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Women's Fiction
Rules:Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing Heart of Mr Right

Rules:Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing Heart of Mr Right

List Price: $5.99
Your Price: $5.39
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 5 stars
Summary: A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW
Review: This book angers people because they are unable to analyze it rationally and see that it is not really telling women to play games or to manipulate men. It is teaching women the basic rules of socialization. Our society seems to have lost all perception when it comes to how to behave in relationships-be they romantic or otherwise. The book suggests that a woman hold her tongue and not bore a man with her life story the first time she meets him. This is not an "old fashioned" idea and it is a reflection of how lacking people are in social skills that they must be told not to do this. To those of you who disliked the book: do you enjoy spending your time with someone who does not allow you to get a word in edgewise? Do you often go on second dates with people who gave you a blow by blow description of every moment of their life on the first date? Men and women are different when it comes to love and relationships, I'm not suggesting that either gender is superior in regards to these aspects of life, but they are different. "The same as" has become a synonym for "Equal," but they do not have the same meaning. Yes, women are EQUAL to men. No, women are not THE SAME AS men. Some people who reviewed the book seemed to be offended by the rule that suggested not looking at your date too much over dinner-I don't think the authors intended for their readers to take this to mean NEVER look at your date, or avoid eye contact at all costs. It is rude to stare at a person throughout a date, especially a dinner, where being continually watched while eating can become unnerving. The book does not tell women that they should NEVER be honest with a man, it only says that in the early stages of dating it is not nessecary to inform the other of your every action. This book is about having self respect and about an equal relationship, not about sending women back 50 years. It does not suggest that women should not work, vote, or lead an active life that includes many interests besides men, in fact, it does just the opposite. I advise the women who read this book not to get defensive and proclaim themselves too "modern" for "the rules" and take a deeper look at how they behave at all times, as well as how they behave in relationships. It could be said that because I am a teenager, I don't "understand" how things really are. What I do understand is that we live in therapist-ridden world where people are led to belive that they are the victim of someone or someting else and therefore don't need to take responsibility for their life and its direction.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Men really want Rules girls even though they say otherwise
Review: I've tried so hard prior to reading this book to be nice to the men in my life - always placing them above myself and thinking of ways to show them my love for them. All that led to was the men taking me for granted and eventually wanting more space from me. It seemed like the more I cared about them and the more I did for them, the more they wanted to push me away. Eventually, I felt used and unloved. They came to me to ask me to do things for them, but they did not appreciate neither me nor what I did for them. I've had several talks with men who will not lie to me (relatives and close friends) and they've all advised me exactly the way the Rules book did - invest more of your mind into the relationship and less of your emotions; don't chase after men; men will not treasure you if getting you wasn't a challenge to them. I wouldn't listen to these well-meaning guys at first because I hate playing games and I would not want to date a guy who played games with me either (do unto others as you would others to you, right?). It's not until the guy that I'm dating now (who is incredibly honest and open with me) and reading parts of the Rules book that it finally hit home - the Rules isn't about playing games; it's about giving guys what they really want - I can't do unto them what I'd like them to do unto me and expect them to like me better because of it because men and women are different and want different things! I can list so many concrete examples both from my past failures and from my successes after I started following the rules, but the bottom line is this (coming straight from the guys): Guys enjoy a challenge and if it wasn't a challenge to get you, then they will not treasure and appreciate you! That's not to say be mean to the guys or play tricks on them, but give them enough challenge to make them feel like they're working to get us - they honestly like that: my guy has completely changed his nonchalant attitude towards me after I started doing the Rules! The Rules has restored my self-confidence and made me a much happier person - satisfied with my own life and no longer emotionally dependent on a man. Thanks Ellen and Sherrie!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Some things never change
Review: I am an attractive young woman and have found that being liberated in asking guys out and talking about sex to them and buying them gifts may keep em for a week or a month or a couple of months, or even years of marriage, but is he really somebody you would WANT to stay with? I have learned very many lessons from my mother in what to expect from a man and that is that the man WANTS to take the upper hand. It is human nature for the male species, and that never goes out of style or becomes old fashioned. Men like to be the agressor; they like to chase you, and when you chase him, its too easy for him or he generally moves on, or he will keep you and USE you. With some advice like not returning calls, use your best judgement on that, but NEVER ask a man out, dont ask him to dance, dont buy him a drink, dont ask for his number or call him first, cause generally it wont be worth the effort. He WILL get bored. Before reading the book I asked a couple of men out and was rejected every time. They know they've got me, so whats the fun in that? After reading this book I followed the rules to a T and was asked out that same week. ANd this guy has asked me out numerous time after words, but sorry to say i keep rejecting him for dates. But when we go out as friends he treat me like a queen. Ladies, isnt that what you REALLY want? Dont you want to be chased, pursued, dont you want to know that this handsome, charming man REALLY wants you and will go at anything to get you? Men have been the pursuer for eons, and always voluntarily, and they have always prefered it that way, so why should anything be different nowadays? why because this is the 21st century? Not good enough. Some things just never change.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Bending the Rules
Review: Although its explanation for these observed differences between men and women is simplistic, the reason The Rules is a good reference work is because there are some as-yet poorly defined discrepancies between the way men and women choose mates. The Rules can be bent a bit but only if you have a pretty good relationship with the guy going in and are ready to return to the strict formula the moment something seems "off." Use these rules with a light hand but take them deadly seriously, if that makes sense. They do work, but every situation is an individual one. Good luck. (I plan to read The Code to bolster my defenses, too.)

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: The Worst Book on Relationships Ever Written
Review: I'm a guy, and got this book just to find out what advice "Rules" women have been following. To my dismay, I discovered an astonishing amount of really terrible advice. I'd have given this book zero stars, but couldn't figure out how to do it. Men just don't work the way the authors imagine. If a woman acts aloof and uninterested in me, I assume she is uninterested and will look for someone else. Acting uninterested does not in any way make her appear more attractive. You should also note that one of the rules admonishes women not to discuss "The Rules" with anyone who may disagree with them. Doesn't it seem a little suspicious that these ideas can't stand on their own, and have to be supported artificially by effectively eliminating any competing ideas? I can only wonder about how much loneliness and heartbreak this book has caused. Read "The Real Rules" by Barbara De Angelis instead. She provides much better advice.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: You Have Got To Be Kidding Me!
Review: A book that is all focused on getting a man to slip a ring on your finger is going to involve some trickery and manipulation. Is that how you should treat the person that you would like to be with for the rest of your life? I really hope that is a rhetorical question for most of us.

If you can't find a mate by simply being yourself, maybe you are better off single. My God, it seems like some of the audience that this "book" is targeted to would rather become lepers than admit they are unmarried at 35. Give me a BREAK!

I cannot believe that women would actually purchase this book! Talk about setting woman's rights back 100 years! Give up your suffrage if you read this!

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Thanks for the laughs
Review: Sure most of the stuff was true in the 50s and 60s, when parents had to be watchful, lest an unwanted pregnancy end dreams and a life. I agree that women should have their own lives, and jobs they love.

However, this is 40 years after the birth control pill. Women now can control fertility and their future.

Are there still men out there who are willing to pay for sex on the lifetime installment plan?

The funniest part was the line about tilt your head forward and let your hair fall about the face, then tilt your head and smooth the hair back with your hand.

I can imagine oodles of women doing this in public. Hilarious!

What is the deal with therapists?

Ladies, if you think giving flowers is a big event, listen to Tom. Flowers are the easiest thing to give, no thought required.

Just think, once you have trapped the man of your dream you can then kill him slowly with lettuce sandwiches and marshmallows and other nonsense from women's magazines.

Again, thanks for the laughs.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: This book is horrible.
Review: My sister read this book and found it repulsive. Out of sheer curiousity I read this and was appauled. I am a 28 year old professional man and if I saw this on the shelf of a woman I was dating- I'd leave.

This book lays the ground work for mind games that can only lead to mistrust in a relationship. If you want to attract a man who will in turn expect you to be barefoot and pregnant- follow these rules. We've grown since the 50's, why are these outdated ideas still around! If you want a modern man just be open and honest, this book suggests anything but that.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Haha!!!
Review: I bought this gift as a gag gift for a friend, and it was thrown back in my face. I have skimmed most likely about 60% of it. Some of what I say may be superficial, as it is the only "self help" style book I have ever read, so I cannot compare it with any other.

On the whole, this book describes tactics that are very passive aggressive! I don't know, I don't expect a girl to cough up her whole life story to me, but deliberately lying to "seem mysterious"!? It just does not seem like the way to build trust. If I lied about where I went one day... well we all know that does not build trust. But this book tells women to lie to potential husbands. And not just lie to protect their privacy, or keep space at early parts of a relationship, but just to plain out be manipulative.

But just one quote says it all. There's actually a rule, "Don't discuss The Rules with your therapist!" Now that is scary stuff. There must be other "self help books for dating" books out there, I'm sure Amazon has tons of them. Get another, this one gives me the creeps.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: A Waste of Wood Pulp, For the Most Part
Review: I endow The Rules with even a single star because I think that the overly clingy women of the world might find useful a guidebook that informs them how to seem a little less desperate, and that exhorts them to raise their standards in searching for a date/boyfriend/husband.

However, I (unfortunately) can personally attest to The Rules snaring only all the wrong sorts of men for the rest of us. As I have learned, only the incredibly arrogant man persists after a woman who never calls him, doesn't look at him much on the first date, and appears only mildly interested in him. The average intelligent, considerate man with a normal amount of self-confidence will more likely assume that a Rules-following woman is either uninterested or simply cold, and will let her go after a date or two with few regrets. And the sweet, shy man (bless his heart) doesn't have a fighting chance with a "Rules Girl."

Furthermore, I hope that enlightened women will find advice to "put lipstick on even when you go jogging... get a nose job, color gray hair, grow your hair long" and to "hike up your skirt to entice the opposite sex"(p. 19) degrading, and advice to, on the first date, "look down at the table or your food, or simply survey the crowd at the restaurant" (p. 34), rather than looking consistently at your date, ridiculous. I don't think the authors of this book have the foggiest idea how much dating norms have changed for the better in the last two dozen years or so.

Though the authors' plentiful, exuberant anecdotes about women for whom The Rules have worked are seductive, I am willing to bet that those women found happiness in love DESPITE the Rules, not because of them. There are, I will bet, legions of women for whom The Rules have led to nothing but disappointment and lost opportunities but whose stories were conveniently overlooked by the authors.

I look forward to relinquishing this silly book to my recycling bin as soon as possible.


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