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Summary: When I Say No I Feel Guilty
Review: I first read this book in 1980 and still use the techniques today. It literally saved my life then by giving me the tools to break free from a physically and emotionally abusive relationship. It's been my pleasure to continue to buy it as a gift for those with similar needs.
Rating:
Summary: excellent for dealing with others and insecurities
Review: I found this book to be excellent in helping me, making my own decisions about myself and not worring about how others felt about everything I did in my life, I found I don't have to account to anyone except myself and God for what I do with my life and how I handle it. I gave me the format to be able to tell people how I felt without feeling quilty about it. Even if I did have to repeat myself over and over.At this time of reading I was going through the fact that I just was diagnoised with breast cancer, and it helped me deal with myself and others especially family. Basically it help me accept it. Thank you for writing the book and me able to read it. Highly recommended.
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Summary: This book is helping me tremendously!
Review: I have read many books on human behavior, understanding manipulation, and even spent time in counseling to discover that I was passive. Well after going over the problem in counseling, I kept asking "ok, what is the solution?" Well, it seemed that we spent more time on the problem than on the solution. In fact I am not sure they had a solution. I started to read this book a few years ago and couldn't imagine that you do not have to give a reason or excuse for returning merchandise. I have applied the lessons in the book and have felt great! The broken record is working effectively for me - a solution! A method that works. I am practicing daily and recommend this book to anyone that has a difficult time saying "no". The key is to not just read it, do it.
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Summary: As up to date as when it first came out!
Review: I haven't checked the date when this book first came out, but I know it was over 25 years ago. And yet, it is still up to date and just as helpful as when I read it the first time.
Dr. Manuel Smith approaches assertiveness in a behavioral way, basing it on the Assertive Bill of Rights -- what each person can claim as his/her internal rights. He lists ten of these. Then he lists seven verbal techniques we can use to interact effectively with other people -- with special emphasis on dealing with people who try to get us to do things we don't want to do or to quit doing things we like to do.
This is not a book about controlling other people -- it's about self control. If we read it carefully and thoroughly process what it says, we also find that it has nothing to do with agression. It also doesn't "guarantee" that we'll always get what we want, but it does emphasize that we can often better the odds of either getting what we want or working out a compromise. And Dr. Smith points out that using the assertive verbal techniques in a sarcastic way is counter productive.
I was pleasantly surprised to find that it also helps deal with potential nasty social situations -- having your clothing, lifestyle or other personal matters insulted at parties (they're supposed to be FUN?)or other gatherings. As a somewhat sensitive person, I wish I could have read this book as a teenager.
But, it's never too late!
Rating:
Summary: Have fun developing "muscle"
Review: I hope Dr. Smith is living a long and healthy life. I discovered his book in the 70's when I needed to be more assertive, and have used it all these years with clients in my roles as organizational consultant and personal coach. I'm delighted to see it is still in print because it's a classic. Smith makes it so much fun to learn how to develop conversational "muscle." But don't let me push you around. Read it yourself and get stronger. It's great!
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Summary: Life Changing Results
Review: I purchased this book in order to learn to quickly recognize criticism and manipulation. I was always getting very defensive or extremely angry at criticism. It was my hope to learn how to not allow the biting words of others affect me so greatly. I was always devastated when someone disapproved of me. It was always important to me that everyone's opinion of me had to agree with mine, or I had to convince them of my opinion. While reading this book, I discovered that I was not always the one being criticised and manipulated. MY EXTREME DESIRED TO BE APPROVED OF MADE ME A CRITICISER AND MANIPULATOR ALSO. This huge character flaw of mine could explain why I have not been able to have a successful love relationship. This was truly an eye opening book for me. Thank you Mr. Manuel J. Smith.
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Summary: The Classic in its Field
Review: I read this book years ago when it was first published. I checked it out on Amazon to see if it is still in print because I recently mentioned it to a friend. I'm glad to see it is still around. The great thing about this book is that it is behaviorally oriented. It doesn't simply explain why you should not feel guilty, but rather it teaches concrete techniques which if practiced will allow you to assert yourself effectively. It will help you if you give it a chance. If you think you need assertiveness training, this book is the way to go.
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Summary: Great examples and tecniques for avoiding controlling people
Review: I read this several years ago and still use the tools he describes to stop people from controlling my actions. The book is both well written and usefull in day to day activities. I recommend it to anyone who needs to deal with controlling parents/bosses/siblings and take back control of their lives.
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Summary: Wonderful!
Review: I think thinking books like this would be burned by politicians and salesmen who don't want the public to be able to think for themselves. In philosophy, we use talk about the same things in psychology, except our names are a little different. This book helps me not feel guilty when I tell my boss I can't cover for someoneone or not even interested in buying something from a salesman. Many of those types of people: employers, employees, family members, businessmen and politicians use overgeneralizations and false arguments to manipulate you. Just be aware! This book will help you sharpen your skills to be able to spot those kinds of people out.
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Summary: Simple and effective tips for being more assertive
Review: I wish I had read this book a year (or more!) ago.
The methods are quite simple, yet effective in
stopping emotional manipulation and making others
be more assertive with you as well as improving your own ability to assert yourself.
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