Rating: Summary: Great book for the NEEDY, and that's just not that bad! Review: It's important to note that ALL those women who criticize this book and claim that they can sustain a loving relationship with a man without being a pre-feminist Rules Girl already perform about 75% of the RULES. That's the reason why they've had fairly successful love lives, or love lives at all. They didn't have to read this book in order to know that following certain guidelines while dating helped a man desire them more, respect them more, and helped women respect themselves more. They already had the attitude and self-esteem necessary to perform some of these rules without even thinking. But some of us ladies need a little help in that area!Alright, so the book is sort of badly written, and not all of the rules can be taken very seriously. Every woman should be following most of them when it comes to dating and that's the truth. These are things you've whispered over the dinner table with your girlfriends, when you haven't had a date in a LONG time, or when you realize that the man you are dating is slowly getting disinterested. It looks pretty bad on paper, but trust me, there is truth to these rules. Some fine points to make about the poor quality of the written work... waiting a certain amount of time to have sex with a man, getting plastic surgery to fix your little flaws. These are highly personal choices that you shouldn't follow any hard fast rules for. Not having sex with a man too soon if you want the relationship to go anywhere is a given, but it should be totally your call on how soon is too soon. And "doing the best you can with what you have..." doesn't seem to support the advice to get plastic surgery to fix your flaws if that's what makes you feel better, although it does depend on just how bad the flaw is. If you were born with three nipples, there's no way I can scream at you for wanting to change the body you were born with. But then, it's really none of my business either if you want to make your breasts smaller for cosmetic purposes. There's an incredibly fine line between what you're doing for yourself and what you're doing for the attention of a guy, and this book doesn't touch on that at all which is a crying shame and a huge reason for all the criticism. But remember, the writer's main job was to just write down what works! This book IS for "needy" women, as in women who need to know what they're doing wrong in their relationships and why their love life seems to suck! Men are not going to honestly tell us what they want for fear of sounding like jerks! They just leave it for us to figure out for ourselves since we'll probably react to their honesty with horror. Women who know the secret don't want to be ridiculed by OTHER WOMEN about their "old fashioned" dating techniques, so they keep it hush-hush too. I'm glad that such an honest book has come out about the subject, no matter how poorly written. "Being yourself" is okay... if you're one of those women who have what it takes to naturally get and keep a man! (And like I said, they're following some of these "pre-feminist" rules already, and that is who they are. They are actually "being themselves"!) Otherwise, "being yourself" will keep you BY YOURSELF. Honestly girls, The Rules are not PURE hogwash. And the fact is you can follow them and still have "girl power".
Rating: Summary: A grain of truth and an ocean of humor Review: This book is very entertaining but shouldn't be taken as seriously as many seem to view it. There are truths in the book simply because men are hunters by nature and when women act as the hunted the men will chase. You are pretending to be a rules girl and will get a rules man but be sure that is the kind of man you wanted to catch.
Rating: Summary: A book for superficial gold diggers! Review: As a woman, I found this book to be totally ridiculous. It's basically a how-to guide for those women who are either weak, superficial, gold diggers, feel they need a man to be complete, or all of the above. Just look at how one reviewer described her fiance': a gorgeous, successful doctor.
Rating: Summary: Crappy Grammar, Good Ideas, Controversy a Go-Go Review: I bought this book several years ago because of the unbelievable hype. Since so many people referenced (or better said, "panned") this book, I was curious. On one hand, this book lived up to its rather poor expectations. The quality of the writing was fair. (The grammar, in particular, left much to be desired.) Some of the points it made were a little heavy-handed and/or preposterous. (For example, it said that a woman should, at the start of a relationship, never offer to pay for *anything*. I would never do that!) On the other hand, the book encouraged women to reclaim self respect and "be a creature unlike any other" (i.e. understand their own mystery and beauty). I, a feminist, closely resonated with this idea. Along this vein, it gave women a bunch of hints on how to respect themselves and not pander to the whims of a man -- no matter how good he seems. For example, the authors insist that a woman should never cancel plans with her girlfriends to go out with a man. (No one can dispute that sage advice like that.) The authors insist that you must strictly adhere to every single rule for the book to work for you. I disagree. I think every woman can benefit by encorporating one or several of the authors' rules into their relationships. (Note about the word "relationships" -- the authors suggest that married women also use "The Rules.") Overall: I liked it but I don't think it's the definitive book on love. (Come to think of it, can there *ever* be a definitive book on love?) However, if you've ever been victim of a bad relationship or just need a little encouragement, this is a worthy read, as it can give you some useful and self-affirming tips. Special Note: Since this book is somewhat controversial, you may want to get a book cover if carrying it around with you. I was the recipient of more than one nasty stare and unsolicited comment when reading my copy.
Rating: Summary: Love is not a game Review: A born romantic,I approached this book with much worry. What have us human beings come to ,relying on rules to get us through our love lives. Love is the most natural emotion in the world. It is free and should happen freely not forcefully. I imagine a lot of people have emerged after reading this,and putting these so called Rules into practice,Love finds us ,we shouldnt go looking for it and if you cant fall in love with someone naturally and be yourself,then its a book on self-esteem you should be reading.Sure I have suffered unbelievable heart ache but it helps grow stronger.I dont have to think when Im in love, I dont have to worry whether its ok to call my boyfriend at three o clock in the morning to tell him I think Im falling for him,cause if thats what I have to do so be it and damn the consequences.Sure this book is good if your feeling bitter and broken hearted but no book in the world is gonna save you from that anyway.
Rating: Summary: i'll pass my copy on to my daughter! Review: all women should have a copy of this book. i wish i had been a little wiser and bought it when it first came out. my teenage years would have been MUCH easier and happier. notice that most of the negative reviews of this book are from men. men swear up and down that they hate the rules, but they seem to love it when the rules are done on them! this book has done wonders for my self esteem. if you read the rules and abide by them, you will NOT be letting yourself down. feminists claim this book is horribly demeaning to women and sets us back 50 years. i think it's quite the contrary. with the rules, i get the respect i deserve. i don't get my heart trampled and abused. like i said, all women should own a copy.
Rating: Summary: 90% Review: I really like this book. I'm 22 years old, & the fact that I've never been dumped or even hurt is for a REASON. I am known for my self-assurance & self-respect. I have very much a "take it or leave it" philosophy when it comes to dating - and it's made me nothing but happy in my romantic life. I didn't even know about this book until about 2-3 years ago. When I read it, I thought "Wow! This goes along with so much of what I do!" I do periodically return a man's calls if I feel the relationship is serious & is going somewhere. Otherwise, I have so many better things to do. If a man doesn't ask me out, then he's simply not interested - I don't buy into that "Oh, he's just shy" garbage. "Shy" is a euphemism for "DISINTERESTED." If a man doesn't call you, there's a reason. Period! The main parts in this book that I don't agree with are: 1.) Sleeping with a man after 3 months of dating - but before marriage. This is indeed my own personal choice, but if I'm going to let a man have my body, it's going to have to be after marriage. I don't want AIDS, pregnancy, VD, anything but a stellar reputation, or the possibility of being dumped afterward. Fortunately, I can say with absolute confidence that none of these things will ever happen to me. (-: 2.) The book condones shacking up before marriage as long as there's TALK of marriage. Talk or no talk, this is still shacking up. This book isn't 100% accurate, but it's definitely on the right track! For the record, I am engaged to a GORGEOUS, successful doctor whom I love to death, & I couldn't be happier!
Rating: Summary: Real permanet relationships are not a game Review: If you need this kind of game playing rules, that presuppose a situation, to create a relationship that you wish to be permanent, you will wind up disappointed and finish having abused your potential partner. Or maybe you can imagine the result if you told your potential partner of your rules when starting out. Would you like to be manipulated by the advice of women married to real woosies? More than likely a relationship growing form this lunacy will be completely one-sided and finish painfully for all.
Rating: Summary: You may not like it, but it's true Review: I first read The Rules about a year ago, just out of curiousity, and like many other people was laughing out loud at how ridiculous and extremely out-dated they seemed. But then I started thinking about my past relationships. The very few times I've ever been "hurt" were the times that I broke The Rules and cared more about the guy than he did about me. The majority of the times, by unknowingly being "Rules-y" I spared myself a lot of grief and just moved on. So I re-read the book and decided they were truly on to something. A year later, I'm more sure of this than ever. People get too caught up in the details of this book and overlook the overall theme which is all about self-respect. This book shows you how to behave so that you don't put yourself in positions where you're compromising yourself. Of course this book is marriage focused, and they state from the start that it's not a book for someone who just wants to date casually, but overall I think it shows you how to find these relationships in a healthy way. It tells you not to get so caught up in a relationship that you completely lose yourself. I don't see how anyone could say that that's bad advice. Granted, if you read it all too literally it seems ridiculous, but I think that most women with half a brain will be able to figure out that these are guidelines, not the word of law. You use them as you see fit, and by using them you can make yourself happier, not by snaring a guy, but by being secure enough that you don't end up feeling as emotionally needy and pathetic as you do when you give too much of yourself too soon. As far as all the criticisms go, I don't think that a lot of the people read the book with an open mind, and/or tried them out at all. Because as out-dated as they seem, they do work. They've worked for hundreds of years, and regardless of the social changes of the past couple of generations, human beings, the bio-psycho-sociological nature of humans, and the drives that motivate us haven't changed at all. (Additionally, I personally don't think men should comment on The Rules at all, because if a girl is doing them "right" the guy has no idea. Women and men are just too different for men to understand. I actually had one guy tell me on a date that he was glad I wasn't a Rules Girl, and I'm the biggest RG I know!) All in all, The Rules are very counterintuitive for some people, and natural for others, and it varies so much from person to person that I say, if you're looking for a serious relationship, give it a try. You have nothing to lose, and may gain confidence and self-respect in the process.
Rating: Summary: mind games are not for me Review: Maybe I was raised in the wrong decade, but this book seemed pretty ridiculous to me. Not only did The Rules seem old fashioned and impassive, I didn't appreciate the brain-washing qualities included. Namely, if you don't do the Rules, you will not only never get a man, and if you do, he'll suck. I completely agree with some of the things, such as waiting for sex or taking care of yourself. But I didn't like all the spiels about not being yourself and keeping your mouth shut. "If he's serious, don't be funny." etc. etc. If I follow the Rules, I'll get a man, alright. But will I get the kind of man I really want? He may adore me, but that's not all that matters. Pretending to be someone you're not and commanding respect are two different things. The underlying premise of this book seems to be, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", or that men will ONLY find you interesting if you let on nothing. But why buy the cow that plays mind games and pretends it doesn't even have milk? I think the only women who truly need the Rules are the ones who are desperate and needy to begin with. I don't follow the Rules, but that doesn't mean I'm calling guys constantly, asking men out, spilling my guts to near-strangers or talking about the "future" on third dates. Normal, well-adjusted women don't do these things anyway, rules or not.
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