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Summary: What a 'great' book!
Review: I have read a number of books that deal with learning how to deal with others in our lives, but none as well written as this one! Maybe it's the words she choses to use to describe what's really happening--that we are literally being 'blackmailed' by someone, to do something that we're not feeling so good about. The first half or so of the book, she talks about what's happening and how to recognize it and then in the second half, she teaches one the skills needed in order to bring back sanity to your life. I just finished reading it through the first time with lots of underlinings, and now will go through again, with more underlinings and to study it in depth. Trust me, if you're feeling whipped in your life, this book will help get you to the other side.
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Summary: Great
Review: I love this book. Bought it by accident. But I can honestly say that this book is brilliant, amazing and absolutely useful. Thank you for writing it. You are a very talanted author. Thanks again
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Summary: Helped me get out of a very difficult relationship
Review: I picked this book up on a whim and I'm really glad I did. I've been trying to break up with someone for 2 years. Every time I'd say "I've had enough and I don't want to be in the relationship with you any more," this person, who is a black-belt at emotional blackmail, would use fear/obligation/guilt to get me to stay. I had made up my mind to really end the relationship, but I'm sure glad I read this book before hand. It's a quick read, and the tools I read about helped me enormously as this person pulled out all the stops to get me to change my mind.
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Summary: To put a term to my relationship gave me relief
Review: I read Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them. I am in the middle of an awful divorce. This book gave me a great sense of relief. It described my marriage to the tee. It has also helped me to put his behaviors and mine in perspetive so I am no longer in such a state of fear. I will say, the title is a turn off, but the content is a life saver. I know I will survive no matter what he does to me and no matter how much he emotionally blackmails me.
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Summary: This book describes my mother almost to the letter.
Review: I read this book in one day, and it gave me tremendous insight into my present relationship with my mother, who is a controlling person. This book explained why and how she is able to get to me, and gives clear solutions for dealing with emotional blackmail in any relationship - family, social ar work-related. I agree with a previous reviewer that it is written in a style that any 'lay' person will understand. Thank you Susan!
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Summary: Applied to me not her
Review: I recently read this book because my ex-wife had read it before our divorce and accused me of emotional blackmail. In fact, I discovered that I was the victim of emotional blackmail not her. In spite of many years of attempting to please her, she was the demanding and manipulative one. It identified many problems in her relationship with me. This is a great book for men in relationships with controlling and unappreciative women.
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Summary: RISE ABOVE YOUR RAISING - HOSTAGE NO LONGER
Review: I strongly recommend this book for anyone seeking to find help with mood disorders, any type of addiction, identity issues, self-esteem issues, reoccurring unresolved anger and troubling relationship issues. Excellent compliments to this book are: The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro and Ronald Cohen; Treating Attachment Disorders: From Theory to Therapy by Karl Heinz Brisch and Kenneth Kronenberg; Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man by Scott Wetzler; The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert Pressman; Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson; Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents by Nina Brown; Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job by Alan Cavaiola and Neil Lavender. And if you want to pursue the subject even further, you may be interested in reading The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple: A Psychoanalytic Perspective On Marital Treatment; Addicted to Unhappiness: Free yourself from the moods and behaviors that undermine relationships, work and the life you want by Martha Heineman Pieper and William Pieper; Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility by Jim Fay and Foster Cline.
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Summary: RISE ABOVE YOUR RAISING - HOSTAGE NO LONGER
Review: I strongly recommend this book for anyone seeking to find help with mood disorders, any type of addiction, identity issues, self-esteem issues, reoccurring unresolved anger and troubling relationship, boundary and trust issues. Excellent compliments to this book are: Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss and James Masterson; The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert Pressman; Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man by Scott Wetzler; The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro and Ronald Cohen; Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson; Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents by Nina Brown; Treating Attachment Disorders: From Theory to Therapy by Karl Heinz Brisch and Kenneth Kronenberg; Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job by Alan Cavaiola and Neil Lavender; ; Bully in Sight: How to Predict, Resist, Challenge and Combat Workplace Bullies by Tim Field. And if you want to pursue the subject even further, you may be interested in reading The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple: A Psychoanalytic Perspective On Marital Treatment; Sickened: The Memoir of a Munchausen by Proxy Childhood by Julie Gregory and Marc Feldman; Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility by Jim Fay and Foster Cline.
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Summary: Mommie the manipulator
Review: I think that Susan Forward must have interviewed my mother before she read the book. I never realized how cunning and manipulating she could be until I read this book, and that she was actually using the family as a weapon. She has told me that I am no longer part of the family until I get rid of my husband. I also have a beautiful 17-year old, whom she cares nothing about. The chapter about "fog" particularly applies to me. Thanks Susan, keep on writin' 'em.E-mail me if you have had a similar experience.Maryellen
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Summary: Downright quotable
Review: I was doing a little research at my local public library on the process of dying and its impacts on families, esp. children, when I happened across this book. The title immediately resonated with regard to a situation I'm tangentially involved in. I read a couple of pages and -had- to borrow it for my dear friend who is going through a messy ugly divorce after many many years of abuse and emotional blackmail. I was skeptical of the author, as I don't consider Forward's most popular book to be particularly good, but this book is outstanding.
My friend and I have been reading it together in bits and pieces, relying on chapter and section headings to navigate to the currently relevent part. It's often eerie how Forward's words precisely capture the words of his abuser.
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