When Bad Things Happen to Good People

Rating:
Summary: good , but flawed
Review: A good piece of writing but greatly flawed. Rabbi Kushner should have read what other religions have to say about this topic. Kushner writes from the heart but one gets the feeling that he's just desperate to prove that God exists even though He is absolutely powerless. He wants us to love God even though God is incapable of any action - good or bad. But it requires guts to say many things that Kushner has said and I admire him for being brutally frank at times. The whole book can be summarized in 6 sentences:

1) God exists, God is good but he is not omnipotent
2) God is not responsible for the pain and suffering in the world.
3) God cannot prevent suffering but feels our pain with us.
4) Fate/Chance causes pain.
5) Praying will not cure us of our suffering but will give us the strength to bear the pain.
6) So we must believe in Him and pray.

God is therefore not the all-powerful figure we assume him to be. He is a powerless, silent spectator to all the pain in this world. It also follows that if God is not responsible for all the bad things that happen, He is also not responsible for all the good things that happen in this world. He is the cause of neither joy nor sorrow. We are the victims of fate- of bad or good luck. It has nothing to do with the kind of people we are.

So, why believe in God if he cannot do anything. It is wishful thinking to assume that he provides us with strength. There are many examples of persons breaking down even after praying for strength from God. And don't tell me that they did not pray correctly or sincerely. Our inner strength or lack of it is the combination of many things - the nature of the tragedy, circumstances, our environment, our nature and our attitude among many.

Yes, what we should do when in pain is not to ask where this pain came from but to ask what we can do with ourselves now that we have it. This point is expressed very well though Kushner goes totally overboard in his attempt to describe people as "Gods martyrs" or the "Devils martyrs", depending on their reaction to the crisis. This distinction is an attempt at outright emotional blackmail - to instill a fear of the Devil and to force a love of God.

So let us come back to the original question - Why do bad things happen to good people?

The answer is known to almost anyone who knows the Hindu religion. Hindus believe in the concept of "karma" and "reincarnation". All deeds, all actions - good and bad -- of a person determine his fate in his NEXT birth. What you do now will affect your next life. Good deeds will give you happiness and bad ones will bring you sorrow. Greater the goodness, greater the reward. Greater the bad deeds, greater the punishment. In effect, you sow what you reap but a lifetime later. One also has to remember that a person is not a body. He is a soul. The soul may take various physical forms - of an animal, insect or a human- but it never ceases to be a soul. Therefore the soul is being rewarded or punished for its deeds not the physical body. God has made these laws and will not interfere with their execution. These are immutable and irrevocable. God is therefore also called the "karmaphaladata"- the giver of the fruits of action. If we understand this concept properly, we also understand that God wants us to be good and to do good. It is the right thing to do, not only because it increases our own happiness (remember the inner glow you feel when you do something nice), not only because it makes someone else happy but also because it gives us a chance to lead a happier life in our next birth. It helps us to get a bit closer to God and to ultimately reach a union with Him. It helps us escape this endless cycle of birth and death- "moksha".

So bad things happen to us because of our own selves and so do good things. There is no random chance or luck or even God determining our fate. We ourselves are the architects of our own destiny, once we understand the concept of karma. If everyone realizes this and stops being bad and starts being good, a time can ultimately come (in the very distant future) when there is only happiness in this world. Theoretically this is possible but knowing human nature, I guess, it is never going to happen.

Let me also say that I have given the briefest, simplest explanation and there is a lot more to this concept. Please also understand that not all effects of actions return in a later life. Some of the effects may be felt in the same life itself. Different actions have different maturity dates. There are also ways of getting rid of these karmic forces but that is an entirely different issue. To anyone interested, I would recommend reading The Bhagavad Gita to understand these concepts in detail.

All this in no way lessens our pain but at least it helps us in understanding the reason for the same. And this can prevent us from breaking down or becoming bitter and frustrated.

So, should we believe in God? Yes, in his existence. But if by believing, you mean, should we believe in his ability to help us, the answer sadly is no. Kushner is right in this respect. God will not, God cannot help. I'm sure he feels for us but that's just about as far as He will go. This is a tough decision to make and to each his own. I think one should respect God but not depend on him. As for loving him..... well, its your choice.

Rating:
Summary: Great book!
Review: Rabbi Kushner has written a book that I believe will be remembered for hundreds of years to come. In a non-judgemental way, he talks about bad things and how good can still exist in the world. Reading his book gave me more profound hope for the world. Although some fundamentalists are offended with his words, I found then comforting. Kushner helped motivate me to write a book about my autistic son called "Our Brown Eyed Boy"

Thank you Rabbi Kushner!

Rating:
Summary: Find a New Cause
Review: Before reading this book, the first thing that came to mind, as I noticed the title was, "They find a way to turn things around."

I had no idea that this book would be such a wonderful book about accepting life, on life's terms.

But first, let's look at what causes bad things:

1. The laws of nature
2. Chaos
3. An act of nature
4. Human choices
5. Self-punishment when things go wrong
6. Accidents
7. Expectations of others that can't be fulfilled
8. Denial of emotional immaturity
9. Our reactions to our own hurt and anger

This book teaches readers how to accept any kind of loss as part of the human condition.

This book also tells us that God doesn't cause accidents, sickness or disasters.

When Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge, they chose to live a life of choices, as knowledge is about choices. They were no longer in the category of animals. And with those choices God gave humanity choices, feelings and a need to congregate with other human beings, to affirm who we are.

God is here to build strength, courage, and a sense of human connection - when we are ready to ask ourselves, "Now that this has happened, what am I going to do about it?" And, "Whom does this suffering serve?"

"Let me sugggest that the bad things that happen to us in our lives do not have a meaning when they happen to us. They do not happen for any good reason which would cause us to accept them willingly. But we can give them a meaning."

It is a book to be read over and over again, to become more compassionate, as compassion is the language of God.

Rating:
Summary: Is it quite the right issue?
Review: I'm sure that the question "why do bad things happen to good people?" is one of the big questions that spiritually-minded people have always asked themselves. Even non-spiritual people may also find themselves dealing with this issue, if they are ever unfortunate enough to have something bad happen to them. It's good that there is a book like this, in case such people need something to read on the subject. As a very spiritual person myself, though, I find myself much more likely to be pondering the opposite question : why do good things happen to bad people? This phenomenon can be just as distressing, if not even more so, depending on how spiritual you are. The two things are very related - both questions stem from our wish to get all the good things for ourselves, and give all the bad things to someone else. Why bother being good if I don't get good things? Why don't I just be bad? I'd be just as likely to get good things anyway. The moral and spiritual question of how to palm off all the bad things onto someone else, while skimming off all the good things for ourselves, has always apparently tortured us, and never more so in this age of envy and greed. Where is the motivation for doing or being "good" if good things go to bad people? Considering this book was written 20 years ago, you'd think it could have been updated by now to incorporate this more spiritual approach to the subject.

Rating:
Summary: Three Books to Read When Bad Things Happen
Review: I read "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" when it first came out five years ago. At that time, I found it interesting. But it was not until I lived through the deaths of two of my closest friends and I reread Kushner's classic that the book hit me with full force.
Two recent books also were important to me during this dark period. I recommend all three of these books for anyone going through difficult times:
During the early summer, two of my best friends, both women in their 40's, died of breast cancer. I searched for books that would offer me help with my grieving, and a perspective on what I was going through. Most of the books I found were long on faith and hope, and short on thought. And then I discovered two books, both recently published, that saved my life. These were Harold Kushner's "The Lord is My Shepherd" and Dennis Shulman's "The Genius of Genesis." I thank Harold Kushner and Dennis Shulman for giving me a way of understanding life and death in a broader context.
All three of these books tenderly guided me through my valley of the shadow of death and toward healing, and, for this, I am grateful.

Rating:
Summary: Don't give this as a gradutation gift.
Review: I was given this book as a graduation gift. Not only was I insulted; I was forced to READ IT!!
AHHH!!!THE AGONY
I felt like I was back in preschool having a old lady tell me how to be a "good little boy".
Kushner here's some advice for you:

Bad things happen to everybody,
except when they happen to an SOB
you think they deserve it.

Rating:
Summary: We Not Alone!!
Review: A small but powerful little book. One to share over and over again, one to give when just sharing isn't enough.

Rating:
Summary: Deep, meaningful and worthwhile
Review: This is a deeply moving book that challenged me to review my life perspective and reframe it in a way that works. I highly recommend this book, and consider it a classic. I also strongly recommend Optimal Thinking: How to Be Your Best Self. Optimal Thinking showed me how to accept what is out of my control and optimize anything and everything within my control. Both of these books are first-rate!

Rating:
Summary: A Classic of profound knowledge...
Review: When I faced incredible loss a few years ago, I was amazed at the insensitive words my so-called friends offered in their "compassion", words that cut me right to the bone of my soul. It seemed that my grief was a burden for many. I painfully watched many of my closest friends distance themselves from me and even resent me for the tragedy and emotion that I had no control over. I questioned my feelings, my thoughts, and even my faith.

This book is a comfort for all people who have been forced to swallow such stupid sentiments in their times of grief and loss. It is an exploration of how we comfort each other in such terrifying times, and the dumb mistakes we make. Most of these sentiments wax on about God, why He created a world in which such pain exists: Is this all part of a greater good, a higher order? Is God testing you, expanding your soul for your own good? Has He taken your loved ones to a better place? This book gets right to the heart of the matter, that people in fact say such things as disguised justification for their own lack of understanding. They say things in defense of God to keep their world in order and the senseless tragedy in your life out of theirs. For example, someone might tell you, "God gave this grief to you as a test, because He loved you so very much, and knew you would become a better person for it," (to which the author replies, "If only I had been a weaker person, my daughter would still be alive.")

And yet, author Harold Kushner weaves this with a deep exploration of God and how He helps us and loves us. This is no cheap excuse for shallow religion. The knowledge Kushner shares has obviously been earned through incredible personal pain. You will never feel like some therapist is philosophizing about some subject they know nothing about - this is the Real Deal. Kushner makes no apologies or defense for his anger and pain, and fearlessly questions the ways we comfort each other, and God Himself. Having lost my own faith for a time, I found every word in this book deeply satisfying, the logic pure. Strong recommendation for anyone with deep pain in their life.

Rating:
Summary: A MOST fortunate book!!!
Review: It is unfortunate that while our son was dying of cancer we did not know about this profound book. Our son (age 22) kept asking "why me?" and wondered what he had "done wrong" to deserve cancer. Kushner's book helped us to deal with his death and gave us the answers to the unanswerabe questions, "why me, Lord?"

I disagree with the Garner, NC reviewer completely. If he claims the book is blasphemous, perhaps he'd better re-read Job and reconsider its meaning. For if God is all powerful, than the conclusion would be that God is also unjust.

Our family has reread "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" many times. We buy the book by the dozens and give copies to people we know who are suffering (from any cause) and looking for answers.

Rabbi Kushner, you have written a most fortunate book!