Rating: 
Summary: If you buy it, you'll feel sorry for yourself
Review: I bought this book with a great deal of hope, and put it down saddened. Saddened that Dr. Van Aardweg, on every page, invalidates the homosexual's every action in life as immature and self-seeking, and then simpultaneously upbraids him for "self-pity" and tells him, basically, that his therapy will consist of mocking himself. Now, self-pity is indeed unhealthy, but if self-pity happens to be your problem, stay away from this book at all costs. It is destructive, emotionally abusive, and sadistic.They say that when all a guy has is a hammer, everything begins to look like a nail. Dr. Van Aardweg's "hammer" is the concept of self-pity. It is a reductionistic view; indeed, he anticipates this objection in the book and says, in effect, "just take my word for it, everything boils down to self-pity." But life, and this disorder, are more complicated than that. "Put on a happy face" is not going to make you a heterosexual. Astonishingly, Dr. Van Aardweg devotes precisely 1.75 pages at the very end of the book to the development of heterosexual feelings. That is all. Although I appreciate his honesty in recommending that a healthy gender identification, and a genuine erotic attraction to the opposite sex, precede any "dating," I think he should have given this topic more attention. But that would have detracted from his book-length rant on self-pity. I am a "heterosexist" homosexual. I know from experience that homosexuality is unhealthy in both its (predominantly environmental) causation and its expression. For those who agree and are interested in an approach that is truly human, I recommend _The Truth About Homosexuality: The Cry of the Faithful_, edited by Fr. John Harvey, and in particular the chapters by Fr. Keefe and Richard Fitzgibbons in that book.
Rating: 
Summary: Insightful but....
Review: I found Van Den Aardweg's book insightful because some of what he writes about mirrors my own adolescence. HOWEVER, I do have one problem. He never explains why "prehomosexual" girls have a preference for masculine toys to begin with (or boys choosing to play with dolls, etc,). He never gets to the core of the cause, perhaps because it would be biological in nature?
Rating: 
Summary: Worthless
Review: I have been sruggeling with feelings of homosexuality. i hoped this book could help me. i found out that this book is full of lack of understanding, stugle instead of acceptance and prejudice. There are other books witch are more intelligent and better on this subject. in my point of vieuw reading this book will make confict increase in stead of decrease. Although none of the books i read on this subject i found 100% good the book of nicolosi and of cohen have more depth and tacle underlying problems better. Because in my point of (after my struggle) there is nothing wrong with homosexulity. i might be the lack of heterosexuatity wich is causing a problem and the guilt about onself for having homosexual feelings (feelings of being less male) .
Rating: 
Summary: the hard truth
Review: I've read many, many so-called "self-help" books on homosexuality, and this is the first one that cut to the core of the issue. Van Den Aardweg's book was reviewed positively by NARTH, and rightfully so. Anyone who wants to escape the insidious power of homosexuality, and is ready to confront themselves honestly, should read this book.
Rating:
Summary: difficult, but worth it!
Review: If one is completely honest with oneself then he/she can see that Aardweg makes some incredibly true and valid points. I found it at times difficult to own up to some of them, but, on the other hand, refreshing to know that someone else out there sees many of the same problems of the struggle with homosexuality that I have found to be TRUE! It's a constant, frustrating yet rewarding battle, and if you're ready for the challenge then this is a book that will definitely help you (along with the grace of God)!
Rating:
Summary: very interesting book by the wrong author
Review: In '68 I read the book 'psychotherapy and genesis of the neurosis' from the Dutch psychiatrist J.L. Arndt (died in1968). It changed my life: it taught me how to become a more mature and warm person and to leave my traumatic youth behind. One of the side effects was that I became heterosexual which was not intended. I was active in the gay liberation in Amsterdam and I still welcome most of their issues. I would advise you: read this book, it has no own ideas but this man Van den Aardweg understands the theory of Arndt who by the way says in his books that homosexuality only is a neurosis in our culture and not by definition. But keep in mind: Van den Aardweg is an extreme right wing catholic, associated with Opus Dei and one of that kind of people who claim to be 'true believers'. He is mostly responsible for the fact that the Dutch psychiatrist Arndt didn't get the attention he deserved. Be glad to be gay, but be it in a mature way. This book can help you, and you will see that you also will have very strong heterosexual feelings like I experienced. The book is good, but the author is wrong. Maastricht, Holland.
Rating:
Summary: Truth or madness?
Review: In the sixties the Dutch psychiatrist J.L. Arnt was convinced that he had discovered the origin of neurosis. In a few books he claimed that every neurosis was the manifestation of a grieving child hidden within the adult. It was a very provocative statement, nearly every Dutch psychologist and psychiatrist believed that he was struck by madness. One of his few adherents was the psychologist Gerard van den Aardweg. Van den Aardweg wrote a dissertation at that time in which he tried to prove that homosexuality was (like Arndt said in his last posthumous book 'Onnodig lijden'(1967)a manifestation of a specific form of a grieving child hidden within the adult, a child who has suffered severely from feelings of inferiority and being an outsider among his peers. Interesting was that Van den Aardweg (a spokesman of the very small and very conservative minority within the catholic church in Holland) focused on homosexuality while in Arndts view many heterosexuals had in essence the same kind of neurosis. Out of curiosity I bought the books of Arndt and started a selftherapy to get rid of my 'negative' feelings. After four or five years in which I struggled with the painfull view that many of these negative feelings were the feelings of the grieving child I once was, I felt a lot better and more self-confident. I discovered that my personality as a neurotic was like Arndt said (and in contrary to the simplication of Van den Aardweg) a complex mix of mature and childish ('tragic') feelings. But I also knew that my problem never was that I was gay but that I was neurotic. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with homosexuality but everything is wrong with neurosis. Now something amazing happened to me. Being a man in his twenties I felt little by little attracted to women. It was very confusing to get really 'horny'(I don't know a more exact word to describe it) by girls. I never had any sexual feelings towards girls, but that changed completely. I felt very passionate feelings and enjoyed very much having sex and love with a woman. But now back to Van den Aardweg. In his book you'll have to search for the 'real thing' behind all of his religious prejudice. simplification, harshness and hostility against homosexuals. Nevertheless at this time this book is the only way for you to get acquainted with this theory. My advise: don't spoil your energy in trying to get rid of your homosexuality, but try to get rid of your feelings of inferiority, dissatisfaction, restlessness or of being an outsider. And when you've succeeded, you will also have strong heterosexual longings, but that will be a side effect and not really important.Important will be that you are much more caring, self-confident and happy, gay or heterosexual or bisexual or what ever. God bless you.
Rating:
Summary: An unscientifc and pretencious book that does no good !
Review: It seems that most critisism against homosexuality comes from the Christian corner of society. Therefore it is especially sad that someone who has a "Ph.D." in his title is hiding his true religious prejudice before a mask of science. There is no cure for it, because it is not a disorder - any Christian who personally knows gays or lesbians AND uses his brain to think about it recognizes that. Please don't buy this book ! It is a threat to young gay people who are still unsure about their own being homosexual. By the way: To be gay and to believe in God is no contradiction. I live with it very well and thousands of other gays too - just think of all the homosexual priests ! Jesus is fun, but love, too.
Rating:
Summary: Is it truth or work that will set you free?
Review: Many people reviewing this book which I've just finished reading have said that "the truth will set you free," a citation from the Bible. Considering that the book totally overlooks obvious facts or actively ignores/evades them: proponents of "conversion therapy" actively disuade studies measuring their success rates (if the truth will set you free, why hide it?)--could it be that the few studies that exist have found embarrassingly low success rates? The book also overlooks overwhelming evidence that sexual orientation is genetic or biological in origin. The book also doesn't distinguish between homosexual *behavior* and homosexual *orientation.* It is possible to be homosexual, for instance, but not to have ever engaged in homosexual behavior. Does the author want us to believe that people who have become celebate are "cured" of their homosexual behavior when in fact they have the same orientation--and have simply stopped engaging in sexual activity? Considering how much work is involved in "coming out" of homosexuality, I think that one might do well to be skeptical. Rather than the "truth" perhaps it is an incredible amount of "work" that will "set you free": and isn't it ironic that the Nazis, who persecuted homosexuals in a most un-Christian fashion, erected the words "Arbeit macht frei" (work will set you free) at the entrace of Dachau and other death camps. After having read this book, I think the only way you'll find yourself truly free will be to embrace your sexual orientation, whatever it may be, and work to be proud of it--and put people like van den Aardweg out of your life. This is a destructive book, evasive of facts and thus disingenuous.
Rating:
Summary: Practical
Review: So many books on homosexuality are bogged down in the religious, moral, and political battles over gay rights. Here is a practical book to help the many of us who find ourselves bound in a circle of sexual compulsion. We don't want an argument. We want practical help to lead chaste, hopeful lives. This book provides precisely that.
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