Rating: Summary: If it had been a joke it would have been incredibly funny... Review: "Maybe it's because I'm not American that I don't understand this book", I thought after reading it. But after seeing some of the reviews here, I realise that it isn't the case (luckily). Some of the opinions presented here seem really strange to me. Quite a lot of people claim that "The Rules" is a feminist book. I don't see how that could be. The "love-yourself"-attitude, etc, etc are only tools that should be used for one singel purpose: GETTING MARRIED (what else could a woman wish for?). Or as the writers so cleverly put it: "Personal developement is alright - but it doesn't get you married." That the woman is the one to stay at home and clean the house is taken for granted. She must never be angry or disappointed, at least she must hide it at any cost from her dear husband. What I find even more shocking is that the writers claim that domestic violence is caused by the woman; she didn't follow the Rules. That the husband is mentally disturbed is almost never the case, according to the authors. The two writers seem to think that they have discovered some universal biological code for the human race. ALL men and ALL women work EXACTLY the same way and the Rules ALWAYS work if you follow them in the fanatic way that is recommended by the authors (a woman's spontaninity is always negative, she must always control herself). When I showed this book to my friends, it was my male friends that laughed the most. Who wants a woman that never returns your phonecalls, acts as if she was completely free from sorrows (not human) and remains a girl all her life (which is, according to the book, what the man wants)? Such a contempt for both men and women is hard to find elsewhere. If we follow the Rules we can be absolutely sure that men and women never will understand each other.
Rating: Summary: Book has its merits Review: I am just starting to use what I have learned from this book. I think it gets a lot of flack from people because they think it is game playing. But what people do not understand is that it outlines a plan for having respect for yourself and making men respect you as well. I think the advice definitely has its merits. While I don't agree that I need jewelry for my birthday...it is true that if a man doesn't bother to give you anything romantic or gives you nothing at all for a birthday...he should be dumped. (Just an example of things you learn with this book). It is true that many men do enjoy the challenge of the pursuit. This is human nature. How many times have you started dating someone that you may not have been attracted to in the beginning...someone you put off because of a lack of interest and he continued rapid pursuit. Then upon your interest in him and returning his feelings THE WAY YOU THINK YOU SHOULD he turned tale and RAN. This book will help you avoid that. I have only been doing this for a couple of weeks and I already feel a change in my attitude. It does help.
Rating: Summary: Pathetic... Review: I read this book, and overall, I thought it should be re-titled: "How to Have an Unhealthy Relationship With a Man: Time-Tested Secrets on Catching Mr. Wrong by Living in Fear." As a woman, I am not just being feminist. I find this book to be demeaning to both men and women. There were a couple of Rules that I agreed with, like fixing yourself up so that you "light up a room," in other words, dress well, look good, take care of yourself, and project a positive image of yourself, and keeping a busy social life. But the rest, like not returning the guy's phone calls and calling it quits if he doesn't give you jewelry for your birthday?? That's so rude. Guys, would you SERIOUSLY want to date a woman who did those things? If so, I think you are in big trouble. Sure, there are men who will be attracted to women who follow the Rules - men who are shallow, often narcissistic or abusive, and don't feel comfortable around women who act like normal human beings. The Rules assumes that ALL men are like this. The fact is, there are also a lot of NICE men who have better things to do than chase after women who don't act interested in them; men who act like real people. Ladies, would you RESPECT a guy who only likes women who play mind-games with him and values him only by how fat his wallet is, let alone go out with him? If you do, then you're in big trouble too. If you want a man who makes you feel like you're walking on eggs whenever you're around him, then the Rules are definitely the way to go. Especially if you want to end up a puppet rather than a real woman. If I sound too harsh, that's too bad. I'm sorry, but I'm telling it like it is. Healthy relationships are based on truth, not deception. When two people really love each other, they don't feel the need to put on an act.
Rating: Summary: That 5 is an average of a 10 and a 0. Review: This book reminds me of one that was popular 20 years ago, Dress for Success by John Malloy: I bought the book just as I was getting my CompSci degree and followed its directions (Blue Suit, black shoes with black socks that go up to about your knees, white or blue shirt, red, white, blue tie in a rep stripe, white pocket handkerchief, simple black belt). My opinions are quite remote from those in the book, and, as I discovered later, so are John T. Malloy's. We both think it reprehensible, counter-productive, and stupid that hiring decisions and judgments of character should be made on the basis of dress. But they are (or, I should hope, were). The damned sincere suit worked! I went on something like 20 job interviews in the suit and got something like 17 offers. I was stranded with car trouble in the middle of Nebraska one Sunday (on my way to my first job) and tried to hitch for a solid hour in what I considered to be good clothes, the ones I'd taught in for years: slacks, dress shirt open at the collar, cowboy boots. I changed to the sincere suit and the very first car that came by picked me up. The driver was wearing slacks, a dress shirt, and cowboy boots -- about the same outfit that the 150 drivers who hadn't picked me up were wearing. I didn't like it and Malloy didn't like it and I'll bet if I'd explained it to the drivers, they wouldn't have liked it either. But it worked. Do I need to write much more? As other reviewers have noted, you need to read the book carefully. It's easy to get wrong. I give it a 10 because I think that it works (I have no direct experience and self-testimonials are suspect). If you follow the directions, you will get the results. I give it a 0 because I fear that it works. My sex really is that stupid and easily led. It would be nice if lasting relationships could be built on something less elemental than the impulse that makes the fish strike when you pull the bait away from him, and maybe they are, but I've never seen a fish caught by rational argument. Captain Curmudgeon P.S. The second-best clothing situation is the Navy. Everyone wears the exact same thing. You take the top one off the pile every day and put it in the dirties every evening and no one ever thinks about what they or anyone else is wearing.
Rating: Summary: The Rules Work-- if You are Predisposed to Them Review: "The Rules" is a wake up. I am not a modern woman-- I was raised in a convent and instead of rebeling, I found the way of life quite satisfying. Unfortunately, I was not "called" to that lifestyle and my enterance to the real world was shocking. I tried to adjust, but I didn't fit in. A failed marriage to man who thought my upbringing would make me obedient left me confused and with three children. When I read The Rules, I realized that there were men out there who wanted someone like I was-- intelligent but still very feminine, so I began to follw them. I DID call them back-- but I never sounded desperate and I learned that to keep a man I was allowed to have a life and a sense of humour. I was friendly-- not stand-offish as I had previously tended to be from sheer fear! By reading The Rules, I was allowed to be the person that I was-- it was liberating! I have married a very good man. He doesn't want his dinner on the table the moment he walks in the door, but he does treat me well. He likes the fact that I am not afraid to express my feminine side and look sexy, but he also treats me like gold. Feminists out there will gag, but if you are an "old fashioned" woman, The Rules will be second nature to you and you will be able to carry them off with confidence. If The Rules aren't for you, you will not be happy because you will be as comfortable following them as someone who wears stilletoes two sizes too small! No one wants to be with someone who is uncomfortable with themselves.
Rating: Summary: great book for MEN Review: I picked up this book so I'd have something to read while my car was being detailed. I'd never heard of it at the time. As I read, I realized, yeah, they're right, you can get a man this way. But who wants a man who hounds you like a puppy dog? And what man would want a woman who resorts to these kind of headgames? After reading the book, I realized I would die if anyone ever noticed it on my shelves. The only reason I give it a 3 is that it has some merit for men...MEN, READ THIS BOOK...not all women are like this, but if you're getting the cold shoulder, maybe you should examine her bookshelves!
Rating: Summary: Don't waste your money!! Review: Playing games is not the way to meet a man which is what this book is all about. Not returning phone calls is rude! Who cares who calls who or who ends the conversation first! Why lie and say your busy? Honestly and be yourself is what I say. If I was a guy and someone did not call me back or played games, I would not waste my time! This book is a joke and stupid!!
Rating: Summary: Read It First Review: I think this is a great book. I bought it before all the "hoopla" surrounding it got started. My advice is for you to read and judge it for yourself. It makes great points that some women need to hear. People tend to "give" in relationships what they expect to "receive". Women are particularly bad at this. Men and women ARE different and this book is a "Wake-up" call to those women who make the mistake of thinking the man in her life needs what she needs.
Rating: Summary: Ugh.... Review: Ok, I can understand telling women that they need to value their own life *outside* of a relationship, but these pathetic little mind-trips disguised as advice are NOT the way to do it. And as a feminist I will definitely report my disgust with the way men are portrayed here. Come on! Men are not the enemy ok? They're just other human beings in search of love. Sheesh. Whatever happened to honesty and respect? Without mutual honesty these techniques are merely a trap for marriage. Woe be to those poor women who believe that marriage is the be-all and the end-all of existence, and so will use any resource (such as this one) to get it.
Rating: Summary: "Get a nose job" and other pearls of wisdom Review: Parts of the book read like a chain leter "Miss. S didn't follow this rule and two weeks later she was dumped..." Besides the obvious flaw of seeing marriage as the "ultimate goal" it seems to claim that all men worth marrying can be lumped into one monotonous group, all with the same taste in women. How to meet a man . . . "never return a man's call" "if you have a bad nose, get a nose job" "read Glamour and wear makeup" and most importantly "DON'T DISCUSS THIS WITH YOUR THERAPIST" Of course, therapists know nothing about relationships, but these authoresses do.
This is the perfect book for someone who wants to marry a textbook, superficial man, and play games the rest of her life. If you consider yourself a unique individual, have any original taste in men, or prefer openness and honesty, this book is not for you.
For a book that tells you that we want is a man for companionship, the book's goal is anything but. It strives for a "mysterious and busy" image of you, the upkeep of which will never leave you time for real intimacy.
All quotes are paraphrased.
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