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Summary: TEACHES YOU TO DISRESPECT YOURSELF!!!!!!WORST BOOK POSSIBLE
Review: THIS IS THE WORST BOOK A WOMAN COULD EVER BUY ON THE SUBJECT OF RELATIONSHIPS.THIS IS A BOOK FULL OF MULNIPULATION OF FIRST THE WOMAN THEN THE MAN.THIS BOOK IS VERY SIMILAR TO BLACK MAGIC AND CULT LIKE THINKING.IT BRAINWASHES YOU INTO THINKING YOU ARE EMPOWERED AND GETTING SOMEWHERE..WHEN IN ACTUALLY YOUR NOT EMPOWERED BECAUSE TRUE POWER COMES FROM BEING WHO YOU ARE!!!!! AND ATTRACTING THE RIGHT MAN FOR THE REAL YOU!!!!!IF YOU WANT TO BE SET FREE.BUY BARBARA DE ANGELIS.THE REAL RULES!THAT IS A MASTERPIECE.IT'S THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH.IN A PRECISE AND SIMPILIFIED WELL WRITTEN BOOK.
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Summary: Perspective of a 34 SWM Who Has Dated Several Women
Review: A few questions:#1: What person in their right mind would take the abuse of someone not returning their calls? If such a person kept chasing after such a person, doesn't that person have low self esteem, or, he believes in the scarcity of attractive women? Is that what Rules women want?; #2: If you're always ending calls first, no matter how well the conversation is going, aren't most guys beyond high school going to figure out what you're doing? Aren't most people going to feel you don't care about them if you're ending calls first ALL THE TIME?; #3: Why are we taking the advice of these people? One of the authors couldn't hold her man and got a divorce. Whether it's one fault or both, seems to me that the author isn't clear on what works and does not work. Likewise, I don't listen to journalists, who make less than 60k, yet give advice on the stock market to make money. Why would I get advice from people who produce far less results than I do? So, I ask why are you getting advice from someone whose own relationship does not produce the listed results?; and #4: There isn't enough here about tapping a man's ego. If more women did that, instead of hanging up on guys or not returning calls, they might get more results. Some of the points, like not being super available or talking about yourself only, are valid points. But some of the points in here could screw up your chances with a great guy.
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Summary: What I like in a woman
Review: I like a woman who is honest. Manipulative is not honest - it is immature. Hard to imagine how a relationship could last that is based on such behavior. Outright lying will end a relationship with me instantly. I like women who take initiative. I like women who return phone calls. If you do not return my call, I will not call again. When you don't, what I hear you saying is that you are not interested. It is also rude, another point against you. I also like women who initiate phone calls themselves. I like well educated women. A woman who answers an email with a terse three line quickie suggests that she is inarticulate. That she artificially suppresses phone or email communication seems to be contradictory to one of the most foundational aspects of a successful relationship: open, honest communication. The techniques this book recommends would quickly cause me to look elsewhere. I like women who answer the questions I ask instead of ignoring them or lying about themselves. I like women who don't passively wait to be asked out. If you want to go out, ask. Fear of rejection? Now you understand what equality means. For both men and women, if we don't ask, the answer is automatically no. I like women who are truly interested in equality in a relationship. That means not insisting on equality only when it suits them, or using double standards. When I ask a woman for a date, she is my guest and I should pay. It is impolite for her to demand to pay half. If she wants to pay for something, she should do the asking. Then I'd be her guest. She should do half the asking if she really wants equality. I like women who have a sense of humor. That doesn't mean women who exclusively expect to be entertained with my sense of humor, but rather those who are adept at being humorous themselves. If you want a relationship, stop playing games. This book helps to explain why an ever increasing percentage of women finish college, reach their 30th birthday, reach their 40th birthday without ever finding the right man for them. Or end up divorced, like one of the writers of this book. The only real value I see in this volume is that it helps me to weed out the women who rely upon such techniques. As an aside, I found it interesting to see in Amazon's listing that among other books bought by those who purchased this one was "Comedy Writing Secrets." How ironic!
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Summary: Don't laugh, it worked for me!
Review: After a failed 7 year marriage I found myself back in the dating pool again. Hell bent on NOT marrying the same type of guy or being a used & abused by men I bought the rules and did them strictly. I had men pining for me everywhere! I had an office full of flowers weekly! And I was happy because I really didn't NEED a man in my life. The book mostly teaches women that it is respecting yourself and confidence that wins a man's heart. The part about dating other guys until the ring is on your finger did not fly with one guy so I told him he would be exclusive. One year later we were married. We have NEVER had an argument in 3 years (and we even have a child now). He respects me and still treats me like a Queen! I highly reccomend this book to women with low self-esteem that are dating.
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Summary: Marry someone you like!
Review: I can't believe I actually read this lame book. It is about playing safe and hard to get to screen your admirers. A big problem about these rules is: when a woman is interested in a man she likes, she will lose him by playing these rules. It is rude not returning phone calls. It is socially inept acting disinterested to someone you like. All these negative qualities will steer away YOUR Mr. Right. Sure, this book taught you to move on because he was never meant to be. Wrong! The fact is these rules don't work on some guys and you blew up a chance with YOUR Mr. Right. The book implies you keep playing these rules and one day some Mr. Right (probably a low-self-esteemed one) who loves you regardless will be sharing your bed. Learn to live with him and hopefully you might grow to love him and let RULES sequels show you how to keep him. I say this is a pathetic marriage advice selectively given to some readers who can barely find mates. For women who ever experienced on love-at-the-first-sight and chemistry in relationship, this book is not for you. Attaction and romance are beyond the scope of this book. It is a shame to end up with someone you have to grow to love or learn to keep. To love and being loved in return is the best thing in life. You should trust your guts feelings and marry someone you like.
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Summary: Now I believe in the Rules
Review: When I first read the book a few months ago, I thought it was much crap (excuse my French). Why would anyone want to play all these games, and how could any guy possibly fall for them??? Lately, I've changed my mind. I met a very nice guy, however, because I wasn't attracted to him, I wasn't that eager to see him. Since he was a very nice person and I did have a good time with him, I agreed to go out with him, but not that often. I wasn't showing him that I liked him, all he "got" from me was pleasant conversations and polite goodnight kisses. Surprisingly, he wasn't put off by my "aloofness". As a matter of fact, he became more and more interested in me. And I must confess, after seeing him for a couple of months, I realized that I am in love with him. We now have a wonderful relationship, and I've never felt more confident in any previous relationship. I thought about this recently, and realized that I was probably following the "Rules", without even knowing that. I wasn't playing games; I was simply not as interested as he was. Therefore I think that if you follow the rules, most guys will not think you are playing with them, they will simply think that you do like them (because you did agree to meet with them), but that you're not sure whether you want a relationship with them or not. It's now up to them to convince you that they're the right person for you. So apparently yes, challenge does (usually) matter. Easy comes, easy goes. Don't be afraid that you will look silly. As I already said, I did almost everything they suggest, without even thinking about it, simply because I wasn't that interested in him. I didn't play games, because that was how I truly felt. Oh, and you ask me if I was ever successful when I was interested in a guy and didn't follow the rules? No, never. I never thought I have to play games, and when I liked a guy, if I thought we weren't seeing enough of each other, I would just call and ask to meet him. It was a pattern: I meet a guy, I like him, I want to see him more often, I call him more than he calls me, I ask him on dates, he stops calling, he doesn't return my calls. The end. From my own personal experience, the rules work, whether you apply them knowingly or unknowingly.
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Summary: Decent concepts buried by stupidity
Review: If you take the book as a whole and use a lot of common sense, you can pick out pretty good concepts to practice. Basically, develop enough self-confidence to not beg or cling. If you don't want a man to think you're easy, don't act like you are. Don't allow yourself to be a last minute date because his other plans fell through. My male friends do admit that they WANT to 'pursue' the woman they are interested in. However, these ideas that aren't half bad are buried in one of the most annoying books I have ever read. I couldn't decide if I was being initiated into a cult or an eighth grade secret club: dare break one of "the Rules" and be miserable and/or lonely forever - no exceptions. Refraining from badgering your guy with phone calls is a good idea; never returning his phone calls is not playing "hard to get" - it's rude. (And did they really need to include a chapter on not dating married men??)
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Summary: Politically incorrect.
Review: We live in a world of complexity. Every individual is different from the others, which makes us all equally unique. It is fairly ignorant and arrogant to expect these rules to be applicable to all men. Ironically, this world has never lacked of its audience to entertain any politically incorrect opinions. The Amazon reviews are as controversial as the book itself. The book apparently serves as a useful guide between some men and women who dearly embrace the idea of dating games. And, they should choose their mates from those who hold the same views and let alone those who don't. Otherwise, the disaster is inevitable when two opposite value systems collide. Like beauty, Mr. Right is only in the eye of the beholder.
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Summary: The necessary book..
Review: I want to say THANK YOU to the authors of this wonderful book. So many mistakes I could had avoided if only I read it earlier! I lost a lot because of not knowing these things. Sometimes, modern dating (daing in the era of confusion about male/female roles) without this knowledge is like trying to operate a complex machinery without a manual: the authors give you a great manual. And something tells me that the authors of this book are dearly loved by some great men and most likely will remain loved.. And I must comment on the earlier review (by a man) which compared a man's phone calls (that aren't being returned proptly, according to The Rules) to baby's cries that need to be attended to: well, while a child is laying helplessly is the crib, a man is free to leave you any time, and will sure do so if you're *too* responsive and givng at the start. Especially, it is true about "professional", "career" men--they like and are used to achieve and aspire to the high goal and think whatever is easy isn't worth them (sure, many will never openly admit it). Many men want to be able to buy the best car models, achieve the top in their career, win in computer games, etc--why would they be satisfied with a woman who's easily available and too transparent for them? The book is really about weeding out people who aren't truly interested in you to avoid wasiting time and keeping the mystery that men like so much to go on and on and letting it feed the romance and the beauty of it.
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Summary: Changed my dating life for positive!
Review: I bought this book a few months ago, and have attracted quality men since then. One thing I would disagree with is not having to look at men. In a study, women who smiled at men or flirted with them as they passed, where the man returns flirtation rewrites history in his brain and thinks he initiated it. Avoiding eye contact doesn't make sense, but the other rules are right. However, some rules have changed in book II. The ones that are different are that older women may call men back and that you are incouraged to discuss these rules with your psychologist, not that I need one. But The Rules are very good at having a life of your own, keeping your standards high, and not settling for someone who treats you second-class. I usually go for the players and have been hurt time and again. Now the men I date treat me like a queen! It's hard to get used to dining at the best restaurants and them calling frequently to see how I am, but I know that I haven't been hurt once since the rules. Buy this book if you're tired of guys leading you on & not committing or breaking up! You can thank me later. :)
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