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Summary: This book is a mental lifesaver
Review: I never knew the abuse I was living with until my family sent me the book. It took 3 months and another incredibly abusive cycle before I would pick it up to read. Once I did, I couldn't put it down - it was so wonderful to finally understand that what I was living with. The book is well-written in a non-confrontational, non-judgemental manner that still presented the facts very clearly. I would recommend it for anyone.
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Summary: Nice Try! - Your relationship should = The Earth & Squirrels
Review: Patricia Evans tries to tie all of "her" universal beliefs to individual relationships. She equates forces of nature and the relationship between earth and its inhabitants with the relationship between two individuals that can communicate.Her book only addresses one scenario (abusive husband, abused wife) in only one context (Reality I vs. Reality II) While I will agree that an abusive person does not just wake up one day and say, "oh my, see what I have done, I want to change." I think you have to say a person does not wake up one day and say "I want to be verbally abusive starting today!" I think if your life falls into the narrow scenario presented in this book, you can find value in reading it. If your scenario is at all different, then this book is a real stretch and most likely interesting but irrelevant.
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Summary: Solid Information, but.........
Review: First, let me say that Patricia Evans has put together a book which will undoubtedly help countless (female) readers to put their lives back together. Reading this book will give the abuse victim an immediate dose of healthy perspective. My complaint is that the book assumes, and addresses, only the traditional abuse scenario--the abusive man and the abused woman. While this book is very helpful to the victim of that specific relationship, it was of little help to me. If the author chooses to concentrate on that particular male/female situation, I would suggest she rename her book accordingly. There are plenty of guys who have suffered abuse, either by a parent or a female mate, who will be disappointed by the almost-sexist assumptions made in this book.
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Summary: Like Reading My Own Biography
Review: This is a great book. It is amazingly inlightening to read your own life story in a text book. As a man who for six years wondered why I was such a bad person, it is a relief to find out that her behavior is NOT normal and NOT ok. It is amazing how a person, man or woman, gets sucked into such a cycle of abuse. The book provides a roadmap for finding a way through it. The only negative about the book is the strong male-bashing tone. There is no relationship between physical size/strength and a person's ability to inflict emotional harm. A bit more balance might be in order.
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Summary: Validated At Last!
Review: I read this book after years of verbal and emotional abuse. I knew that my experiences were unhealthy for me and my children. However, I was unable to convince a faulted system of the same and eventually lost custody of my children to my abuser. The revelations of this book helped to validate my knowing that this man was abusing me psychologically, even though I had nothing to "show" for this. My broken spirit was somewhat mended by reading the book. It led me onto a road to recovery and an understanding of what I will never again tolerate in my life. I now have a clear list of "red flags" to help me in future relationships. There is no excuse for the behaviors described in this book and I learned to confront my abusers, to include several social workers, from reading this book. Thanks to Patricia for her clear and insightful book and also for it's sequel. Reading about the experiences of others who have gone before helped me as well.
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Summary: Hit the nail on the head
Review: Was lent to me at a Women's Refuge. Am now in a position of helping a fellow victim. Understanding and realizing the dynamics of such a relationship took the fear of ending it away, just like reading up on birth takes away the fear of birth complications. It was almost as if my ex-defacto had taken a script from every page. Most comforting was realizing I wasn't alone in my experience - hard to describe to friends who only see the bloke as "such a nice guy". Gave me the courage to go through with court proceedings pertaining to AVO's, parenting orders etc., resisting the temptation to go back, and successfully avoiding such relationships thereafter.
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Summary: Interesting but too pessimistic
Review: Interesting book, sucked me right in. However, I have a more positive approach towards life; I think people can grow, learn and change. Verbal abuse is just a sad expression of unmet needs. Exploring those needs might end the vicious circle. So, I think the book shows the world an people in too dark light.
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Summary: Excellent Resource
Review: This book was extremely well-written and to the point. It was so helpful to see the same behaviors I had observed documented in the book. The author not only describes verbal abuse but explains the typical perspective of both the abuser and the abused. Having an understanding of these perspectives is invaluable and key to understanding the dynamics of the verbally abusive relationship. Thankfully the author was not content to stop these, but went on to describe responses to the abuser that have been tested in real world situations. This book is an excellent resource to any person who feels that he or she is being verbally abused, friends, and those who care for the verbally abused in clinical situations. Very few people would allow themselves to be physically assaulted without finding methods of self-defense. Those who are verbally assaulted have every right to defend themselves. Now. If you believe that you are in a verbally abusive relationship, you probably are. There is nothing heroic about continuing to be emotionally beaten up. This book is the right place to start. Don't put it off.
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Summary: Verbally Abusive RElationship: How to Recognize it and How
Review: I felt that this book was my answer to prayer for the past 20 years! I have looked and looked for answers. I finally found my answers and this book when I searched "verbal abuse" on the internet. I will forever be grateful for the internet and Patricia Evan's web site that I was lead to. I hope to someday be able to help others with this information that I have searched out for so many years! I found the book to cover most areas that I was needing. Phyllis
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Summary: Finally, an answer!
Review: This book has had such a tremendous impact on me; like no other. I was involved with a man for 8 months. I could never figure out how to conquer the constant accusation by him that I was "too sensitive" when I got bothered by his subtle criticisms. I read all the books on how to change ME. Reading "Loving Him without Losing You" briefly discussed verbal abuse but it caught my eye. I broke off the relationship prior to reading this book, knowing these comments weren't "right". But what a relief to finally understand the WHY, instead of thinking it was me. Thank goodness for all these self-help books. If I didn't have the self-esteem I have fought to get back after having it knocked down as a child, I could have been a victim for a much longer time. ...This book should be mandatory for high school students. A must for every man and woman; heterosexual or homosexual. Patricia Evans should be commended!
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