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Summary: How does one identify a blackmailer?
Review: Although I found this book to contain some very good information, I believe it is somewhat leading.Almost everyone could fall into the category of being an emotional blackmailer or being the victim of such a person. In reading the material, search for the truth and not for identification. The author makes the point that, though blackmailers actually want to hold onto their victims, they attempt to devalue them, using information their targets willingly supply. At what point in the victim's life did he or she become vulnerable to being blackmailed? How did he or she become helpless against the people who use fear, obligation and guilt to manipulate them? The author shows how a process of change will enable victims to answer these questions and break free of the cycle. The ultimate goal is to learn to say, "no" without feeling guilty. This book is only a first step in a long journey. It told me that I should not assume something about others until I get to know myself. Before saying "no," I have to want to say, "no."
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Summary: Hopefully a cheap psychologist
Review: Although I have no immediate need for this book (this will probably change in the future), the title of this work alone caught my eye. Always forced into the middle of arguments over nothing between my brother and his wife, it has become apparent in a brief period of time that their relationship is in serious trouble. Tired of these inane scenarios becoming MY fault (and somehow they do), this book has become a last-ditch effort for knowledge and understanding to take control. I personally enjoyed the work, and I hope my brother recognizes what type of person he has involved himself with. I hope the same for his wife. May I also recommend "Toxic People" by Lillian Glass, Ph.D.
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Summary: Don't buy into the blackmail
Review: Don't be a blackmailer and don't buy into the blackmail. Learn to recognize your own triggers and disconnect. Even if you don't have a pattern of emotional blackmail you can learn to recognize behaviors in yourself that are like blackmail. This is a valuable book for disconnecting from people pushing your hot buttons.
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Summary: Friend, lover, buddy, spouse, or relative??
Review: Excellent, thorough, complete, and powerful review of people who seek personal gain at the expense of others around them. We know that these manipulators are not the innocent victims they pretend to be due to the elaborate nature of the stories they concoct and the facts they twist in order to win your trust. Then, when you are ripe for the kill, your feet are cut out from underneath you. Emotional blackmailers use their underhanded manipulation of your emotions to extract and blast away at you assigning all blame against you and your character. Susan Forward does a masterful job of exposing the emotional blackmailers' negative psyches, overbearing toxic personalities, and ultimate goals to extract. Her subchapter title "It's All About Them" says it all. Don't ever believe that you have something to gain by engaging in the company of these personality types.
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Summary: About time . . .
Review: For years I was satisfied just reading about other's experiences, not wanting to believe that my own were as bad. If you read books like "A Child Called It" or the bestseller "The Bark of the Dogwood," then you know what I'm talking about. But when I finally came around and admitted what I had been through, this was the book I sought out. This book allowed me to see that I can have control over my life. I had been pulled into some very difficult situations with my parents, and Dr. Forward allowed me to see that this didn't have to be the case anymore. Some of her techniques, such as non-defensive communication, were very difficult to put into practice. Something that was particularly important for me personally in the book was the part at the end where she talks about not emotionally blackmailing *yourself*! What an insight! It is impossible for an author to address every specific detail of every reader's personal situation. But this is as close as you can get. Forward gives stories and testimonials of people she has worked with who have used her techniques with success. Unlike other authors that do this, however, Forward does not simply apply the techniques to those situations and expect that you'll be able to apply it to a scenario of your own. She separates the stories from the guidelines. She provides some fantastic exercises for further clarity of the techniques she describes.
Rating: 
Summary: Good advice
Review: Forward provides useful analysis of the problem and helpful tips to help readers find their assertive selves. I use this a lot in my counseling work. Highly recommended.
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Summary: This book brings a lot of clarity !!!
Review: I am an emotional blackmailer, I just had no idea until I read this book. It was suggested to me by my soon to be ex- husband who couldn't take it anymore. I thought I was being strong and standing my ground and this book helped me to see that I was emotionally bullying other people. I beleived I was always right and no human being can be. It also helped me to see that it doesn't matter if you are wrong or right, making another person feel as if they must agree with you or they are "bad" is not OK. I was using the behaviors descibed in the book to protect myself from being hurt and have hurt sooooo many others in the process. If you're a person who always feels like a victim or have no idea why so many people don't like you when you think you're such a wonderful person READ IT!!!
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Summary: This one is worth commenting about
Review: I buy and read many books for which I do not write reviews. However, Dr. Forward has done such an amazing job with "Emotional Blackmail" that I must comment. In this book, she crystallizes the vague, nameless sense of unease that accompanies passive capitulation into solid terms so it can be analyed and dispensed with, provided one is willing to take the actions she suggests. Dr. Forward describes the attitudes and behaviors one must adopt to be rid of the feelings of helplessness and frustration that can arise from interactions with loved ones who resort to manipulation. She firmly places control back in the hands of those who feel overpowered by guilt and fear.
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Summary: This book was excellent.
Review: I enjoyed this book very much and learned a lot from it. I found it easy to understand, which some psychology books are not. It explained about the subject very clearly and offered
excellent ways to solve the problems when they
arise. I would like to read it again in a few months to make sure it really sinks in!
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Summary: Pearls of Wisdom for Everyone
Review: I have done a pretty thorough reading of books dealing with control, cults, emotional abuse, etc. I feel like I could write a thesis on this stuff by now. This was the best all around. I am a third party observing a loved one in a controlling relationship. There isn't a book out there that really addresses my situation, but I have gleaned wisdom from many. What I love about this book is that it gives very concrete strategies for dealing with controlling people. The strategies are very well laid out, lots of examples of phrases that neutralize the offender. As a therapist, she also addresses the discomfort many of us would likely encounter when trying to put these strategies into practice. In addition to the concrete information on strategies, she describes why it might be hard to recognize that you are in an unhealthy controlling situation and how to know for sure. She helps clarify the personal damage victims of control sustain. I have become much more aware of people in my life that may be using unhealthy methods of control and have used the advice to stop, think and strategize to help me. It even helped me become a little wiser to ploys of friends of my kids. This book shows us how to resolve unhealthy control without necessarily having to end the relationship. With these techniques everyone might just come out a winner.
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