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Summary: This book helped me enormously
Review: Making the decision of whether to leave my husband of 7 years or to stay in an emotionally abusive relationship was one of the toughest decisions I've ever had to make. This book helped me enormously. It taught me how to think things through and to be honest with myself about every aspect of my relationship. It assisted me to see things for how they really were. It was never biased in any way and encouraged me to make little decisions about various aspects of my relationship which ultimately led to my final decision. I cannot recommend this book highly enough for anyone, man or woman, who has the unenviable task of choosing whether or not to stay in a relationship.
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Summary: This book is a real eye-opener.
Review: At times I felt I was reading my own life story, but the best part about this book is that you can not read it and in the end NOT have made a decision to either end or stay in your current relationship. I made my decision, and there were only a few written exercises to do. Ms. Kirshenbaum tells it like it is, I like her writing style, and I have ordered all her other books. I'm also going to look over her recommended reading list and order from there too. How did this very smart lady pass me, queen of the self-help book land, by? I am glad I found this author
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Summary: A different approach to help you make up your mind.
Review: I found the book offered a different way of looking at a relationship. No more goods outweighing the bads. I liked the step by step approach and the advice that followed. I did not find it too wordy. Just enough to make me hang on every word. It will teach you something about the way you think, and you will have to be honest with yourself. I think every woman who is even angry with her partner should read this and learn to put things in perspective.
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Summary: Not very inspirational, but it made some valid points...
Review: If I followed the advice in this book, I'd be divorced, homosexual, athiest, and generally no one I'd want to be around. (I'm almost divorced anyway, because my wife read the book, too!) Still, it points out some valid statements that, while I don't believe they're necessarily good enough reasons to leave a relationship without trying (especially when young children are involved) they do bring up the darker side of human nature, like the inability to forgive. The Bible is a much better resource!
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Summary: This was THE book I hoped to find!
Review: Despite several years in therapy with a superb therapist, I continued to find myself on the emotional see-saw, vacillating between "too good to leave, too bad to stay". This book acknowledges that ambivalence within relationships, then leads the reader through series of diagnostic questions which will provide most readers (like myself) to long sought clarity. The book is NOT verbose. It is written in a very clear, succinct, thoughtful, non-judgemental style. While I also jumped from question to question during my first reading, I found myself going back to re-read the book twice over a six month period. The guidelines and insights provided by the book only gained greater depth with time. If you are in the place I was in, confused, ambivalent, and a little frightened about either possible outcome, this book is simply great. Reading it is like having your therapist decided just once to meet you for coffee and let his/her hair down. (In fact I recommended this book to my therapist who suggested to 4 other clients who had equally favorably opinions of it.) Read this book! It's thought provoking and entertaining. And the clarity you achieve make surprise you.
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Summary: AN excellent book for learning to think about intimacy
Review: Although I am in the throes of considering a breakup, this book is interesting for anyone who is trying to figure out what they want, what others may want, in an intimate relationship. Not something you can hand to a teenager in love, but good for any one who wonders what they ought to be looking for to be happy. The verbosity -- well, I skimmed in places, but I think the extra words were good padding for some very painful realizations. I liked the balance of gender pronouns and the gentleness with which the author approached male and female tendencies and stereotypes. My male friend in a different but equally horrible place found the book as helpful as I did. I recommend this to therapists hoping to help people put their needs into words -- although not dumb, the writing is pretty simple and accessible, not rhetorical or jargonated.
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Summary: A concise diagnostic of relationship issues
Review: This text provides a clear question and answer format allowing the reader to "score" their current relationship. Unlike other reviewers, I did not find it 'too wordy'. I believe understanding our personal relationships deserve more than a soundbite editorial. The Author manages to be pragmatic while taking into account the complexity of the inner struggles the being dealt with by the reader. I have recommended it to many friends in need. Staying & leaving equally distributed among those who used the book, but all felt more capable of understanding & explaining the reasons for their decisions.
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Summary: Good information even if there are no mariatial problems
Review: The information in this book was very informative and will apply to anyone in an ill fated marriage or not. Did not like the way she kept referring to "She". Sometimes it was distracting. It covered most everything anyone wants to know that may be confused looking for some kind of an answer but yet informative enough to be read by a marriage that looks good. I read the whole book in about 10.5 hrs and will read it again, after I pass it to my soon to be ex-wife. Not that this book made my decision but helped me answer a few lost questions.
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Summary: Excellent--if you're debating ending the relationship, read!
Review: An excellent book, although I must agree with the other reader who complained the book was verbose. It indeed is pointlessly loquacious--I ended up reading the little summary boxes at the end of each chapter instead, which, when I compared them to the entire chapters I did read, contained exactly the same information. I guess the publishers felt she needed to have a thick book to make readers feel they were getting their money's worth. Still, the book was WONDERFUL!! It made my decision to stay easier--it made me see that while everything can't be perfect, the imperfections must be ones that you can live with. I feel very satisfied with the purchase of this book, and feel every cent was money well spent.
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Summary: Instructive but verbose.
Review: This book will serve its purpose but I found myself feeling irritated at the constant and simplistic repetition. For the persons looking for answers to relationship ambivalence, this book may help. The guideline questions are useful and the short guideline clarifications are all that's needed in this book. The long-winded repetition of those clarifications was boring and bothersome - it could have been discarded
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