Rating: Summary: A True Classic for Personal Transformation Review: I have read and reread the Kanes' book now and each time I am discovering that life can be lived in the moment-to-moment way on a day-in day-out basis. My life has improved on all levels. My productivity and satisfaction at work has increased dramatically and my relationships are much more enriching and fun. A sense of well being and balance exists for me that I never thought possible before.In reading the chapter titled "How Can I Be Sure," many questions came to mind that I had been asking myself for a very long time. In reading further on, many of those same questions were answered, miraculously, without working on them! While reading this book, I find myself saying aloud "Oh yeah, right, I see that," and instead of judging what I see, either good or bad in my mind, I gain a true vision of how I live my life. The Kanes' book is an empowering guide for me to be my true authentic self, to live a life of my own design. I recommend this book whole-heartedly for anyone interested in writing their own exciting life's adventure.
Rating: Summary: Waste of time Self Improvement book Review: After reading reviews on this book I was expecting great things, and was sadly disappointed. The basic idea upon which they are teaching is that you don't have to do anything. Just do nothing and it will work out! And they have a trademark on this doing nothing and called it Instanteous Transformation. But how can teach and own the idea of doing nothing! In one of their lectures they talk about how there expensive lectures in Bali are justifed, as some people have grown in the effort to save to pay for them! Maybe thats the answer for me, take on a second or third job, to pay for expensive self improvement courses. Maybe I missed something between the words, or are not ready for their message, but for now I gained a lot of what they are talking in the book, that being Nothing!
Rating: Summary: Great Read! Review: The book "Working on Yourself Doesn't Work" by Ariel & Shya Kane is a great book to read. It is easy, fun, and insightful. I noticed myself smiling many times while reading the book. Once I picked up the book I couldn't put it down. The chapter I enjoyed most was about forgiveness. I laughed at myself thinking of all the times I have held a grudge and the other party involved didn't even remember the incident. It had never occurred to me that I didn't have to do this. With all the turmoil going on in the world today, reading this book was like taking a mini vacation!! Another book I really enjoyed reading was "How to Win Friends & Influence People." I highly recommend both of these life inspiring books!
Rating: Summary: Great Source for Well Being and Happiness Review: I saw this book recommended in another Amazon review and am so glad I bought. I have passed this book on to neighbors, co-workers and family members and many of them have come back telling me of how much they enjoyed reading it and what a profound effect it has had on their lives. What I like most about this simple yet powerful little book is that the Kanes present a way of being that enables anyone to live an enlightened life. Their techniques are truly not oriented in working on any perceived "problems." That being said many challenging situations do arise in everyone's life, but through the Kanes suggested way of being-these situations do not have to have a debilitating long-term effect on your life. Through awareness of how things are you can remain centered and have well being even in the most difficult situations. As a wife of a NYC fire captain, my husband and I have had some very sad moments this past year. But we found overall through out this past year we have maintained a sense of well being, happiness and have true love for each other. The Kanes' book and work is a great support for us. You don't need a life-altering experience to have personal transformation in your own life, all you could do is simply read the Kanes' book. I highly recommend "Working On Yourself Doesn¹t Work" by Ariel and Shya Kane.
Rating: Summary: A Bold and Compassionate Guide to REALLY Living Review: The title of this book, "Working on Yourself Doesn't Work" really says it all. I've tried so many things in my life like TRYING to quiet my mind, TRYING to get away from upset and uncomfortable feelings. I tried diets that I thought might make me more "spiritual" and adopted belief systems to try to fix what I perceived as wrong with me. Nothing worked. After reading this simple little masterpiece by Ariel and Shya Kane, I see why. Because working on yourself, which they define in the book as being hard on yourself or coming from the point of view that there is something wrong with you that needs fixing, just doesn't work. When I think of all the things I've done to "work" on myself (by the Kanes' definition) I'm quite embarrassed and yet pleasantly relieved. I don't need to do that anymore! What they write in this book rings true, not just as a concept, but as that wonderful and yet unprovable state of being where you just know what is true. I've been looking for this all my life. I comb through Amazon looking for books that may have the secrets. I actually almost skipped this book because I saw reviews that made negative comments about it. Yet, something caught me, in both the positive and negative reviews - this book is generating a powerful dialogue. The Kanes ask us to look at our beliefs and at how we know what we know. With sweet and friendly encouragement, they set out basic principles of life that they've noticed so that the reader can begin the awesome and rewarding challenge of experiencing magnificence where there once was mediocrity. I also appreciate their pointing out that while what they have to say shares ideas with Zen and the like, the benefit for the reader lies in their own personal practice of awareness. The 3 principles of transformation that the Kanes flesh out are modern-day guides to living the life we dream of. They are not how-to's. Thank goodness - it would be quite a tragedy for a book like this to give out tips and tricks on how to "work" on oneself. The book is filled with heartfelt stories and anecdotes that touch and entertain, and allowed me to rediscover a centeredness in my life. It is one of those rare books on modern-day enlightenment that allows you to feel how good it is to be alive, and how that aliveness has always been there, trapped under layers of "working on yourself." If you're ready to stop being serious and hard on yourself, don't miss this treasure.
Rating: Summary: This book will make a difference in your life Review: What if some people had to seek the truth of their lives for a long time, but we don't have to? What if you could, to paraphrase a famous quote "stand on the shoulders of giants" and learn from their seeking. What if they realized that the keys to a healthy, happy, successful existence were in front of them all along and it just took a while for them to realize it and the time it takes for us to realize that we don't have to work on ourselves is drastically shortened because of their experience? What if you could accept all this and actually feel good about yourself from a simple, fun, light read? I know it's possible - it happened to me and it has happened for many of my friends to whom I have recommended this book. I used to go to book stores and head straight for the self-help section. I read dozens of books on awareness, enlightenment, and spirituality, and some were very helpful. But what all the good ones had in common was a short-term calming effect, a feeling that everything was ok. Then, after a short while, the same old feelings of struggle, worry, stress, and self-recrimination would creep back in to my life. Eventually, I found "Working on Yourself Doesn't Work" and it was a completely different experience. While most of the other books I read felt esoteric and heavy, this book felt like reading an interesting article. There was a lightness to it, a simplicity that allowed it to sink in and take hold. I read it very quickly and the completeness of its amazing effect on me was not totally apparent, but I felt very good about my life right away. As a matter of fact, the first time I read it was during a night of insomnia where I only slept 1 hour. I can recall having lots of energy the next day and feeling like I had dumped lots of old garbage I believed about myself and my life. I felt very good about who I am. Even after just one read, the concepts in the book simply started happening in my life, without any effort on my part. I wasn't "doing" anything like practicing "mindfulness", I wasn't meditating, I wasn't doing affirmations. I was just living my life and I would start to notice my behaviors and my environment in a completely new way, without judgment. My relationships with people improved as I started to discover who I was instead of being angry with my automatic behaviors. I started making more money and got promoted at my job because I was operating with more personal responsibility and working in partnership with my co-workers. There was a lot less stress and worry in my life. The extraordinary value, however, came over the course of time. Every time I reread this book, it strengthens who I am, I reconnect with a feeling of being centered in my life and most importantly, it lasts. A willingness to look at my life and how I operate has become instinctive. As a result, I feel more present, more complete and more self-assured than I ever have before in my life.
Rating: Summary: beginner's stuff Review: If you have any previous experience with meditation and mindfulness practices, this material is pretty much rank beginner stuff. Great for people who haven't figured out that they are not their thoughts; if you've moved beyond that point, forget it. There is a widely circulated Tibetan technique for pain control, originally called "shinay" included in the book, but it's not that big of a deal - you can find that practice in lots of places.
Rating: Summary: Weak: Some good ideas, poorly written, much misinformation Review: While the authors offer some good ideas, they show an astounding lack of self-awareness with regard to their own development. They seem completely unaware of how they arrived at their present state of consciousness. Consequently they give advice that is inconsistent with their own experience, as revealed by their stories. Their stories demonstrate, if anything, the OPPOSITE of the book's title: Working on yourself sometimes works! For instance, on their first date together (the authors are a couple), she was injured and he had the "magical" insight to help her relieve the pain. He did this through guided visualization, concentrating on the "here and now" in a spirit of calm acceptance. Terrific, yes? Yes. This is a story they tell you about half way into the book. And yet, they start the book describing how they--together as a couple--spent years attending self-improvement workshops. Apparently, whatever insight they already had on their first date was not enough. It was unsound, or they could not apply it consistently, or something else was wrong. They felt unfulfilled. So they looked and looked, trying many different ways to become they people they wanted to be. Finally, they attended a workshop that was actually more of an extended retreat. It was six months long and involved meditating all day, every day. And what do you suppose happened? They came home and realized that they had arrived where they wanted to be. They were finally at peace, living happily in the here and now. But do they credit the intense meditation practice for this astounding transformation? No they don't. Nor do they state appreciation for their other workshop experiences, nor their instructors, nor the various other people that no doubt helped them in large or small ways over the years. Instead, they write a book that says none of that stuff helped. Is this credible? I don't think so. Don't get me wrong. The Kanes advise us to adopt some wonderful practices, such as forgiveness, acceptance, and awareness of the present moment. That's all great. The problem is, the Kanes just don't account very well for how they arrived at their current capacity to engage in these practices themselves--what it took for them to get where they are. Far from it. The advice provided is in fact quite vague, so that it could be wrong just as often as it is right. For example, they state a spiritual principle that 'whatever you resist persists,' but if you think for a moment about this principle it makes sense only in a very specific psychological context: Mentally denying facts and feelings puts a person in a difficult bind. No argument there. But surely there are many other negative things in life that persist only if you fail to resist them, and may go away if you do. Isn't that what civil disobedience is all about--a peaceful and productive way to resist wrong-headed public policies? Isn't every act of courage a form of resistance? Resistance is sometimes important, and good to do. Even psychologically speaking, certain thoughts should be actively resisted, or else they will persist to your detriment. (For instance, see the book Feeling Good, by David Burns, on ways to resist and thusly to improve on thoughts that otherwise would persist as feelings of depression.) Ultimately, the Kanes are poor writers. What's more, they are poorly informed in matters that are core to their topic. But when the Kanes try to document their ideas for readers to use outside of the workshop setting, they fall down badly. They present poor, sometimes erroneous explanations that may work for some people (who happen to "get" the intended message anyway) but poorly serve readers who will not untangle the good ideas from the considerable store of misinformation loaded into the book. One important set of errors lie in the Kanes' gross misrepresentation of psychology. This is ironic, since they themselves offer what is clearly psychological instruction. The authors evidently have a very narrow view of psychology based upon a limited range of therapeutic approaches focusing on the past and slow, incremental improvement. The Kanes are altogether ignorant of other therapeutic approaches that are more compatible with the Kanes' own outlook and sometimes produce "transformational" change. The Kanes are equally naive on the topic of anthropology, which they contrast against psychology in a vain attempt to make some point about the value of dispassionate observation. It was sad to read such a mish mash of poorly constructed ideas and examples. A good editor would have seen to it this part of the book was rewritten before publication. The Kanes definitely are at their best when telling personal stories. These stories are often interesting and sometimes even touching. But even here they struggle, as they try and then fail to draw meaning from their experiences in a cogent set of general principles. I give two stars to this book (rather than one) since it offers a few worthwhile insights, even if it is otherwise muddled, confused and weakly developed. I would suggest looking elsewhere if you want a book that offers sound, well considered advice on achieving presence in the moment, self-awareness, etc. You might try Debbie Ford or Deepak Chopra, for instance. You also might skip quickly past the Kanes' explicit advice and concentrate instead on following their implicit example, doing the one thing that evidently led them to enjoy greater peace of mind: daily meditation.
Rating: Summary: Transformational Conversations Review: Working On Yourself Doesn't Work; that's a great title isn't it? It got my attention. I have observed over and over again that it is awareness of the impact of my actions that creates change, and once the awareness is there, the change comes through me rather than from me. Once I became aware that smoking was killing my mother and wasn't giving me anything that I truly wanted, I just stopped doing something that I didn't want to do. Having recently read and enjoyed Loving What Is by Byron Katie, I was drawn here by a review of her book which recommended this one as well. Then when I saw a couple of sour reviews, I dismissed them as negativity from resigned and cynical people who couldn't believe in the possibility of transformation. I rushed right out and bought the book that very night, and read it in a couple of hours. The conversations in this book are great. If you haven't come across them before, I think you'll love this introduction to them. So, I have no quarrel with those who love this book. I did find that I had already come across pretty much every conversation/idea presented in this book before. It appears to me that the Kane's wrote a book containing some of the more powerful conversations from The Landmark Forum. (Landmark is the current iteration of est.) The resemblance is just uncanny. Not that those ideas or conversations are even unique to Landmark, but the grouping and presentation of them, seems to defy coincidence. For instance: * Transformation is the result of awareness, rather than an effort to fix or change. * Who I am is not a function of my past, but rather the future I'm living into. * Forgiveness as an access to completion and growth. * When you see it as it is, it will disappear. * How to dissappear physical pain by paying attention to it. * What happened in the past is what happened; the meaning of what happened is something we placed there. * What you resist persists. * The difference between choice and decision. * The idea of an inner voice which is always listening and commenting on our experience and thoughts. So, if you feel that you are already well versed in these conversations, you can pass on reading this book. I personally don't regret reading it, or having it to lend to others. If the topics listed above are new to you, by all means join us in these conversations... through this book... through other books... through Landmark... there's lots of roads that lead here. And being in these conversations is extraordinarily valuable. --Frank Boyd
Rating: Summary: so simple and yet so effective! Review: Only the three described principles reveal such a good! When I put my awareness to it I am fascinated how often they show up in daily life. They explain the mechanism, that keeps us away from living in the moment and they do it in such a way not to analyse but with humor to see what is. Through this I experienced a profound change, which without aiming for change, makes my life more valuable, more satisfied and richer, for example in relationship to friends, parents, my daughter and myself. This book is a true treasure!
|