Trapped in the Mirror

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Summary: Trapped in the Mirror
Review: This book was informative and shed a lot of (very disturbing) light on what it is like to be raised by a narcissistic parent. I could relate to the plights of many of the people that Elan interviewed. The one BIG distracting factor of the book, however, was that it seems that no one did any editing. The voice jumped from first person to third person and back again. The tone of the book flip flopped around from clinical explanations to personal accounts to some sort of fantasy fairytale style that I could not follow at all. For this reason, I had to read many passages a couple times just to try and decipher what Elan was really trying to say. All in all it was informational but very painful to read.

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Summary: At the Root of the Tree
Review: Two people will not like this book: the first is the narcissist himself who does not want to have his illusions shattered. The second is the adult child of the narcissist who is not ready to lay the axe to the root of the tree and have his own illusions of the notion of parental benevolence finally and freeingly destroyed. All other sane people will see the objectivity and clarity in this incredible and ground-breaking work. Allow the author to be as impassioned as required, and you will find transforming power in these pages. Power to free yourself from the snare of the fowler who lurks in the mirror.

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Summary: Powerful Healing
Review: Most scholarly and popular literature on the subject offers intellectual understanding; this book reaches a deeper place. It validated thoughts and feelings I could barely give voice to. The author describes with knowing psychological precision how pathological narcissism and its mirror-image problems, excessive self-sacrifice and paralyzing self-doubt, are passed on in families through an unhealthy interpersonal environment. She openly discusses her own struggles with narcissistic issues; it is the strength and insight born of this struggle that give this book its profound emotional resonance.

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Summary: Great title, disappointing content
Review: I'm very well-read in the psychologic literature, and have a father and a brother who are classic narcissists. The author describes them well, but doesn't distinguish between parental influence and genetic traits---i.e., my brother is just like my father, I am just like my mother. Also, sadly, the author herself is clearly a narcissist herself...there is so much self-centeredness, grandiosity, and quickness to take offense at small things......My advice: skip this book and keep searching!

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Summary: One of the two very best books on this subject
Review: This is a heart-wrenching book for those of us who were raised by a narcissistic parent. It is well-written and brilliantly details the seductive glamour and all-too-real nightmares of such families. The other book I would highly recommend is IF YOU HAD CONTROLLING PARENTS. It covers much of the same ground from a different but just-as-compelling perspective.

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Summary: A penetrating, lifechanging opportunity
Review: Trapped in the Mirror is a well-written expose' of the inner turmoil, devastation and confusion caused by the narcissistic parent or family. It is a must read for those dedicated to their personal growth or the development of an authentic self. Written in uncomplicated language, without psychobabble, it would be a quick read, were it not for the joy and pain of dawning awareness. Best read once for clarifying and strengthening your sense of self, and then again to challenge your own narcissism and how it affects your mate and offspring.

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Summary: Helpful, but not hopeful
Review: I agree with another reviewer that while the material is very illuminating, the author offers little in the way of solutions. I ended up feeling kind of hopeless after reading it, like "Well, here is where you are, good luck getting yourself out of it". It is also noteworthy that the author, herself the child of narcissists, saw no value in anyone's recovery but her own, as her examples pointed out time and time again. These kinds of 'narcissistic comparisons' are further examples of the problem, in my view. An interesting primer, but it will only take you part of the way.

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Summary: I finally understand!
Review: This book was the answer to my questions, my anger, and my resentment towards my narcissistic mother. For years I beat myself up, thinking that there was some way I could make her love me more. I thought it was up to me. "Trapped in the Mirror" was a very well-written account of many people's struggles and the common threads of emotions we all go through as "victims". I am no longer a victim after reading this book. I understand my mom better because I know where she is coming from. I also know how to spot a narcissist and keep my distance! Very empowering!

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Summary: This book will help open your eyes to your private pain
Review: A psychologist recommended this book after being forced to end a twenty year relationship with a narcistic in-law. This book explains in human terms how we slowly give our power over to people who, by their nature, can never be happy. So narrow is their world that no one can stand in it beside them. Golomb explains through case studies, that this is a real and enormous problem, many the reader will relate to in their own life. While I felt a stronger editor could have helped bring out the later chapters on 'what to do', this is still an excellent primer. It certainly lifted a illusionary but powerful guilt from my shoulders.

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Summary: Tells it like it is and like it was.
Review: After many painful years in therapy, I am free from the devastating effects of being the child of a narcissistic mother. This book is full of the truths which can be so difficult to explain to others. I didn't love it totally, but there is so much truth and insight, it deserves a reading.