Keeping The Love You Find

Rating:
Summary: Keeping the Love You Find
Review: After being separated, I decided to read this book. I kept blaming him for leaving me and my child. This book helped me see what I was doing wrong in the relationship. At first, I denied some of the behaviors but then I slowly realized that the author had it right about me and my childhood issues. When you read it, you realize that everyone has childhood issues. You must do all the exercises slowly to truly benefit. Reading this book has enlightened me to a new level. I wish I would have read this book before I got married. But then again, I probably would have denied it. I think you have to be in a place in your life where you are willing to accept new ideas and beliefs.

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Summary: Great for dating couples !!!
Review: After years of dating my girlfriend, things fell apart. We couldn't put our finger on it - it was "time to move on".

This book helps you to understand only to yourself- and without humiliation, why we react to things in our relationships, and, without actual CHANGE, continue to fail each time we start a new one.

If you don't believe that YOU need to change - this book is of vital importance. All you have to do is be open and honest to YOURSELF and make the changes suggested.

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Summary: A Truly Excellent Way to Look Inside Yourself
Review: As someone who has been in love several times, I can tell you that it's very difficult to get over someone who has been so special to you. We all know this, of course. This book has given me the understanding of what it takes to ensure that I carefully look at each relationship, understand what has happened, and use that knowledge to make the next relationship stronger and more likely to succeed.

I've met someone, he's terrific, and I'm feeling much more confident that things will work out. Or at least, I will be more aware of what I am doing and the end result will be one of understanding rather than confusion and hurt.

Every failed relationship in my life, and there have been a few, had one thing in common - Me! That's not to say that it's been my fault, but the book enables you to look at those relationships, understand them, and utilize that knowledge to make the next one that much better.

Rating:
Summary: A Truly Excellent Way to Look Inside Yourself
Review: As someone who has been in love several times, I can tell you that it's very difficult to get over someone who has been so special to you. We all know this, of course. This book has given me the understanding of what it takes to ensure that I carefully look at each relationship, understand what has happened, and use that knowledge to make the next relationship stronger and more likely to succeed.

I've met someone, he's terrific, and I'm feeling much more confident that things will work out. Or at least, I will be more aware of what I am doing and the end result will be one of understanding rather than confusion and hurt.

Every failed relationship in my life, and there have been a few, had one thing in common - Me! That's not to say that it's been my fault, but the book enables you to look at those relationships, understand them, and utilize that knowledge to make the next one that much better.

Rating:
Summary: highly recommended
Review: easy to read, difficult to put down. informative and recommended

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Summary: Scientifically grounded
Review: Great book, easy to read, exercises that actually seem worth doing. Overall, excellent.... And for those who are curious, it is, in fact built upon standard, accepted scientific principles. Even though he does take them a step further, there's nothing in his theories you could instantly strike down based on previous research. Anyone who's in psychology or psychiatry would do well to look at the endnotes--there's actually one on page 309-310 that summarizes the essence of the book in terms you'll understand perfectly (in a great synthesis of Freud, Ericsson, and the DSM-IV). Good news for everyone else is, he leaves this kind of terminology to the endnotes, and focuses on making the body of his book just a good, easy read.

Rating:
Summary: Great for someone who wants to understand.
Review: Have you ever wrestled with youself when you want to call a girlfriend for the fifth time in a day? Ever immediately think that when someone doesn't answer the phone or return a call immediately, that something is falling apart in the relationship or that they are leaving you? Do you over-try to make someone like you? How about the flip side of this... do you run for cover if a relationship gets to close? Do you become more cold or callous towards your partner the warmer they become toward you?

I was always a hold-out on getting therapy until I had a second affair on my wife. At that point, the pattern of things I was doing became very obvious, but I didn't understand why I kept wanting to make sure I had an escape route from my relationships.

On the advice of my counselor, I went to pick up "Getting the Love You Want" guide for couples, but I also picked up this book as I felt it focused more on the individual. It made sense to me that if I didn't straighten myself out, how could I work on a relationship. I've thoroughly enjoyed working through this book (about 1/3 though so far) and it's written in a way that, for me, sparks thoughts constantly. I've noticed much more about myself than I ever did before and I feel like I'm getting the understanding I need so that I can move forward in being able to be in a mutually healthy relationship. Even in the beginning 1/3 of the book, I now see that the kind of person I marry (twice) and the kind of person I had an affair with (twice as I said before) are quite different from each other but EXTREMELY consistant to the other in their category. But I also see consistancy throughout all the people involved as well.

The excercises should be done slowly, if you breeze through them you can't be very serious about working out the issues as most require honest exploration and consideration.

All in all, I'm quite pleased with this book and the new experience of learning something about myself. In many ways, I've felt I've gotten as much from this book as I have my therapy, though I think the balance of having a third party to talk to is very beneficial as well. I've liked this so much, I've seriously considered going to one of the workshops.

Edit: I wanted to add, I have found it helpful later in the book to keep a journal as often, the reading has triggered thoughts, questions and revelations that I wanted to remember for myself as well as discuss with my counselor.

Further, this book has been terrific in pointing out the type of people I'm attracted to, and why. This kind of information is instrumental in development and maturing in present or furture relations.

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Summary: This explains everything
Review: I didn't see any reasons behind the relationships I picked in my life until I read this book and became aware of the emotional levels that form attraction. It has helped me take responsibility for my attractions and not blame. It helps me work through issues that cause havoc in my relationships. It is changed my entire perspective and as a result, I am able to work through conflict in my relationship more constructively. It is a must read for anyone trying for meaning in their love life (and friendships too).

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Summary: Disagree with "Useful Guide With a Couple of Worrying Asp...
Review: I do not agree with the previous review which states that Hendrix supports the idea that the woman is responsible for the violence that is rained down upon her, or that a woman should remain in a violent relationship no matter the consequences. As a survivor of domestic violence myself, I am extremely sensitive to this issue. Hendrix handles this very complex subject with incredible poise and balance. No, he does not blame the victim. However, he does look at the dynamics of the relationship and how that may have contributed to an atmosphere of violence. He does not say you should be staying in a relationship that will do you harm. He says that you entered into that relationship in order to meet certain needs. The violence meets those needs in an unhealthy way. Discovering the underlying need and it's genesis can help you to meet the need in healthy, non-destructive ways, so that your next relationship is fulfilling, violence free, and lifelong.

Please read this book, especially if your previous relationships have been hurtful. It was very helpful in pointing me in a direction that is healthy and self-loving.

Rating:
Summary: Intense, Thorough review of Why you Act the way you do
Review: I first read "Getting the Love You Want" during a relationship that ultimately failed, but was so impressed by Dr. Hendricks that I decided to read his book for singles, "Keeping the Love You Find." This book will help you discover some uncomfortable, yet accurate, information about yourself and how it effects your relationship choices. I wish I'd read it three years earlier!