Rating: 
Summary: Mixed bag
Review: As a child of narcissistic parents, I found myself and my experience time and again on the pages of this book. While I wasn't impressed by Golomb's writing style, I was excited and amazed every time I picked up the book to learn the reasons for many of my reactions and responses in life. I found her descriptions of the effects of narcissism on children to be much more interesting than the individual case histories. Best of all, just reading about the effects of narcissism helped me conquer some situational fears that had been plaguing me for a long time. Seeing the pathology of having had narcissistic parents described in this book empowered me! I highly recommend this book.
Rating: 
Summary: Overall good
Review: The first couple of chapters of this book are truly breathtaking, especially if you are a child of narcissists and didn't yet know that the particular type of abuse you suffered had a name. A friend of mine recommended this book to me a year ago, with the promise that it would "change my life." It has not disappointed. However, I felt the book rattled on a bit and got too autobiographical towards the end. In fact, there was something almost--dare I say--narcissistic about how often the author would remind the reader of how important it was to her personally to be writing this book. An immensely helpful book, but readers would be better advised to use the book as a complement to therapy, rather than a substitute for it.
Rating: 
Summary: Very helpful and validating
Review: I thoroughly enjoyed reading E. Golombs book being the daughter of a narcissist mother and father. I have read almost every writing and book on Narcissism that amazon and the web have to offer and I was never bored of Golombs insights which were many. I would put this book in my top 2. There were good examples and short stories of concepts and traits typical of children of N's. I related to her experiences whether it was traveling through Asia, or her frightening stay in a hospital against her will. This was the book my therapist recommended. It was real, to the point, and gives constructive helpful information in the last chapter to help those children of N's overcome their destructive parenting. I especially liked chapter 10 "The child of a narcissist becomes a narcissist" "Alan". There were many examples of children of Narcissists with varying personalities and lifestyles. Unfortunately there is no validation from the author if you have chosen to leave your relationship from a destructive abusive parent. If you are looking for this you won't find it in her book.
Rating:
Summary: Unbeleivably precise description, not very helpful in healin
Review: Trapped in the mirror is a book that describes Narcissistic behavior to a TEE. It also describes the perceptions that children of Narcissists struggle with each day. The problem is in the healing. Elan Golomb focuses on conquering Narcissistic tendancies. She doesn't give any space for healing and crying from your past. "Feelings cannot be skipped; you get out of them by going through them." (Geneen Roth). "We must want to heal more than we are afraid to feel --- rage, grief, sorrow. We must want to heal more than we want anything or anyone else." (Geneen Roth). Three books that I recommend about healing and feelings are: Reclaiming your life by Jean Jenson, Facing the Wolf by Theresa Sheppard Alexander and The Narcissistic Family : Diagnosis and Treatment by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman, et al.
Rating:
Summary: A mostly useful book
Review: This book provides lots of examples of the ways in which growing up with narcissistic parents affects the child's entire life. Some of the anecdotes were entirely illuminating and helped me understand what my husband's life (with is narcissistic mother) has been like. This author explores lots of possible consequences, and how they can combine in one person. I liked her attention to the interactions of the various responses in a single case.However, I found the book to be weak in two areas. First, the book is ultimately pessimistic. The message seems to be "You can be better, but only a little better, and maybe the best you can hope for is to get to where you can see why you do the unhelpful things you do." Second, the book fails to address one of the results of being raised by a narcissist: lack of empathy. If a child does not learn this at a young age, it is difficult to acquire it later. In lots of her examples, you can see that some of the problems her cases have in their lives come from their stunted empathetic abilities, but she never mentions it. As a result, she never shows how addressing this might help shift the balance. And speaking as a person who lives with the child of a narcissist, the lack of empathy is one of the hardest things to deal with in such a person. It's hard, after 11 years, for me to remember that my husband has no genuine empathy. This was his legacy from his narcissistic mother, and I wish it had been addressed in this otherwise useful book.
Rating:
Summary: Not bad, but....
Review: I think Elan could have used some more examples of less obvious narcissistic behaviors - as most of her examples were borderline sociopaths! I am earning my doctoral in human behavior and my focus is in narcissistic behaviors. In my studies, a number of things have been unmasked to me. One of which is the purportedly massive number of cases of bad parenting in the United States. Sad, but so true and this is because of a number of societal problems (i.e. the disappearance of the middle class, divorce, teen pregnancy, drug/alcohol/tobacco abuse, egoist-parents). A frightening number of parents demand respect from their children long before their children are capable of delegating that of their own accord. If respect is forced, it's not respect - it's subjugated appeasement. Parents, DON'T CONFUSE THE TWO!!!!!
I won't tear into Elan's book too badly; I think she did okay. And I am certainly interested to know why people who posted criticisms were so abashed that someone would say such "negative" things about their parents. That's a little odd to me. Did they read this book for the fun of it?
Are they seeking validation for their own bad parents?
Or are they themselves bad parents, and someone suggested the book to them?
To me, it's a red flag that they have something to hide.
Rating: 
Summary: Spiteful, bitter, self-absorbed, and depressing
Review: Ms. Golomb's clearly lacks the capacity to see her parents in anything other than a negative light. If, as she says at one point, no one is black or white, why does she fail through 262 pages to demonstrate this with her parents, who, along with the author, are the primary characters of the book. The writing is mediocre; there is too little perspective; too little guidance; too much psychobabble; and the metaphors Ms. Golomb is fond of using more often than not are either confusing or utterly miss the mark. I'm glad this woman is not my therapist.
Rating:
Summary: Extremely Helpful Book
Review: I found this book as I was struggling with the sudden death of my mother. The extremely conflicted feelings I was having were confusing and upsetting to me and finding this book was a great relief. Elan Golomb's description of the narcissistic parent clarified for me why I had such mixed feelings about the loss of my mother. Children of narcissistic parents often doubt their own reality and this book helped me to trust my feelings and perceptions. As a result, I was able to complete my book "She Loved Me, She Loved Me Not: Adult Parent Loss After a Conflicted Relationship," in hopes of helping other adult children after the death of a narcissistic parent. Linda Converse, MSW
Rating:
Summary: Outstanding
Review: This book is a complete reflection of my life and my struggle to deal with it. I don't sense the negatively in the book that other reviewers have expressed. To me it is simply reality. One of the greatest moments in my life was when I woke up one day and the realization came to me that I did NOT have to strive to be perfect! Striving for perfection is debilitating! It is all laid out in this book. My sister found this book and gave it to me as a gift. I could not put it down. She recognized that the author describes the life we grew up with and still struggle with today. Elan Golomb does not presume to have all the answers, yet she makes good suggestions to get headed in the right direction.
Rating:
Summary: helpful for me
Review: the best part about this book is not that the author gives cookie-cutter answers to fix your life. she offers the experience she knows best, her own, as well as others she has dealt with, to give examples of the different effects of narcissistic parents. i am surprised to hear such angery reviews of this book when my experience with it has only been helpful. i admit that if narcissism is something you have already named and worked with, perhaps there are other books that may deal with it in a deeper manner. however, for someone like me, who is just beginning to understand and realize what has made me who i am today, this book has opened my eyes and given new depth to the feelings i have dealt with my whole life. while the author may not give the perfect answers for every question, she provides a means to a name for something i have not even realized as an aspect of my life until recently. i recommend this book for anyone who desires to look at their life through a new lens.
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