Rating: 
Summary: Maybe There's a Little Male Bias?
Review: "Letting Go" is definitely worth reading, as it's obviously very helpful to lots of people. But as a sensitive and experienced woman who's been through heartbreak more than once, I found myself questioning some of the book's assertions and recommendations.I certainly agree with the reviewer from Middletown who flinched at the advice on page 63: "It's okay to have sex with somebody just because they're there and they're nice." Not only can that attitude lead to STDs and exploitation of the "nice" person, but it can be emotionally damaging to the heartbroken person. Certainly for women, casual sex while in the throes of an emotional crisis is usually a bad idea. This is just one example of what I suspect may be a bias toward men's experience in "Letting Go." References to "getting off" and 'scoring" don't sound like they're intended for female readers. There are also statements like, "Women usually depend on men for things like the illusion of emotional security, financial support, social respectability, general rescuing, and the opportunity to play the highly touted family game." Which century are the authors thinking of?! The authors also use male pronouns quite consistently, despite an introductory note announcing their intention to use non-sexist language. In general, I felt like"Letting Go" was not written with me in mind. I know that many of the techniques it suggests have been helpful to many women. But its language and attitudes really relate much more to men. (...)
Rating: 
Summary: Highly recommended
Review: As others have said, sometimes it feels like the authors must be reading my mind. It's so helpful to see in black and white exactly some of the thoughts going through my head and know that I'm not crazy, other people feel the same way. The advice is practical and realistic. They don't just tell you that certain thoughts and obsessions aren't healthy,they tell you HOW to go about making positive changes. They're also good at rooting out deeper explanations for why you're feeling certain emotions.
Rating: 
Summary: Very helpful ideas but shouldn't be the ONLY book you read
Review: First off, I'll agree with the recent reviewer that the book smacks of chauvinism. I kept checking during my reading of it to see whether it had been updated and indeed it is "fresh" from 1978. So I had to overlook those issues. I read MANY books to get over my separation from a long marriage - and then the loss of the next significant other. This was definitely one of the best for understanding that love CAN easily be an addiction to a person, in the mold of addiction to drugs, alcohol, etc. So the concept of behavior modification is really neat. Now, here is my reservation, and why it doesn't get a fifth star. I suspected (even in my puny, non-psychologist mind) that this book glossed over the grieving process. Behavior modification to "short-circuit" the lowest lows of despair, etc. And then my counselor confirmed that concern. So while behavior retraining might work, do you cover over grief that you're later going to have to deal with anyway? Isn't it better to plow through it and get it over with? That's probably why my last breakup was the worst - I ended up grieving (subconciously) for ALL previous losses because I had never worked through them. So take this book for its insight on how your love is an addiction amenable to change, but be careful about training to skip over your feelings. Read a book on grief over loss, in addition to this.
(most of all, if you are newly separated or divorced, first read "Crazy Time". Now that's what saved me in the darkest early period.)
Rating:
Summary: Very helpful ideas but shouldn't be the ONLY book you read
Review: First off, I'll agree with the recent reviewer that the book smacks of chauvinism. I kept checking during my reading of it to see whether it had been updated and indeed it is "fresh" from 1978. So I had to overlook those issues. I read MANY books to get over my separation from a long marriage - and then the loss of the next significant other. This was definitely one of the best for understanding that love CAN easily be an addiction to a person, in the mold of addiction to drugs, alcohol, etc. So the concept of behavior modification is really neat. Now, here is my reservation, and why it doesn't get a fifth star. I suspected (even in my puny, non-psychologist mind) that this book glossed over the grieving process. Behavior modification to "short-circuit" the lowest lows of despair, etc. And then my counselor confirmed that concern. So while behavior retraining might work, do you cover over grief that you're later going to have to deal with anyway? Isn't it better to plow through it and get it over with? That's probably why my last breakup was the worst - I ended up grieving (subconciously) for ALL previous losses because I had never worked through them. So take this book for its insight on how your love is an addiction amenable to change, but be careful about training to skip over your feelings. Read a book on grief over loss, in addition to this.
(most of all, if you are newly separated or divorced, first read "Crazy Time". Now that's what saved me in the darkest early period.)
Rating:
Summary: Time-tested advice.
Review: I found it extra-comforting to find out that the book was published in 1978, and in its 21st re-printing. The method that is laid out for kicking the love addiction were extrapolated from programs for kicking substance addictions that work. It's also nice to see that heartbreak is timeless when the book tells stories from the 1970s of heartbreak from people who were contemporaries of my parents. reeser
Age 25
Rating:
Summary: Time-tested advice.
Review: I found it extra-comforting to find out that the book was published in 1978, and in its 21st re-printing. The method that is laid out for kicking the love addiction were extrapolated from programs for kicking substance addictions that work. It's also nice to see that heartbreak is timeless when the book tells stories from the 1970s of heartbreak from people who were contemporaries of my parents. reeser
Age 25
Rating:
Summary: Reading this book will lift you out of the darkness...
Review: I have been using this book since 1988 to get me through the big break-ups in my life. If it wasn't for this book, things would have gone so much slower. My therapist gave me a copy and I have been buying copies ever since for friends as gifts. This is a must have reference book in this world. Help yourself out and ease the pan, believe me--this isn't your average crappy self-help book that gets you nowhere. There is so much humor and realness in this book--these authors understand the pain process and have made my life so much easier. I think everyone should have a copy of this book. Yes, I think that you should buy it, especially since nothing in this world is permanent and you must take care of yourself. There isn't another book that I have suggested more in the last 15 years, I just wish that I didn't have too.
Rating:
Summary: Help With Self Help
Review: I just bought this book and I am so angry---because I could have used it so much sooner! It has been four months and I am finally doing ok after a rancid, horrendous end to a four-cohabitating relationship. I am finally emerging from the betrayal induced depression and putting back on the 15 pounds that I violently threw up and now, I find this book, now! While it is still totally a phenomenal resource, it sure could have saved me so much heartache during the first few days-it would have calmed me down, brought me back to earth, assured me that everything I was experiencing was ok and that I was not going to die because there in the book was the evidence that I was not going to die from the searing pain in my chest...others had survived it and they were writing about it! It also would have given me some direction other than to the toilet and the bed. With this kind of break up one doesn't know which end is up and this book starts with ok, this is what you are feeling (I mean, it nails every feeling I experienced) and then gives you direction to break your addiction to the person, with instructions as simple as, "ok, put on your left sock first..."
Today, feeling as I have regained composure and feel level headed, the book is still extremely helpful, it is teaching me that being in love, is in fact being addicted to that loved one and I became so used to having my ex with me as a partner in life, someone to eat with, take care of me when I was sick, laugh with...blah, etc., blah...all the relationship stuff, well it is an addiction. So this book helps with this elusive addiction oh hell, it just helps. If you are in pain, this should help.
Rating:
Summary: Good Book with lots of help
Review: I read this book and thought it provided many answers. I would also recommend Confusing Love with Obsession by John D. Moore. It helps to get a different perspective.
Rating:
Summary: So you want to crank call him.......
Review: I read this book when I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years. Considering the book says it will take half of that time to overcome the relationship - I decided the book was worth reading because there was no way I was waiting another 3 years to get over this relationship. It was very easy to read - and as a woman - I did follow the steps. I would read the same chapter over again for that week if I felt weak and sometimes just to take up time so I wasn't watching bad tv that would make me think of "HIM". I put all the memories in a box, etc., as suggested in the book. After three months the book did help me, alot. The book makes you realize that you are normal and it is ok to have creepy fingers to crank call him and hang up. That it is ok to be angry and tell him that,and that it is ok to cry when you hear a song or look at his picture. Eventually, the book made me not want to call him or yell at him or tell him what I really thought of him. The book helps you to realize that you need to be good to yourself and get back in the game of life. After all - just because you had one bad apple doesn't mean that the whole bunch of apples are rotten.I would definately recommend!
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