth mother. I am ADD and normally read a book about three pages then fall asleep. This book, however, had me nodding my head, saying yes and feeling validated for those things I had felt through most of my life and finished within 24 hours. Verrier has a good thought on this whole adoption thing. For those of us that were adopted during the dark ages of secrecy and the idea that adoption should be kept secret, this is a good book for those of us with conflicting feelings. While this may not apply to all adoptees, and it certainly doesn't, it does ring true for many of us left with many unanswered questions as to why we are the way we are, who we are and why we may act out in ways our adoptive siblings and parents don't. In all it's a good book to consider for the adoptee seeking answers, the adoptive parent who may need some insight, the sibling not connecting with their adoptive brother/sister, the spouse of an adoptee, etc.... Again, it doesn't fit everyone, no book like this does but for many of us this book explains a lot to our mental outlook. I don't think in life you can find any book that really can put people (whatever the classification) into one-size-fits all but this book fit me to a "T". Others may or may not be able to relate but worth the read if you are a member of the adoption tirad.
Rating:
Summary: Finally, validation for all of us adoptees!!
Review: I read Primal Wound about four years ago and my life was never the same after that. Nancy gave me the courage to write my own story. In fact, Nancy even said, "finally adoptees are writing their own stories!" after reading my book "Whose Child?". Thank you Nancy. Kasey Hamner, Author of "Whose Child?"An Adoptee's Healing Journey from Relinquishment through Reunion and Beyond"
Rating: 
Summary: Good for some people
Review: I read this book in a matter of hours (which is not usual for me). I really found a lot of insight in this book to the feelings of many adoptees. I was adopted 30 years ago and I have been having some recent issues with depression. I have seeked help from a counselor who is working through some issues with my feelsing about my adoption. I found this book from some references on some adoption websites and chose to read it. Many of the issues that Ms. Varner discusses did not directly pertain to any feelings I had felt as a child nor do I feel now. I do agree with the "Primal Wound" theory, but I thought that the book was specificly geared towards a child acting out. I had a happy home life and have just recent began to have adverse feelings. I felt that the book was great, but was too specific to Ms. Varner's child and not to the general theory of the "Primal Wound".
Rating:
Summary: Does not adequately describe feelings of reunions
Review: I was actually shocked at the writings in this book. Having just been thru a reunion with my birthmother after 33 years, I was hoping that the book would describe some of the feelings (the highs and lows) of this experience. Instead it details incestuous feelings between siblings and birthparent/child. Details which disgusted me (and I wondered why it needed mentioning at all). As an adoptee, I would not recommend this book to someone intending or in the process of a reunion. It totally turned me off.
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