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Summary: Okay, if not this set of Rules, create your own!
Review: There was some good solid thought-provoking rules. Yes, there were some shallow and silly ones, too. Fact is, rather men admit it or not, they definitely have rules and codes they use on women. The fact that the most of the male reviewers have ridiculed this book means it has some merit. Also ladies, if you don't like Ellen and Sherrie's Rules, at least establish some of your own. Men do!
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Summary: I echo the 08-30-99 reader!
Review: I am an African American female. Once upon a time, anyone who managed to get in print or on TV was a respected person. But not these days. These authors are just 2 of a long line self-made relationship gurus. I am not criticizing the authors because they are White. In fact, there's an equally disgusting African American version of Rules authored by Denene Milner.At age 38 and divorced, all I ever heard was how impossible it would be for me to be in another relationship with a decent (Black) man. You know what I did? Threw away all the guru books written by Rules authors, DeAngelis, Baisden, Gray, Milner, Farrell, July, etc. (Yep, I had them all.) I stopped searching. I prayed in Jesus' name, thanking God for all that I have. Then I got on with life, treating myself and ALL people with dignity and respect. I now am involved with a man who not only meets but exceeds my expectations. We are the best of friends because I am not a desperate female nor do I treat him as a marriage target. Things are going so well that marriage could never be more than "icing" on an already delicious cake. I wonder. Who and where are these authors' husbands? How do the authors raise their own sons and daughters? Beware of relationship gurus whose Rules and advice are more known than their actual family dynamics. Men are people, too. Don't forget to review the 8-30-99 comments given by a Gary, IN reader. Blessings to all!
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Summary: Try some rules of your own...
Review: It's really a very simple matter when it comes to being in a healthy, happy, committed relationship. TALK! TELL THE MAN WHO YOU REALLY ARE! Geez, how hard is that? Is manipulation (and YES, it IS manipulation) and self deprivation healthy? I mean, what's the point of looking for someone to love if they never know who you are? "The Rules" are out dated and foolish: don't call a man often, once you do get him, always concentrate on him...please. If you're interested in someone, the natural thing to do is to let him know. If a man loves you, he will love you for your great points and forgive your not-so-great points. This book is the perfect way for men to weed out shallow women. And, by the way--I'm a young woman who's marrying the man of my dreams in a year, and I tried a radical tactic: I told him I liked him. The rest is history.
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Summary: An absolute must for a live-happily-ever after marriage!
Review: This book is absolutely wonderful and very realistic. It simply helps you distinguish who are the people who really love you and helps you steer clear from those who don't. Also, it allows you to built a stonger self-esteem. I love it and have recommended it to all my friends!
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Summary: I bought this for my daughter
Review: This was my philosophy too (in my younger days): if she's too eager she's there to be taken but she's not worth any respect. These writers know what men like: a challenge. The guys who condemn this book never had a woman worth fighting for, just left-overs. I bought this to my daughter because I want her to have a man who doesn't give up easily. After all, she's the most precious thing there is.
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Summary: This book is NOT about manipulation!!
Review: You guys who think that this book is about games and manipulation obviously misunderstand it. Yes, I would return a mans call after 2-3 times if I liked them. The rules just tells us how a man behaves if he really likes us. For example, men know that if they really like someone they would not wait until Friday to ask for a weekend date and men also know that women love to receive flowers, perfume and jewellry. Please guys, do not underestimate this book. It is not a game - it is just helping women to know who loves them and who doesn't. When we do the rules, we are giving men the secret silent code that they understand really well, we are NOT trying to manipulate them into wanting to marry us. We are just trying to limit the time that the men who are not mad about us spend in our lives. The ones who like us will treat us well and stay in our lives and the ones who don't will not.
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Summary: Break Rules 2 through 6 as often as you can
Review: I'm a man, I read this book to get an insight into the female psyche, like Sun Tzu says, "you have to know your enemy". A bit about me: I'm in my mid 30's, not Brad Pitt, but above average looking, with a decent income from a career in the financial services sector. In other words, I would be a decent catch. In most of my past relationships, we broke up because one of us got transferred to another city, in other words, I didn't dump the women because they broke "the rules". I have found that I am most successful with the women who are receptive to me, women who either initiate contact with me, or at least looked at me. As a rule, I would generally not approach a woman who hasn't signaled this receptive attitude. Why bang my head against the wall going after the frigid and aloof "ice queens" when there are so many nice, friendly and receptive women? If you want to meet a guy, avoiding them, and deliberately ignoring them is NOT the way to do it. I have have a general rule about phone protocol. I understand this "hard to get" bit, so, I'm willing to call a woman 3 times. If she doesn't return my calls by then, I move on. Life's too short for this kind of head game garbage. So keep breaking rules 2 through 6 if you really want to connect with a guy. I also question some of the case studies. On page 31, the authors say that Sally broke the rule of talking to a man and found out later that he was an out of town businessman. Duh! Earth calling Ellen & Sherrie, if the man started the conversation with Sally instead, does he automatically change into someone who isn't an out of town businessman? Get real. Never break rules 16, 18 and 35. Guys don't like to be nagged. Rule 12 is a little bit wacko, you're supposed to dump a guy who doesn't give you a romantic present on your birthday and valentines. It's good for a guy to be dumped under those circumstances, because he's dating a wacko and should not be with her!
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Summary: Read if you like to laugh at ignorance
Review: I found a copy of the rules in my mom's room and read it for the hell of it to see what it said, to see if any theories could prove helpful, etc. not for me but for anyone in general. When I actually read the content, I couldn't belive it. I am not a feminist but give me a break. The Rules seems so demening to women, not to mention contradictive. It teaches that women are the prize to gain, yet when you read it, you feel like you have to trap a man, like you are not good enough to get one without any gimicks. I am 17, and I read the Teen Dating section. It advised teens to copy what the popular girls in school where wearing, and try not to be too different. It also said to spend earned money on new clothes and manicures. Guys like girls who wear the latest trends-or so the rules say!(My boyfriend doesn't even know the difference between cargo pants and flairs, and has barely a clue about girls fashion such like all other teen boys.) The Rules is based on the idea that if you ignore and man and be standoffish, he will want you because he can't have you. Well, no kidding I don't need to buy a book to tell me that. It's human nature that to *anyone* not just men, something out of reach always seems more diserable than what is so easy to attain. If the rules is the way to get a man i think I am going to be single for a while. P.S. My mom, the owner of the book, feels the same
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Summary: Bad and dangerous advice
Review: I'm a guy, I read a lot of these women's romance self-help books to "know the enemy". I think this book insults the intelligence of the average woman and gives outdated advice which is bad and even dangerous. Women will lose a lot of guys by not calling, not returning their calls, acting coy, etc. Like most guys, I use "the baseball rule, 3 strikes and you're out". I'll call a woman 3 times, if she does not return my call by the 3rd call, I drop her and move on. It's that simple. The only guys who continue to call after 3 times are the obsessive types. You won't be "Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right", you'll be tempting the obsessive Mr. Stalker. When a woman is too coy, too unavailable, too game-playing, too manipulative or too "rulesy", I drop her altogether, because I really have better things to do with my time, and better women to do those things with. Men aren't stupid, when they spot these "rulesy" types, they drop them, write them off as psychos. I have to ask you women a question. Can you really respect a guy you can manipulate so easily???? If you can't respect him, why would you want to marry him???? In short, the best rule is be yourself, hope for the best. At least you'll respect yourself.
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Summary: For the self-respecting, respectable lady
Review: With the death of my dad, my mom was hurtled into the "singles scene" after 45 years of marriage. She's been raving about this book, so I became curious enough to read it (although I'm a married woman). Pure and simple, it just makes sense. (Dr. Laura would be proud of these authors.) I wish I'd read it when I was single for some of its insights; I could've avoided some unpleasant consequences of dumb behavior. The behaviors it encourages should not come as a surprise to women of healthy self-esteem and self-respect; women who know their personal boundaries: "ladies," in the true sense of the word. I thoroughly enjoyed The Rules.
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