Rating: 
Summary: The secret is out: change is possible.
Review: A most welcome title to the growing selection of books aimed at those who wish to adopt a heterosexual orientation. For those who are truly "pro-choice" and free-speech advocates, they will not stand in the way of those who want to adopt a heterosexual orientation and speak about it without fear of reprisal from other groups who wish they'd go away.
Rating: 
Summary: Could have been more credible
Review: Admittely, I had to be "ready" to read this book. I mean to say, first I had to accept homosexual acts as wrong, and then I had to accept the possibility of change.
What I like about this book is that even though he doesn't pull any punches, he explains why he says these things. I have to admit that page by page, he was talking about me, both in my environmental circumstances and in my behavior. I could say, "Yes he's right on target!" If you are already thinking that there is nothing wrong with homosexuality, then this book is hardly for you. This is not a "gay affirming" book, but if you feel like, as I do, that there are other things in your life that you couldn't understand, then this book may help explain it. It's not an easy book to read, but I felt so much better after I read it. It makes a lot of sense. The man has had extensive work in the field, so he is hardly coming from left field in his observations.
Rating:
Summary: Killing me softly with his song!!
Review: Admittely, I had to be "ready" to read this book. I mean to say, first I had to accept homosexual acts as wrong, and then I had to accept the possibility of change.
What I like about this book is that even though he doesn't pull any punches, he explains why he says these things. I have to admit that page by page, he was talking about me, both in my environmental circumstances and in my behavior. I could say, "Yes he's right on target!" If you are already thinking that there is nothing wrong with homosexuality, then this book is hardly for you. This is not a "gay affirming" book, but if you feel like, as I do, that there are other things in your life that you couldn't understand, then this book may help explain it. It's not an easy book to read, but I felt so much better after I read it. It makes a lot of sense. The man has had extensive work in the field, so he is hardly coming from left field in his observations.
Rating:
Summary: Could have been more credible
Review: Author made some good points which makes a lot of sense to me. However, his credibility suffers by his refusal to see that homosexuality has multiple causes, some of which are non-environmental. There are some biological males who are "sissy" and female identified since very young, despite having concerned parents who tried to steer them towards normality. Are these outliers, perhaps ? I think not. Maybe he needs to broaden his sample beyond those seeking help. He puts homosexuality down to a form of neurosis ONLY, with symptoms of weaknesses, effeminacy, neediness, childishness etc.And oh yes, homos are seeking maleness in their partners to repair their deficits. What about the large numbers of homos who expressly seek out (not settle for) feminized guys ? Because they can't deal with manly guys ? C'mon ! What about straight identified men who enjoy gay sex ? In moments of weaknesses when their masculinity is under siege ? I know homosexual men and bisexuals who are as secure with their masculinity as any guys out there. All these people are conveniently ignored. I bought the book hoping for some guidance, mentally prepared for areas that I don't agree with. It would not have mattered if the author made clear at the outset that his theory only applies to a sub-group of gay men. I don't even mind his strident tone. I think a lot of guys (not just gays) need a good kick to their behinds. What bothers me is that he seems ignorant to the diversity among men with same sex attraction, and that these attractions have different causes. By insisting that there is a one-size fits-all solution to a one-size-fits-all condition, he is destroying his credibility. Which is a pity for everybody out there who is trying to work through their issues, and needs some tough-minded but sensible advice not coloured by obvious personal disdain. Perhaps the author needs to deal with his inner child here.
Rating:
Summary: Don't fall prey to this propaganda
Review: Don't fall prey to this propaganda like I did. If you read books like this and follow their advice, your life will be monstrously painful and in all likelihood you'll contemplate suicide more than you ever have. It's easy, isn't it, to want to be "normal," i.e. to be straight. But if you're gay, you just can't be. You'll be happier in the long run to stay clear of this kind of garbage--take it from the voice of experience. Other people who reviewed this book have noted "Outing Yourself" as a good resource--buy that book and start there, instead. There is no reason why you can't have a fulfilling, meaningful life as an out gay person--and religion can be a part of that, too, if need be. But don't waste your time searching for something that can never be: You're gay; be proud!
Rating: 
Summary: Self "therapy" or flagellation??
Review: Dr. Aardweg presents many compelling arguments for the (nongenetic) development of homosexuality and attempts to give steps for one to get out of it. However, I detected a very strong undercurrent of hatred. The author regularly refers to homosexuals as infantile, self-pitying, egocentric, narcissistic, pathetic creatures, to name just a few of the adjectives he loves to throw around. There was hardly a negative personality trait or emotional illness that he did not attribute to homosexuals! While he does stumble on some truths, when it comes to therapy, the manner in which they are presented completely negates any good that could come from them--homosexuals have had to battle rejection from day one, they certainly shouldn't have to tolerate from their own "Guide for Self-Therapy"! I would suggest to homosexuals looking for therapy to look elsewhere (check for the booklists on some of the recovery groups on the internet). Having bought this book, I will keep it for Dr. Aardweg's dry dissertation of studies on the possible causes of this condition, but that is the only reason!
Rating:
Summary: Simplistic and confident approach.
Review: Dr. Van den Aardweg approaches the topic of homosexuality and seems to have an answer for all the questions about the topic. While I don't agree with all of his philosophies on the disorder (and yes, it IS a disorder--I speak from experience)--he makes a very clear and unargumentative statement about the core motives of homosexuality: the homosexual person, deep down, desires his gender identity. Dr. Van den Aardweg's therapeutic methods are sort of that of a football coach. If you want to change, this is what you do, and you have to bust your butt to do it! With this, however, he shows that compassion and love to the person, APART from the problem, is the key. An excellent read for anyone who is remotely interested in the topic, the subject matter is clear and easy to understand.
Rating:
Summary: A ray of hope!
Review: Finally, words of truth. After having the secular world insist that I should be "happy" and "free" about homosexual inclinations regardless of the reservations I felt, it was truly liberating to hear true, helpful, well researched, and practical advice on how to deal with these feelings. This book would be great not only for the person who feels such inclinations, but also for those who minister to that person, especially including young persons.
Rating:
Summary: Bad science.Wrong underlying anthropological presuppositions
Review: Gerard Van den Aardweg is well known as one of the few and last psichologist who still supports the idea that homosexual orientation is in itself pathological. At misleading works like this, one must remember a few simple facts: 1)In 1973 -28 years ago!- the APA retired homosexuality from the list of mental illnesses. 2) there are DOZENS of studies that prove that there's no more connection between homosexuality and psychopathology than in the case of heterosexuality -for a good review on this, see J.Gonsiorek: "Homosexuality, research implications for public policy"- 3)there are many healthy happy homosexuals... and many unhealthy unhappy heterosexuals. Nevertheless, it seems that books like this do have an appeal. One reads them and says to oneself: "hey, that happened to me!". That's why I think we must look at the possible reasons for this fact. We could find many, but I will just indicate two: 1.- He selects common bad experiences from childhood, relates them directly to homosexuality, and implies that these bad experiences are exclusive of homosexuality, three things must be said about this: a)these experiences are extremely common, and we could find them also in heterosexual people (how many of us, gay and straight, complain that our mother was too present. In a world where traditionally the mother spends more time with her offspring, it is not at all surprising). b) it`s a well-known fact that we are uncounciously influenced by current points of view when remembering our childhood. In a world in which we have been repeatedly told the classical theory about the origin of homosexuality, who can be surprised at this theory distorting our reminiscences in such a way that they conform to the theory? c) Even if there were some truth in this theory, Van den Aardweg silences the fact that heterosexuals may have different conflicts within the family. These conflicts are also conflictive (sorry for the repetition), what makes them "better" to the "homosexual conflicts". 2)More important: Van den Aardweg takes for granted that heterosexuality is better than homosexuality. Well, one may object: if (as he hasn't recognized) both heterosexuals and homosexuals come from a childhood in which they have had to cope with conflicts, if all our personality traits come from resolving conflicts (this is the touchstone of psychoanalysis), Why then, is the "heterosexual solution" of the conflict better than the "homosexual" one?. I dare to state this: both "solutions" to the conflict have the same potential to help have a happy or unhappy life. The problem, then, lies in an anthropological presupposition that states that the height of human sexuality is the man-woman couple. This presupposition is philosophical, and deserves philosophical critic. I won't do this, just I'll say that I have good reasons for saying that the height of human sexuality is to love and be loved, whatever the genders of the people involved. Some gays have said here they had found grief in their lives. We all have unhealed wounds, this is common to all human beings, this is not exclusive for gays. And I insist: we can be happy, healthy and gay.
Rating:
Summary: Bad science.Wrong underlying anthropological presuppositions
Review: Gerard Van den Aardweg is well known as one of the few and last psichologist who still supports the idea that homosexual orientation is in itself pathological. At misleading works like this, one must remember a few simple facts: 1)In 1973 -28 years ago!- the APA retired homosexuality from the list of mental illnesses. 2) there are DOZENS of studies that prove that there's no more connection between homosexuality and psychopathology than in the case of heterosexuality -for a good review on this, see J.Gonsiorek: "Homosexuality, research implications for public policy"- 3)there are many healthy happy homosexuals... and many unhealthy unhappy heterosexuals. Nevertheless, it seems that books like this do have an appeal. One reads them and says to oneself: "hey, that happened to me!". That's why I think we must look at the possible reasons for this fact. We could find many, but I will just indicate two: 1.- He selects common bad experiences from childhood, relates them directly to homosexuality, and implies that these bad experiences are exclusive of homosexuality, three things must be said about this: a)these experiences are extremely common, and we could find them also in heterosexual people (how many of us, gay and straight, complain that our mother was too present. In a world where traditionally the mother spends more time with her offspring, it is not at all surprising). b) it`s a well-known fact that we are uncounciously influenced by current points of view when remembering our childhood. In a world in which we have been repeatedly told the classical theory about the origin of homosexuality, who can be surprised at this theory distorting our reminiscences in such a way that they conform to the theory? c) Even if there were some truth in this theory, Van den Aardweg silences the fact that heterosexuals may have different conflicts within the family. These conflicts are also conflictive (sorry for the repetition), what makes them "better" to the "homosexual conflicts". 2)More important: Van den Aardweg takes for granted that heterosexuality is better than homosexuality. Well, one may object: if (as he hasn't recognized) both heterosexuals and homosexuals come from a childhood in which they have had to cope with conflicts, if all our personality traits come from resolving conflicts (this is the touchstone of psychoanalysis), Why then, is the "heterosexual solution" of the conflict better than the "homosexual" one?. I dare to state this: both "solutions" to the conflict have the same potential to help have a happy or unhappy life. The problem, then, lies in an anthropological presupposition that states that the height of human sexuality is the man-woman couple. This presupposition is philosophical, and deserves philosophical critic. I won't do this, just I'll say that I have good reasons for saying that the height of human sexuality is to love and be loved, whatever the genders of the people involved. Some gays have said here they had found grief in their lives. We all have unhealed wounds, this is common to all human beings, this is not exclusive for gays. And I insist: we can be happy, healthy and gay.
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