Rating: Summary: ladies, the rules work, whether or not you agree with them! Review: Anyone who has read the rules and has tried them knows they work. They require patience and strength, but in the long run they will save women a lot of heartache.Let's face it; it's more fun to be pursued. I'm a feminist; still, I know that it's the man's job to pursue the woman. We deserve it! We should be wined and dined. He needs to work for it. Believe me, men do not value that which they don't work for. Try them and you'll see. You owe it to yourself!
Rating: Summary: Let's Deal with Reality here ... Review: Is life fair? No. Do nice guys (and gals) always finish first? No. So, let's deal with reality, shall we? This book is true; it's real; and that's why people criticize it. The basic message of The Rules is that women cannot 'make' a man fall in love with her and cannot 'make' a man be attracted to her. He either is or he isn't. And if he isn't attracted and interested, then chasing him isn't going to make him attracted and interested. Oh sure, he may go along for the ride and have a little fun on the side but that's a far as it'll go. The Rules are good ones, by and large: don't tell your life story right off the bat, don't complain, don't jump right into bed with a man, keep yourself busy, keep your friends and value your time. Everyone wants to be important to someone else. The Rules is a way of determining when you are important and when someone really wants to be with you. It is NOT manipulative because you cannot *change* someone's feelings. And guys, please be honest here: you don't want a woman who's a doormat and will do anything to be with you. That's not love, that's dependency. And why would that be attractive? If you're a woman READ this book and see which rules you already do and which you don't. Modify them as you see fit. But first and foremost: don't chase after men and do spend time with yourself, your family, and your friends regardless of whether you have a boyfriend, fiance or husband. Cherish yourself and all you have to offer and don't think you have to give up 'you' to find true love. Let men be the aggressors -- that doesn't mean men get to be aggressive cave-dwelling types. It means that men get to determine their interest level without pressure. It allows men and women to have some space in their lives. It means that women don't abandon their friends to be with a man or break plans to spend with a man who calls at the last minute... it's about having dignity, believing in the natural order of the universe and not hanging on to someone who really doesn't love you, care about you, want to be with you or cherish you. Those are rules I can certainly understand and live with.
Rating: Summary: Only Appropriate for the Truly Desperate Review: I endow The Rules with even a single star because I think that the clingy, self-esteem-impaired women of the world might find useful a guidebook that tells them how to seem a little less desperate and lovelorn, and that exhorts them to raise their standards in searching for a date/boyfriend/husband. However, I (unfortunately) can personally attest to The Rules snaring only all the wrong sorts of men for the rest of us. As I have learned, only the incredibly arrogant man persists after a woman who never calls him, doesn't look at him much on the first date, and appears only mildly interested in him. The average intelligent, considerate man with a normal amount of self-confidence assumes that a Rules-following woman is either uninterested or simply cold, and will let her go after a date or two with few regrets. And the sweet, shy man (bless his heart) doesn't have a fighting chance with a "Rules Girl." Furthermore, I hope that enlightened women will find advice to "put lipstick on even when you go jogging... get a nose job, color gray hair, grow your hair long" and to "hike up your skirt to entice the opposite sex"(p. 19) insulting, and advice to, on the first date, "look down at the table or your food, or simply survey the crowd at the restaurant" (p. 34), rather than looking consistently at your date, ridiculous. The authors of this book have been married for years, and have not, I hope, been dating during the last few decades. I don't think they have the foggiest idea how much dating norms have changed in the last two dozen years or so. I have never had such poor luck maintaining a relationship as I have during the past several months of test-driving The Rules. Though the authors' plentiful, exuberant anecdotes about women for whom The Rules have worked are seductive, I am willing to bet that those women found happiness in love DESPITE the Rules, not because of them. There are, I will bet, legions of women for whom The Rules have led to nothing but disappointment and lost opportunities but whose stories were conveniently overlooked by the authors. I am looking forward to relinquishing this silly book to my fireplace as soon as possible.
Rating: Summary: Please stop being so literal Review: Everyone criticizes this book for advising that you not be yourself until you are married, if then. However, that is not what it says at all. The authors simply advise going slowly with information on the first few dates until there is some level of trust and intimacy. Let's face it women, how attractive was the last man you dated who spilled his guts about his ex, his urinary tract infection, or his problems with his mother on the first date. Yes, I agree that the book does not take the time to explain these concepts as it could have, but come on! Everyone will interpret the Rules slightly differently. For women who have a tendency to move too quickly through the stages of romantic attraction, or seem to always be giving more than receiving, and find that their social world dwindles six months after getting serious, this book has good pointers for remaining autonomous while being a loving partner. My friends who pursued their husbands before marriage are "surprise!" still pursuing them. Twenty years later they are still solving problems for their childish mate, being overly sacrificial with their time, and desperately hoping he'll remember a card on Valentine's Day. I have recently read both "The Rules" and "Mars and Venus on A Date" They are remarkably similar. Men feel good when they make you feel comfortable and when you trust them to be capable. Women feel good when the men they date appreciate them. I have tried the Rules on a new man, and of course I call him back--The Rules say to use discretion about calling back, just not to do it too often. He called originally on a Thursday--I got off the phone in 10 minutes and he asked if I would call him. I said, "I could, but if you decide you'd like to go out with me you could call early next week and we could set a time. "Okay" he said,"but if I forget, you call me, okay?" I didn't reply to that, but just told him how much I enjoyed our conversation and hoped to talk to him again. He called and left me a message at work the next Friday afternoon. I was already going to the beach at that point, so I called him back Monday and left a message at his work that showed my enthusiasm for hearing from him again, but not mentioning a date. Within one day he called me and we had a date that weekend that he went to the trouble to plan. It feels great to know that I haven't "told" a guy I don't want to be asked late in the week on a date for the weekend, but to know that early on someone has figured it out and respects me for it.
Rating: Summary: I recommend a much better book than this one. Review: I read this book and I think that it is trash. The rules go against nature. I do however, highly recommend the book titled How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You, written by Leil Lowndes. The book How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You is much more realistic (I also give this book 5 stars).
Rating: Summary: Sounds selfish but ... it works! Review: This book cuts to the chase. It is blunt and does not sugar-coat anything. I think what upsets most men about this book is that it teaches a woman to rely on her OWN judgement with the Rules as a guide. Each and every man will tell you what a DECENT guy he is. Ladies when you go shopping, you know we take all the time in the world to compare prices, size, reputation, etc of the product/service BEFORE we buy it. In other words, we don't trust soley on the product's seductive advertisers. We should be even more cynical, inquisitve, etc. with our hearts, bodies, and emotions where any man is concerned. Ellen and Sherrie's rules are a GOD-send in this respect. Using The Rules has helped me avoid men who are rage-aholics, sex creeps, hate addicts, commitment phobics, etc. I wished I'd read this book many years ago. I am now is a very emotionally balanced relationship with a rare find -- a real man, one who is a gentleman, fun, and all the things any woman would DREAM of in a man. His advice supports the Rules, "Most women do too much for ALL the men in their lives, believe anything the man tells them, reward his obviously negative behavior constantly. Then the same women wonder why most men are the selfish, sexually-entitled, minority hating, pseudo-intellectuals that they are today." The only problem I have is with the sub-title. It should read, "How to treasure your mind, body, and soul and enjoy the rest has to offer without wasting your precious time on glorified juvenile deliquents." The subtitle puts to much focus on the man, as if he is some sort of treasure to capture. That's my only reason for 4 instead of 5 stars. The only men who should be offended by this book are the ones women are better off without anyway. The only women who are offended by this book are the eternally nurturing wives, mothers and mistresses of the very same men this book helps weed out in the early stages of a relationship. As the old saying goes, "Once the fool (non-Rules females) learns the rules (created by men and for men at a woman's expense), the game is over! " Keep up the good work, Ellen & Sherrie. (For entertainment read the overly critical, nasty reveiws on this book, especially those from "decent" men -- hilarious and telling.)
Rating: Summary: These "Rules" should be broken! Review: Two well-meaning women giving the worst possible advice. They advise not to return a man's phone calls, not to reveal anything about yourself until he slips a diamond ring on your finger, etc... What nonsense! I ask the author's to put themselves in the man's shoes. Would they like their phone calls unanswered? Would they like to spend several hours with a man and come away knowing absolutely NOTHING about him? If you want good advice, read Barbara DeAngelis's "The Real Rules". It was written specifically to counter the garbage in "The Rules".
Rating: Summary: Just for the record Review: I am a single male and I decided to read this book, among others also, to gain a better understanding on dating and how I can improve myself to find, and be with the women I am interested in, in order to find the right woman for me. I did learn some good information, but which I would do anyway. Such as getting a romantic gift and not a practical one for special occasions. I personally enjoy giving flowers, or if I happen to go on a trip somewhere, a specialty item, such as a piece of art from that location. I also like to make my own personalized cards describing how I feel. I am all for improving your self-esteem and having hobbies and interests. Life has a lot to offer. First of all, I believe that there has to be chemistry in mind, body, and in soul, from both of us equally. We would really have to enjoy being with each other, during the good times as well as the bad. I also am aware that I have to be interested on my part. I have been doing a lot of soul searching (for years now) about what I want and need in my life. I just want the female readers to know that these "rules" tactics don't and will most likely never work on me. For some reason, I get turned off if I have to chase the woman to the extremes that is described in this book. Actually, "the rules" have the opposite effect on me. Personally, I only get turned on when a woman I am interested in gives herself to me. Or at least lets me know in a very clear way, verbally or in body language, that I can have her. That is just the way I am. I consider myself to be a good person and a good provider and I know that I will make a good husband and family man. To me neglect is a form of abuse and I just don't understand how this is supposed to turn me on and make me feel like I am happy to have won you as if you were some object that has no soul. Since I like movies I decided to go and rent Love Story as suggested on page 110. I saw it and I have to admit that it is a good movie (but it was really sad in the ending). Just for the record, Jenny initiated the date! In a psychologically negative type of way, by saying that he is stupid for not asking her to coffee. I personally would recommend the movie Sleepless in Seattle. I can relate to this movie more. Tom Hank's character is a mellow, genuine, person. He laid his cards on the table and Meg's character came to him and into his life. And yes she was appreciated. And yes many other women responded to his longing and yes he did turn many of them away until he found Meg's character, the right woman for him. He was too depressed to do all the nonsense that this book would recommend the man to do in order to gain your love. I do realize that everyone has different wants and needs out of life but these rules tactics would never work on me. Hey there are people out there who are also into S & M. To me this is just like mental S & M. This book does not represent the way I fantasize about finding and meeting my dream woman. Actually, this book is filled with suggestions for you to do which would really turn me off to the point where I would actually feel a lot better being single, than having a woman that I could care for, playing games with me making me feel like some unappreciated circus dog begging for your love but never really getting it. Just be yourself and treat people the way you yourself want to be treated.
Rating: Summary: A Rules Girl Since The Day I Was Born Review: I did everything in the book before I ever even saw it. Then a friend showed it to me and I recognized my own life and attitude toward relationships(finally some women who have a clue). I've been chased by men my whole life, so yes, the rules work, and women should follow them!
Rating: Summary: pathetic Review: this book is only good for extremely needy, infantile women in that it sends one positive message - get a life. for the rest of us non-simpering morons, being ourselves already puts us head and shoulders ahead of these women. i mean, if you need to be told to develop other interests - if you have no valid reason for developing other interests than because you are following the rules - you are an idiot and deserve the lame husband you are going to end up with. however, if you are a cool chick like me, you can call whenever you want, sleep with a man as early as you like, do whatever it is you feel like doing - women like us are commodities and women who follow the rules, who need the rules for guidance, will only be poor imitations. essentially, if you read this book and it speaks to you - there really is very little hope for you. so, go on, follow it. women like you wont take the men i want - you don't make a dent in my existence. you're fishing in a different pool than i am, baby.
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