Rating: 
Summary: Cannot recommend
Review: I was so disgusted by the author's blatant hatred of her parents that it immediately turned me off. I can only agree with the other negative reviews. There are a few good insights but don't waste any money on this book!
Rating: 
Summary: Trapped In The Mirror
Review: Elan Golomb has written one of the best books I have yet to read on parental narcissism. Telling one's OWN story takes courage..and this book was her defining moment in breaking the bonds of narcissism in her own family.
The fact that she was able to get past the professional role of clinical psychologist and share herself with us was to me very inspiring.
Golomb deals with the depression which haunts survivors and explains in the final chapter how it all comes together when the survivor finds, through being present, that she can become aware of the negative internal voice (introject) and learn to turn that into a more positive interaction.
Rating:
Summary: Useless
Review: This is a really useless book about narcissism. There's no logic to its organizing principles -- mainly rather bloodless personal stories that lack enervating details. Really unhelpful and unenjoyable.
Rating:
Summary: frustrating book: keeps you longing
Review: Do not expect solutions offered in chapters with promising names as "How to develop a real sense of self", "How to find and heal yourself." There are none. Probably because the writer sadly hasn't arrived there herself yet. She doesn't deliver.
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This book explains what it is to have narcissistic parents. For those who already know through their own experiences; skip it, this book is stuck in the phase of description of the writer's own process and struggle. For some reason she doesn't see that readers have been there theirselves, and don't need her story 238 pages long.
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Ironically this book keeps you in a longing state that children of Narcissists are already used too. Longing for information about what she'll bring to the table but fails to explain.
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For example: she'll state "Narcissistic torture feeds the introject." Okay, how does that work, and what to do? She'll tell you by going into great detail about one of her own very depressing experiences time after time, using much space, without getting back to or adressing the original point. By doing this the original point becomes a mere excuse, and the reason for telling all these personal (much to detailed) stories the books' real focus.
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And that's how you will have to understand narcissism: through her experiences, finding crumbs here and there you can relate to. Frustrating. What's the real motive for writing this book?
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Her own stories are so prominent and on a center stage, that sometimes you wonder why she didn't write a novel/autobiography so she could work out her own issues first before trying to help others. She lacks distance.
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I wish I could send the book back, but I had already written my name in it. I'm really sorry having to say that the book is the true product of a narcissist. You are caught in her mirror.
It's really sad and I hope the writers will read all these reviews because they present a valuable mirror. LL
Rating:
Summary: Mainly about Elan Golomb and her "friends"
Review: This book is very badly writen. It reads more like a first draft of an undergraduate psychology paper than a full treatment of a topic by someone with a Ph.D. Any textbook on the topic of personality disorders would actually be more helpful as an overview. I also find it strange that a psychotherapist with thirty years of private practice would spend so much time on her own story and that of her friends. It would have been more hlepful to have heard about the experiences of a larger number of people, preferably people other than Ms. Golomb's friends. (It seems it would have been much easier for her to have provided a more balanced view of people with whom she had a more professional relationship.) Finally, I agree with other reviewers that there is no hope given in this book. Children of narcissists are portrayed as being mainly beyond hope. Even the author, with her training in psychoanalysis seems to still be lost and blind to her own narcissism.
Rating:
Summary: There Are Better Books On Parental Narcissism
Review: The author herself is the victim of parental narcissism, and so she wrote a book about this very destructive form of emotional abuse, ostensibly to help other victims. But, it's really a vehicle to talk specifically about herself and her own experiences. Very little of it is useful to a wider audience. She claims to be a healed child of narcissistic parents; odd that she spends so much time talking about herself. This book may work as a very basic introduction to the topic for some, but if you're serious about getting some help, get "Children of the Self-Absorbed" instead. It has much wider-ranging and more practical advice than this one does.
Rating: 
Summary: Moderately helpful at best
Review: While several of Dr. Golomb's stories illuminate a great deal about the narcissistic condition and about being the child of a narcissist, the book's biggest weakness is that it fails to present examples of healing. We are treated to portrait after portrait of the suffering of narcissists' children and their general inability to get any kind of a constructive grip on themselves, but we do not see any evidence that they will ever be better, nor is there much evidence that psychotherapy (or anything else) will really help anyone in this situation. The book also suffers throughout from being badly written. Dr. Golomb's phrasing is clumsy and her word choice frequently poor. Her use of profanity, while rare, is never appropriate to the situation for which she employs it. Finally, I should note that Dr. Golomb's own narcissism is too frequently, if perhaps bravely, on display in these pages. While she explicitly states that she is aware of the legacy left her by her father, it nonetheless might have been better to try and weed it out of the book---I was left with the sense that every person portrayed in the book (and not just the victim children) was being subjected to a sort of unkind, hypercritical scrutiny. It left me feeling faintly ill, actually.
Rating:
Summary: Physician heal thyself?
Review: This book starts off well with a very good description of the mindset of the narcissist and the devasting effects this personality disorder has on children of narcissists. But the author, herself, has not healed from her own childhood wounds and the reader is left with the rambling rantings of a hurt child. One of the hallmarks of all personality disorders is anger, shame and the inability to "let it go". By that definition, the author is still afflicted with her own personality disorder and if you read this book you will feel her pain. I empathize with her pain, but I am left confused as to how this painful semi-autobiographical account will help adult children of narcissists recover from their own childhood wounds, heal and themselves learn how to let go of the anger and shame and loss of identity they felt as they were growing up. My fear is that people will read this book and take on the role of victim, much like the author, which only serves to increase the pain. This is not a book to read if you are truly interested in recovery.
Rating:
Summary: If you only read one book on this subject, this is the one
Review: Whether you know that one or both parents are narcissists, or you are just looking for some explanation of why you're in emotional pain, this is a very worthwhile read. Much of what is in this book would be helpful to anyone in a painful relationship, not just the children of known narcissists. And if you think that you have "dealt" with your childhood, and you are just fine, read it anyway, you may be surprised to see how much you still carry with you. Much of what I had read about narcissism in the past focuses on the more extreme manifestations of these traits. In many other descriptions, lists, and books about narcissism, the information is presented in such a way that the reader can easily reject the information as not applicable to them or the people they are trying to figure out. They may come away from that material thinking that their parent(s), or someone they know and/or love isn't a narcissist, because they don't have ALL the traits. But "Trapped In The Mirror" isn't written that way. It points out that there are many degrees and manifestations of narcissism. It does this with a great deal of compassion, wit, and honesty. Elan Golomb touches the heart of those of us who are suffering and can't figure out why. With great understanding of how this subject has affected her own life, she shows us what narcissism is, and that we can extricate ourselves from the clutches of the ever-disappointed parent. Whether your parent(s) are still alive, or still in your life, does not matter. They live on in the way you think about yourself. Ms. Golomb shows us that there is a way to find our true selves, and to learn to quiet the nagging critical voice in our heads. I guarantee that you will understand what years of therapy may not have helped you understand. If you were either not "allowed" to be yourself, express your true feelings, show any faults, or you felt/feel that you can never quite please your parents, you owe it to yourself to read this book. If you were pressured into being something your parents wanted you to be; if you have ever felt that if you could just figure out what they wanted and do it, your parents would love and accept you; if you feel that despite outer evidence of success, you are miserable, or feel like a fake; if you find that the partners you choose keep morphing into someone who treats you the way a parent did; or you find you are unable to tolerate relationship(s), commitment, or emotional intimacy at all; then you owe it to yourself to read this book.
Rating: 
Summary: grown child of narcissist mother
Review: This book and the Pressman book on the same subject have been an invaluable support to me. Although this book and the one by Stephanie Pressman tackle the subject in different ways: Golumb uses mostly case studies, Pressman describes the dynamics of a narcissistic family, they compliment each other, and I would recommend buying both books. In her book, Trapped in the Mirror, Elan Golumb occassionally gives too much detail about her own situation and she also is a little loose with bad language. In my view, these are minor flaws that are obscured by good writing, many examples of different narcissistic people, and psychological explanations for both the parent's behavior and the child's response. Her willingness to describe her own difficulty in escaping the script between her and her father, was helpful. Ways to manage the narcissistic parent would have made the book more complete.
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