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Summary: this book is an eye-opener
Review: This is a great book. It really helps you make sense of a confusing, abusive relationship. I've browsed a number of books on this topic in bookstores, and this is the best one I've seen. I found this book more enlightening (and far cheaper) than seeing a therapist!This book should be required reading in high school! I disagree with one of the previous reviewers that said that the vast majority of verbal abuse is male-on-female. I think it's closer to 50-50. When I was reading the book, I simply tried to swap "he" with "she", etc, and the book made a lot of sense. Another great source of info on verbal abuse is http://www.drirene.com/
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Summary: Men are verbally abused too!
Review: Although this was a very insightful and helpful book, I resent that it was written as though only women were abused. It simply made the reading more difficult by constantly having to transpose he for she, husband for wife, man for woman, etc. Maybe in Patricia Evans' next book, she will write it from the perspective of the abused male. However, the information contained in this book is indispensable! It is an absolute must for anyone (yes, including males)in an abusive relationship to read this book.
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Summary: The stealth of verbal abuse
Review: I found this book, just browsing at the bookstore, but wow, what a hidden treasure! Some verbal abuse is overt, but Patricia clearly defines the "covert" jabs and digs, which are hidden in comments by other people. She outlines that there are two realities, one of the abuser, and a separate one, of the abused. However, the abuser insideously thinks the abused is in his/her reality, and is to be dominated, in order to express his/her own hurts and emotional pain (undealt with from childhood). Thats where the term "Adult Child" comes from. Patricia reassures the reader, that it is possible to have a separate reality, that the words are real and do hurt, and that the abuser is the problem. She gives some ammo about how to deal with the issue, like "Dont talk to me that way". It is a tough issue, but once dealt with, a person is led to gain their "Personal Power".
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Summary: EXCELLENT BOOK!
Review: Patricia Evans's book is EXCELLENT! I knew that I was dealing with verbal abuse, but didn't realize how deep it really went until I read the book. I know how to respond now to the verbal abuse and it has really helped me to realize that I am not the 'crazy' one. I really love her suggestions and recommendations, too. I love the way she wrote the book -- she just said what she had to say in clear, concise language! A book that I will definitely read over and over again!
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Summary: A Must-Read For Anyone Wanting A Healthy Relationship
Review: Patricia Evans describes different kinds of abuse, why the abuser is the way they are, why the person being abused is the way they are, and what can be done to RESOLVE the problem. It's not an easy task, but it's not insurmountable at all! There is light at the end of the tunnel for those of us involved in verbally abusive relationships. A revelation to me about the abuser is that until or unless they resolve what has made them abusive, they are living a kind of "non-life." My heart soars with the knowledge that I have gained in reading this book. Patricia Evans knows what it feels like - she has to, because she has described it so well. I'm going to recommend that my 16-year-old daughter read this book, as well as to anyone in or considering a relationship. I am convinced that verbal abuse can be prevented!
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Summary: THIS is 'The Bible' !
Review: After 23 years of every kind of abuse imaginable and finally an impending divorce a therapist at the center for abused women recommended this book. I'd read all the others - ALL of them - and this book absolutely nailed the reasons for the abuse, the various subtle things he was doing I couldn't explain to friends, the reason the prior therapists had led us astray and made me feel dignified again. And here is the kicker: my almost -ex husband read it and said, "This is the first book that's told me what's wrong with me." Wish we'd found this sooner! It might have saved our marriage! Hope it saves someone else's...
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Summary: Highly recommended
Review: After reading my (now very overdue) library's copy of this book, I decided that there is quite a bit of helpful information which must be reread for it to be internalized and so I am now purchasing my own copy to write in and highlight. I couldn't believe a book had actually been written about "him!"
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Summary: Saved my life!
Review: I could not put this book down. I felt as if it was written about me. Patricia Evans gave a name to what was wrong in my marriage. So much about physical abuse is talked about, but not verbal abuse, which is just as bad if not worse. I HIGHLY recommend this book as well as her other book, "Verbal Abuse - Survivors Speak Out". Even if you are not experiencing verbal abuse, reading this book can help you recognize it early and avoid those who exhibit the signs.
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Summary: Reality
Review: This book kindly opened my eyes to a relationship that I struggled to "make right" for the past 10 years. I stumbled across this book and the preface "talked" to me. I cried, I got angry, I was stunned, I cried again. It let's you know you're not alone and that you are not crazy and no nothing is wrong with you (as you are told). My husband and I are separated now. I'm at peace. I highly recommend this book and it's partner (Survivors Speak Out). Yes, You are verbally abused in private and it makes it difficult for others to see, but what you will find is that there are a circle of people around you that "know" but are waiting on you to see. This book is a great identifier and gives you many scenarios and steps to start overcoming it. I never knew that such an abuse existed. Thank you for publishing it! I've already shared it with two other friends and they are wowed also.
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Summary: In the minority
Review: I have been married for 14 years and have often struggled greatly with understanding the dynamics of my relationship - why this hollow, detached feeling ? why the almost constant hurt and confusion? I happened upon this book by accident and found a great deal of the content it contained to spell my marriage out very plainly. However, as a husband and being on the end of some viscious verbal and physical abuse from my wife I found it disturbing and offensive that my gender has been labelled the one's who 'dish it out'. I can agree that as a man I am stronger and able to absorb the physical abuse much better than a woman would, but the hurt and pain that this causes along with the humiliation of the verbal abuse I believe would be comparable to that felt by a woman. A more unbiased approach would help to reach more of us in need of help. The startegies in this book have helped me understand my wife's reality, albeit with a great deal of grief. My marriage may well be over because of the stand that I am making towards my wife in that she cannot continue to behave in this manner towards me and in front of my children, but after reading this book I am now more confident in the knowledge that what I am standing against has nothing to do with who I am regardless of how much I am told it is my fault. I am far from perfect but even an imperfect specimen does not deserve to be treated in this way. I found this a good starting point in getting my being back into order.
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