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Summary: The Verbally Abusive Relationship
Review: This book is excellent. It is considered a handbook among women that have been abused. It is helpful in identifying, understanding and gives advice on how to respond to abuse. It is a must read if you suspect you are in an abusive relationship or if you know someone who is being abused.
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Summary: Eye opener for those in doubt!
Review: "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" is an excellent read for anyone who has the gnawing sensation that "soemthing just isn't right." It helped me label what was happening in my own relationship. This book is a powerful description and analyses what may be going on, or going wrong. It is clear and straight forward in its presentation. An excellent resource and guide to empowerment. Knowledge is power, labeling the abuse makes it much easier to understand ones own reactions and make clearer choices.
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Summary: This book is on the money!
Review: Two yrs ago, I bought this book and her other, "controlling people" which I didnt hide good enough and my husband threw out the latter. He is a cop. I am a 911 dispatcher and paramedic. Believe me when I say the stuff in the book is what I deal with in my job and unfortunately did at home as well. The book, coupled with her message board and the grace of others who were going thru the same thing opened my eyes, gave me strength and helped me get out of a very unhealthy relationship. That book was the key moment in my redefining my life. Verbal abuse starts the path to physical abuse, and sorry to say, its a man's world when it comes to that!!
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Summary: This book ended the "craziness" in my life
Review: Reading this book literally saved my life! I spend years believing that all the rages, anger and blaming were all due to me and my shortcoming. I begin to feel as if everything I did was wrong, how I dressed was wrong, how I thought and felt were wrong. Anything and everything could become a battle and it was always my fault, or so he said!!! I lived in a state of confusion, fear and my main goal in life was to "keep my abuser from getting angry." Living on eggshells in no way to live and you ultimately fail at it anyway...the rages and name calling always returned no matter what. My life felt out of control until a good friend recommended this book to me! This book saved me from years of continuing abuse and confusion as to why this was happening to me. It described the abuse I was receiving and I begin to understand the "whys" of my abusers madness. It was validation to me and it helped me end the craziness, and the daily abuse, I was living with. Leaving an abuser isn't always easy, but it's easier than living with one. This book brought sanity back to my life and I will always be grateful for Patricia Evans for her insightful and well written words.
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Summary: life-saver
Review: This book literally saved my life and my sanity. A *must-have* for all women, not just those involved in an abusive relationship. Clear, easy to read, and to-the-point, it validated all my questions about how I was being treated by my now-ex husband. Thank you Patricia for saving so many of us.
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Summary: This book helped me stand up for respect from others.
Review: At the recommendations of other survivors, I read this book and found not only my husband, but my mother in law, sister in law, and my younger sister in this book. I always wondered why it was alright for other people to feel like they we're better then the rest of us and call people names and put them down, now I know for sure it is not okay and that this is actually abuse.
To all the people who think they are being to sensitive because they're partner, mother, father, relative or friends tell them they are, pick up Patricia Evans books and read and find out that your not that sensitive,and even if you are, what gives them the right to tell you how you are to feel? Read everything you can get your hands on about verbal abuse, controlling people, co-dependency. They all help. HS
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Summary: A MUST READ!
Review: Patricia Evan's book "The Verbally Abusive Relationship", is an absolute must read for men and women. I initially bought and read the book as research for a psycholinguistic paper explaining the effects of verbal abuse. Never did I imagine it would open my eyes and give me such incredible empowering tools. After reading this book, I can now recognize when I am being discounted, diminished, and countered and respond appropriately with positive and empowering assertion. This book goes beyond helping just relationships at home, it easily helps an abused person understand and deal with abusive employers (whether male or female), verbal abusive merchants, or anyone else that may intimidate and/or control by verbally abusing others. The fact that men are more often portrayed as abusers in the book should not discourage either gender from reading and heeding the words on the pages. The reality is more women are abused by men than men by women. However, an abused male reader can simply exchange "female" for "male" and reap the same benefits as female readers. Anyone that feels, suspects, or knows that they are verbally abused should read this book NOW!
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Summary: This book is a catalogue
Review: For men or women, this book serves as a catalogue of abusive tactices. Knowing and recognizing these goes a long way in helping someone obtain an objective look at what is going on in their relationship. True, PE does not specify on the jacket that she addresses primarily men abusing women in the book. However, I highly recommend the work to all people, men and women. As with all books, we add the sum of knowledge to the whole that makes up our own personal experience and understanding. This is a profound work in that regard. But you will need more. You will need support, you will need therapy, you will need to read a lot more books - by Patricia Evans, by Suzette E Haden, by Lundy Bancroft, and in the end, by Melodie Beattie. Good luck, and peace to you
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Summary: This book began my journey to freedom from abuse
Review: This book was recommended to me about 6 years ago by the psychologist who initially worked with my husband & I.
Prior to reading this book, I considered "abuse" to be physical or sexual violence.
What an eye-opening book! As I read, I was floored over how accurately Patricia Evans described my marriage. When I read her illustrations, I felt that somehow, she'd read my mind. The names he called me, the way he twisted everything around, the way he blamed me for EVERYTHING that went wrong during our marriage, and the crazymaking tactics he used. For the first time, I found clarity for why I was so depressed and miserable.
Knowledge is power, and the knowledge I gained through this book empowered me. For the first time, I had a name for my miserable marital relationship that existed behind the facade of my "picture perfect" marriage.
Verbal abuse is an extremely distructive form of violence. Verbal abuse kills one's spirit.
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Summary: Interesting anecdote about this book. Good tool.
Review: I have read elsewhere that it constantly amazes a woman who deals daily with abused victims,... how often when victims read this particular book,... they feel like the abuser describes them. I'd had that feeling when I read this book,... except for a couple of sections (the discounting was right on in describing my guy). I found that very interesting. I think it comes down to the feeling underneath it all. If you feel like a victim of abuse,.. and seek out this book only to find you feel it says you are the abuser,... know this feeling is common. The book was worth it for me for the discounting section alone. I wouldn't get this book to get the "abuser" to understand his ways,.. because it would be easy for him to twist it around. But this book is invaluable as a tool to help you deal with being in an abusive situation.
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