Rating: 
Summary: An amazing work -- heartfelt thanx to Dr. Lawson
Review: As the daughter of a borderline mother (one who tends most towards Lawson's category of the 'borderline witch'), this book has revolutionized my understanding of what was/is wrong in my mother-daughter "relationship" (presently in the role of the 'no good' child, she has not seen me in 5 yrs, not spoken to me in 2-&-1/2). This book is very easy to read (in terms of understandability), while being (at least for me, as a child of a borderline mother) a hard read emotionally. However, Dr. Lawson's compassion towards such children permeates each page -- her obvious care and concern kept me reading through the more personally difficult passages.
Rating:
Summary: This book changed my life
Review: As the daughter of a borderline mother, I have spent the last 46 years struggling to understand why our relationship was so contentious, why I was always the 'bad' child and why I never felt comfortable expressing my own feelings to her. The book was given to me by a friend after my mother, a diabetic, self-induced a coma when I wanted to have Christmas dinner at my house rather than hers. Page after page was filled with experiences of other BPD children that were strikingly similar to my own-there were more than a dozen "Oh my God-that's her!" moments. This book brought everything into crystal clear focus and enabled me to deal fairly and lovingly with my mother-and help to keep me from using those same cruel weapons on my daughter. This book is a life saver!
Rating:
Summary: Aided me in understanding my former partner
Review: Dr Lawson clearly and unjudgementally outlines the devastating effects of this most unpleasant disease on both those who suffer from it and those involved in their lives. For those who either choose/cannot disengage from a mother with this disorder I would say this is a MUST read.
Rating:
Summary: An extraordinary find for children of Borderline mothers
Review: First of all, I was impressed that all 18 of the previous reviews gave this book 5 stars. This book is the only one I've ever seen that specifically addresses the unique challenges and frustrations faced by children raised by mothers with Borderline Personality Disorder, and it couldn't have been any higher quality. It is truly an outstanding book. The author provides information that is well organized, highly comprehensive, practical, and useful. I am so grateful that this book was written, because as I can attest, children raised by Borderline mothers are in desperate need of support and understanding. They grow up in a world that is contradictory and emotionally confusing. The following thoughts are common among children with borderline mothers:
1. "I never know what to expect."
2. "I don't trust her."
3. "She says it didn't happen."
4. "She makes me feel terrible."
5. "Everyone else thinks she's great."
6. "It's all or nothing."
7. "She's so negative."
8. "She flips out."
9. "Sometimes I can't stand her."
10. "She drives me crazy." Christine Lawson, PhD explains the origins of BPD, why it is so difficult to treat, and presents 4 distinct profiles of Borderline mothers. She explores these profiles in terms of their dysfunctional patterns and the experiences of the child of that type of mother. She also explores the types of men who marry each of the 4 types of women, and why they often are unable to validate the child's experiences. She thoroughly covers the topic of "splitting," and how/why the Borderline mother considers her child either "all good" or "no good." The last third of the book explores what children of these mothers can do in order to cope with this incurable disorder, particularly methods for setting limits on a Borderline mother's inappropriate behaviors. The parts on setting limits are the best I have ever come across in this type of book. She encourages the child to try to maintain a healthy relationship, but not at the expense of the child's emotional well-being, stating that: "Sometimes adult children feel so frustrated or endangered in the presence of their [Borderline] mothers that they choose not to have contact at all. No one has the right to pass judgment on such situations. Every human being has the right to protect his or her own life. In some cases, it is in the best interest of both mother and child to disengage completely." The response I had while reading this book was "Hallelujah!" P.S.---In addition to this book, I highly recommend the book, "Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You" by Susan Forward, PhD. While not specifically about BPD, it contains an excellent chapter called "The inner world of the blackmailer" which does a remarkable job describing how people who are emotionally manipulative (like BPD mothers) have usually experienced feelings of great deprivation and insecurity in their childhoods, and how their history produces their current behaviors. It explains why they don't connect their behavior to the negative consequences in their relationships, and why they don't learn from their mistakes. It also offers good suggestions for steps you can take to reduce the impact of this behavior when you are the target.
Rating: 
Summary: Lends valuable insight to children of Borderline mothers.
Review: For years I suffered from traumatic flashbacks of horrible scenes from my childhood. After an "episode", my mother would blame me and convince me that I was the problem. It never occurred to me as a child that what she was doing was inappropriate, though I noticed that friends did not fear their parents the way I did.
In raising my own children, I was determined to make sure they were loved unconditionally and completely. It was only in retrospect that I could see that my upbringing was marred by a totally unstable environment.
From chapter one of this book, I could see that my experience was not entirely unique. I could underline entire sections that read as if they came from my private journal. It was comforting to finally be able to put a name to the malady that caused so much trauma for so many years.
Christina Lawson has done a good job outlining the various manifestations of Borderline Personality Disorder, however, in defining the characteristic behaviors, she scarcely mentions how the person with BPD can exhibit any one of these, or a combination of all of them. In my experience, my mother could be waif-like with friends and neighbors, queen-like with my brothers and certain relatives, and witch-like with only me. It was hellish watching her, and I became adept at sensing the subtle behaviors that signified a coming change.
I would recommend this book to others who were victims of this kind of parent. It really helps to know that you are not alone in the struggle and subsequent pain in dealing with leftover emotional issues.
Rating:
Summary: Read This Book
Review: Having been discarded by my mother yet again, I was one year into a depression that I didn't really see a way out of. This book made it all make sense. My mother (a borderline), my sister (the all-good one), me (the no-good one). Now I can begin to stop mourning the loss of something I never really had. If you are having trouble making sense of your life and you think there may be borderline personality disorder involved - read this book.
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Summary: excelent !! its a pity i didnt saw it before years
Review: Hey !
this book is great !
if you have a mother that doesnt accept "no",that ruin your privacy,that had a need to tell you what to do too much,that is WEIRd ,that you feel uncomfortable with her ,
buy this book...[!]
i liked it very much,
now finally i say to her "no"
i no longer permit her to "ssteal" my privacy ,boundaries ,etc....
Rating:
Summary: FANTASTIC - cannot recommend it highly enough
Review: I found this book ***IMMENSELY*** helpful, especially the waif/hermit/queen/witch model. As the child of a borderline mother, this book was also more applicable to my issues than "Stop Walking on Eggshells" (which is an excellent but more general resource for those close to people with BPD).
Every few pages, I'd run across a simple observation that would literally stop me in my tracks because it described my family so accurately. The book also reassured me that there really was something going on with my mom -- the number of things that coincided was downright eerie -- and that my feelings about it all were totally reasonable.
Reading "Understanding the Borderline Mother" felt like watching a terribly gory horror movie with an intensely compelling plot: it was emotionally challenging and exhausting, but I couldn't put it down (finished it in about 2 days).
Rating:
Summary: Even if you're uncertain...
Review: I purchased and started reading this book because I was not certain if my mom has BPD. What followed was in often times graphic, accurate, and frightening detail of what life was like for me growing up. If it seems that something is or was different with your relationship with your mom than it was for your friends, buy this book. It is a deep read; one that will take emotional effort but ultimately one that has provided me unbelievable reward. Heartfelt thanks to Dr Lawson. You have my undying gratitude.
Rating:
Summary: Excellent resource on BPD
Review: I read this book from cover to cover in about a week! It was remarkable how much this book reminded me of my stepdaughter, her mother and my husband. WOW! Prior to reading this book, I'd read Stop Walking on Eggshells and I Hate You...Don't Leave Me. Both excellent books on BPD. This book gave me more insight on how this person's behavior effects the child.
I was watching a bit of Mommy Dearest on TV and it dawned on me -- that this woman portrayed in the movie acted and spoke as my stepdaughter's mother! Almost verbatim -- creepy. To my surprise, when this book came, there were quotes from Christina Crawford, herself!
I found the info very helpful for understanding my situation, however, I really wish there was something more about how to help children (boys and girls) cope NOW.
Perhaps there can be a sequel to this book!
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