Rating:  Summary: A Must-Have. Highly Readable. Review: I was initially a little skeptical of a book that was a bit old, thinking it would be outdated, but I found this to be extremely relevant. Upon buying the book, I initially jumped to the games section, skipping over the details of Berne's theories. I was immediately struck with how many games I was unconsciously playing in both my relationship with my spouse and in my work life. With my spouse, I found the games "If It Weren't For You" and "Look How Hard I've Tried" to be hauntingly similar to some of our interactions. I've recently been analyzing my transactions with colleagues at work and noticed patterns that fit many of the games described here as well.
Berne's section on the theory behind games is fascinating. I recommend reading about some of the games first and then moving to the theories. By understanding the theories, you learn WHY you inevitably participate in these games. After I understood why I was being drawn into these patterns, I was able to understand my motives. And ultimately, after understanding my motives, I was able alter my actions and responses when needed.
Overall, I found this book to be very useful in understanding my relationships with people. It is refreshingly different than a lot of the self-help material out there. This book cuts right to the chase and gives you tools to live by. I highly recommend it. After reading this book, I also read What Do You Say After You Say Hello by Eric Berne as well as Scripts People Live by Claude Steiner.
Rating:  Summary: A Roadmap for Avoiding Psychological Minefields Review: I'm lucky to have been introduced to this book as a teenager by my father. I've had it on my shelf for reference all these years and never tire of it. I think what I like best about it is the humorous way that people's "games" are displayed. When embroiled in "impossible" relationships, it's always a relief to find the antithesis to the game so that I can quickly disentangle myself from neverending games -- with a clear conscience, knowing that once there's nobody else left to play with, the person will seek help (or new enablers). I've always enjoyed the description of what "T-shirt" people wear -- their slogan. This book, along with "Scripts People Live" is a treasure map for avoiding the minefields of people who might suck you in to sick games -- as well as avoiding becoming a prime player in any of them yourself! A must-have.
Rating:  Summary: Fascinating Book! Review: Many times in my life, I was placed in social situations that left me feeling so depleted afterwards and I could not exactly grasp why this was happening. When I read this book, I started to understand how many people play these games that end up making me feel used and hopeless. After a year or so, I also began realizing that I play some of these games myself. I realized that although they work as temporary coping devices, they become obstacles to my personal development in the long run. This is when I really decided to change my life. I began living with a new awareness of the behaviors of not only others but my own as well! It has worked wonders and if I could explain this process, I would like to share it with everyone! But since I am not so good at explaining these things, I will suggest a book that explains this very well. It is called "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato and it explains all of these things in such a great way! Read this book by Berne! Read the book by Sato! It will be the best gift you give to yourself!
Rating:  Summary: Intellectually stimulating Review: Not a book for casual reading. It doesn't talk about general human follies. Rather it is a very deep insight into ourselves, and if you read the book very very carefully, you might even get some hints as to why we are all here, and why we keep playing these 'games'.
Rating:  Summary: A new way to look at old behavior Review: This book is Eric Berne's popularization of Transactional Analysis, the approach to understanding and treating realtionship disorders that he largely developed. Whatever its efficacy as a form of therapy, it is a fascinating way to veiw ordinary human interactions. I first read this book more than two decades ago and have gone back to reread portions of it ever since. While Berne's categorizations of pastimes and games seems somewhat skimpy (after all, behavior is infinitly richer than any theory can easily handle) the basic assumptions of Transactional Analysis provide a new way of understanding much that people do that otherwise seems either meaningless or baffeling. It is a real contribution to understanding ourselves. My life is not 'game free' but at least I recognize more of the games I play, and am less likely to mistake their arbitrary rules for life and death imperatives. Definitly worth reading for anyone who values self examination.
Rating:  Summary: All right but not super... Review: This book is pretty interesting and can actually be funny at times but it seems more like a mannual or a textbook than something one would read in one's leisure time. It explains the various mind games people play but doesn't help us use this information at all. It can also be rather dry and technical at times and seems to be written from a therapist's point of view for other budding therapists. So if you're hoping to read this as a layman and hope to use its contents to handle people better, you may want to think again.
Rating:  Summary: A Classic for Insight into Human Relations Review: This book is still in print for a reason -- it is one of the great and enduring classics of 20th century psychology. Berne synthesized aspects of role theory of action and depth psychology of motivation. I recently read a positive description of Berne's insight in the new book Liars, Lovers, & Heroes, which adds the new brain science into the mix in an interesting way. Berne is still influential in psychology, and still helpful in one's daily life.
Rating:  Summary: An eye-opener Review: This is by far the best book out that explains why people do the things that they do throught the use of games. It helps one to understand why some one would act in certain ways and in different situations throught games in which each has a certain covert payoffs. This book presents one of the best theories in psychology to date.
Rating:  Summary: One of the best books of relationships Review: This is one of the best books on relationships. After you read this, you will understand what is really going on in human interaction. It will make you see people and the way they behave in a totally new way. This book has helped me deal with other people so much better (both with my family and work)! I absolutely recommend it to anyone interested in understanding relationships. I recently also came across a book that deals with this issue that makes even more sense! It is called "Rhythm, Relationships, and Transcendence" by Toru Sato. It is superb! I gave it to my friends and they all loved it too!
Rating:  Summary: Not what you'd expect, perhaps Review: When I finished this book, my immediate reaction was one of disappointment. It attempts to treat its subject more scientifically than is practical -- sometimes the "players" are identified, and sometimes they are not, sometimes the game has an antithesis and sometimes it does not. Berne would like to pretend that all of the games are structurally analogous, but it becomes clear that this is simply not so. Interestingly enough, though, disappointment though it was, I don't regret reading this book one bit. I started to see some of these games going on around me, and I was able to identify other games that weren't mentioned in the book. The whole book reinforces an important concept -- that people can act and interact for reasons that have nothing to do with their own happiness. Read the book and you'll understand, though perhaps not right away.
|