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Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism

Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism

List Price: $12.00
Your Price: $9.60
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 5 stars
Summary: AN ESSENTIAL MUST READ ON NARCISSISM
Review: As a manager of MSN forums with over 3000 members, I am jumping up and down, clapping and cheering to wholeheartedly recommend Sandy Hotchkiss' book to our members. Not only is the disorder explained in a clear, concise and very reader-friendly way, but Sandy's strategies and guidelines for survival are lifelines for anyone caught in the narcissist's treacherous web. The reader emerges with tremendous self empowerment, and a renewed sense of self esteem. Sandy makes the tactics and understanding of the most seasoned professionals available. If you're involved with a narcissist, this is a must have. It is survival itself. Five stars is not enough!!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Americanism is not narcissism!
Review: At least not the unhealthy narcissism that defines us today. And it is not how we got our start. Yet this message shows where we left the track then sadly plummeted toward the demoralized society that we have become. However...

It also provides much needed tools to identify the toxic attitudes, actions even thoughts that poison our home, school, work and government. It offers methods to reign in the egotistical and inherently entitled (yet developmentally disabled) that have asserted destructive power as husband or wife, mother or father, manager or boss, and yes, even as thieving corporate executive and their crummy customer service rep.

It pinpoints the ploy of the narcissist and reveals the attributes of their vulnerable prey. For me, it restores the catchphrase, "Character in all things" and demonstrates that the trumped but distorted "Attitude is everything" will not lead to a fulfilled, satisfying, and accomplished life - a stable company, economy or lasting country either.

"Why Is It Always About You" carries a simple yet powerful and timely message. An acknowledgement of the serious problem that plagues America and a leap toward restoring a healthier self, an enduring family, safer schools and a stronger, sounder nation.

Kudos Sandy Hotchkiss.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: One of the great unexplored areas of the mind
Review: I once worked for a boss who had the following sign on his desk: "People who think they know everything are particularly irritating to those of us who do." I laughed. Six months later, while still working for the same man I had stopped laughing. It wasn't a joke--the guy meant it. If only I had had this book then. It seems to me that far too much energy and time is spent on the "bigger" mental problems of society and not enough on this one. For really, most of these other problems seem to stem from narcissism. Most narcissistics see themselves as "healthy," so what can you do? This book is a must for those interested in toxic people and if you're older than the age of five, you know just how many there are. Highly, highly recommended. Would also recommend an interesting read (fiction) that deals with MAJOR personality disordererd individuals, family dysfunction, and definitely narcissism: "The Bark of the Dogwood" by Jackson McCrae.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: NARCISSISTIC - BORDERLINE RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDERS
Review: I strongly recommend this book for anyone seeking to find help with confusing trust and troubling relationship issues.

Excellent compliments to this book are: Emotional Blackmail: When People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier; The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert Pressman; Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson; The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro and Ronald Cohen; Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man by Scott Wetzler; Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin and Lidija Rangelovska (Editor); Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents by Nina Brown; Treating Attachment Disorders: From Theory to Therapy by Karl Heinz Brisch and Kenneth Kronenberg; Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job by Alan Cavaiola and Neil Lavender.

And if you want to pursue the subject even further, you may be interested in reading The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple: A Psychoanalytic Perspective On Marital Treatment; Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility by Jim Fay and Foster Cline.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Highly recommended
Review: In classical mythology, Narcissus was a young man who fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water and wasted away from unsatisfied desire. In modern terms a narcissist is a vain, self-absorbed, arrogant individual with a grand sense of entitlement. Narcissistic tendencies include the need to be perfect or in control at all times.

Narcissistic attitudes and behaviors are epidemic in our society. The American Psychiatric Association estimates that one out of every one hundred persons meets the criteria of severe narcissism.

According to the author, "our culture is full of narcissistic influences that numb us to the reality of the problems we face." In fact, unreality is the hallmark of narcissism. Their distortions of reality can cause others to question themselves and doubt their own perceptions.

Narcissists will go to great lengths to promote fantasies that sustain their grandiosity and omnipotence. Many prominent elected officials, sports idols, and entertainment figures are narcissists. They also head large corporations and lead flocks of the faithful. Many of us encounter unhealthy narcissism in some form every day.

Narcissists see themselves as "special people." They know better than you do. They are also very shame-sensitive. They avoid shame at all costs. They are unlikely to self-correct their intrusive or inconsiderate behavior just because you call attention to it. When failures occur, they portray themselves as victims and blame others for their misfortune. Gossip, backbiting, and bootlicking are prevalent in work environments dominated by a narcissist.

The narcissist sees power as his due. This is why many achieve management positions. In such positions they practice stretching employees until they break and then get rid of them. This is called "rubber band management." Narcissists are also very aware of shifts in the balance of power.

In this book author Sandy Hotchkiss presents an excellent general description of narcissism and covers how to deal with the narcissists in our lives. Knowing the narcissist's weaknesses and tendencies will help you effectively deal with narcissism.

Chapter 16 is titled "Narcissists at Work: The Abuse of Power." This chapter is well worth the price of the book. It covers the narcissistic problems of poor interpersonal boundaries, scapegoating, shameless exploitation, envy in the workplace, and ways narcissists seduce us. The chapter ends by providing four guidelines for survival with a narcissist in power.

If you find yourself working in a toxic environment headed by a narcissistic manager, you will want to read Why is it Always About YOU?.

Review By Dr. J. Howard Baker

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: weLEAD Book Review by the Editor of leadingtoday
Review: In classical mythology, Narcissus was a young man who fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water and wasted away from unsatisfied desire. In modern terms a narcissist is a vain, self-absorbed, arrogant individual with a grand sense of entitlement. Narcissistic tendencies include the need to be perfect or in control at all times.

Narcissistic attitudes and behaviors are epidemic in our society. The American Psychiatric Association estimates that one out of every one hundred persons meets the criteria of severe narcissism.

According to the author, "our culture is full of narcissistic influences that numb us to the reality of the problems we face." In fact, unreality is the hallmark of narcissism. Their distortions of reality can cause others to question themselves and doubt their own perceptions.

Narcissists will go to great lengths to promote fantasies that sustain their grandiosity and omnipotence. Many prominent elected officials, sports idols, and entertainment figures are narcissists. They also head large corporations and lead flocks of the faithful. Many of us encounter unhealthy narcissism in some form every day.

Narcissists see themselves as "special people." They know better than you do. They are also very shame-sensitive. They avoid shame at all costs. They are unlikely to self-correct their intrusive or inconsiderate behavior just because you call attention to it. When failures occur, they portray themselves as victims and blame others for their misfortune. Gossip, backbiting, and bootlicking are prevalent in work environments dominated by a narcissist.

The narcissist sees power as his due. This is why many achieve management positions. In such positions they practice stretching employees until they break and then get rid of them. This is called "rubber band management." Narcissists are also very aware of shifts in the balance of power.

In this book author Sandy Hotchkiss presents an excellent general description of narcissism and covers how to deal with the narcissists in our lives. Knowing the narcissist's weaknesses and tendencies will help you effectively deal with narcissism.

Chapter 16 is titled "Narcissists at Work: The Abuse of Power." This chapter is well worth the price of the book. It covers the narcissistic problems of poor interpersonal boundaries, scapegoating, shameless exploitation, envy in the workplace, and ways narcissists seduce us. The chapter ends by providing four guidelines for survival with a narcissist in power.

If you find yourself working in a toxic environment headed by a narcissistic manager, you will want to read Why is it Always About YOU?.

Review By Dr. J. Howard Baker

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Help Self
Review: Is the world overrun with aliens pretending to be human beings? The internet is teeming with information on the subject of narcissism, and at any given moment there are probably thousands of people clicking through space in the hope of unlocking its mystery. Probably for a lot of people, the awareness of narcissism -- true narcissism, not vanity -- came as a sudden and shocking revelation, followed by a frantic effort to learn as much as possible and to retrofit this awareness to past experiences. Unfortunately, for those whose lives have been affected by this insidious madness, every answer begets more questions. It's a hall of mirrors.

Hotchkiss's book, while it does reference some theoretical areas, mainly attempts to provide a map leading out of hell. It illustrates various narcissistic traits (the "seven deadly sins") and how people exhibit them in everyday life, and it offers guidelines for dealing with such people. The tone is practical and very down-to-earth, but at times almost pandering, given that those inclined to read it are likely familiar with the territory already; there's no point in pretending this is general-interest material.

The advice is well thought-out and useful -- the operative word here is "coping" -- but my copy seemed to be missing the single most essential chapter, which simply reads: "Run! Leave! Get out!"

The book attempts to take on the subject from so many angles (love, work, parents, children, teenagers, society) that it can't do real justice to any of them, tho this will obviously draw more readers. As far as giving a deeply insightful and overarching view of the problem, the author doesn't have the heavy bat to put it out of the park. (In fact, some of the case studies she presents are pretty wimpy on the N scale.)

The real shortcoming, however, for all the good this book offers, is that Hotchkiss comes across more as a concerned onlooker than one who has seen into the abyss. In any case, read this book (you know who you are), but it shouldn't be the first or the last.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Good Introduction to Narcissism
Review: The author does a good job at laying out the general characteristics of unhealthy narcissism and the root of the behavior. The treatment of the subject is fairly general and superficial, but excellent as an introduction to the subject matter. If you suspect that someone you care about might be hopelessly self-centered, unempathetic, oblivious to the destructive effect that their demands of attention, care, adoration have on you or others -- you would do well to read this. The general approach and lack of detail in this book makes it easier to digest this information and not simply intellectualize the issue.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Americanism is not narcissism!
Review: The author graduated from USC with a MSW in 1981. She works in her own practice in Pasadena, CA. as a Board Certified Diplomate in Clinical Social Work. This requires 5 years and 7,500 hours of clinical practice. I enjoyed reading her opinions on the case studies.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: It is Ok....
Review: This book provides really great descriptions and will help you understand what narcissism is, but it provides little help regarding how to manage being in a relationship with a narcissist. It is worth a read, but you'll have to find something else to help you manage in a close relationship with a narcissist.


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