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Summary: A Great Weapon Against Crime
Review: Gavin De Becker's book should be at the top of every woman's reading list. Why? Because women are the number one target of crime. After reading De Becker's book, I now make a point of keeping a safe distance from individuals that approach me in an airport or shopping mall and attempt to strike up a conversation. Moreover,in an emergency situation I choose the person that I want to help me, as opposed to receiving help from someone offering assistance. De Becker says that we would be more likely to pick a "safe" individual from a crowd than receiving help from someone who just appears out of nowhere. I have used De Becker's book in my work with battered women and firmly believe that his work should be required in all self-defense classes, mainly because he teaches that our brain is the most powerful weapon against crime. Patricia Gaddis, Author: Dangerous Dating: Helping Young Women Say No To Abusive Relationships (Waterbrook Press, 2000)
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Summary: People need this book..
Review: This is a very informative and interesting guide to violence and how to prevent it. It spends a little too long focusing on the criminal mind instead of the average one, contrary to what the first few sections would have you believe. While this material on stalkers, mass murderers, and assassins is fascinating, it seemed to be more of a diversion from the central idea than a support for it. Still, De Becker is terribly knowledgable on how a desperate human mind works (for both attacker and attacked) and does a good job of relating it to the reader using stories, examples, and plain speech. The occassional tangent (on local news, for example) is forgivable, because of the importance of his message. We all have what it takes to take care of ourselves, if we only learn how to listen to ourselves.
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Summary: Control that Compulsion to be Counterintuitive
Review: We have a lot of pressure on us to be counter-intuitive. Give the guy a break; don't judge people (or don't judge books by their covers); don't be an elitist, etc. The author here simply points out that it doesn't matter what pure or neutral rationalizations you force through your brain, since you can still be raped, robbed or beaten, or worse, right in the middle of your upbeat thought. His point here reminded me of the community activist on the West Side of Chicago who was killed with a pipe to the head by some punk who never knew that this woman had for over 20 years worked as a reconciliation advocate in her changing community--as he spied her walking along in a vulnerable position, and then demanded her purse. His perspective on her was more decisive. Should she have been more careful? Or was she paying the price of unconditional love and acceptance toward her neighbors? This is a good message for, e.g., the high school girls who blithely suggest that they be dropped off at the store, to walk the mile home at 10:00 pm, not realizing how they will look to some criminal in that situation. "But I don't feel scared" they will protest. "Hey, it doesn't matter how you feel." This book counsels that we listen to our adult intuition, and that we help our kids develop theirs. It's a good argument for looking to things like PADS, or other organizations, to channel our concern for the poor and homeless, and to control their access to our daughters and property. Nothing mean spirited or discriminatory about that, not when we calculate the millions of years of life that criminals deprive us of each year by their activity.
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Summary: Common Sense Tactics
Review: The Gift of Fear does take an in-depth look at the pitfalls of celebrity life as well as addressing the dangers of American society. DeBecker paints a grim picture of violence in America, but also states that the media is largely responsible for our anxieties and fears. We hear and see so much violence on television that we are almost desensitized. Our basic instinct is eroding to the point where we can no longer distinguish the difference between real fear and worry. He offers scenarious which illustrate the differences between these two emotions. He also states that we have a better chance of hurting ourselves than someone else doing it for us. How? We ignore our basic instincts when someone approaches, whose behavior is questionable. The Gift of Fear not only addresses the signals these people throw at us, but tells us how we should handle that person. In his book, he fictionizes his cases to illustrate how women put themselves in a situation where they beaten, raped, stalked, and murdered. At the end, he summarizes how they could have avoided their snag. He points out that the police and judicial system offer little to help these women once they are in this situation. I, myself, have heard about this scenario many times. What got to me was a thirteen year-old boy, named Eric. He and his mother had their luggage stolen while on vacation. The hotel manager was very helpful and 'nice'. He was so nice that he made a special trip across the country to see this boy. In short, he was a sexual predator. Fortunately for Eric, his mother was put off by this man. Out of all the stories recounted in this book, this one gave me chills. Again, DeBecker lists the danger signs that we should watch out for and the common sense tactics of avoiding these criminals. At the back of the book, is a list of agencies who help battered women and children cope and survive. I would recommend this book for everyone.
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Summary: A Great Life Tool
Review: This book has been very helpful to me; I re-read it every couple of years as a refresher. I do a lot of work with the homeless/criminal population in my town and the book was a primer in knowing when I am being conned, or worse, am in danger. No longer do I feel guilty when I refuse to be put in a vulnerable situation with someone who just doesn't "feel right". Not wanting to hurt someone's feelings is not worth putting yourself in danger. It also allows me to better enjoy the people with whom I do feel comfortable. My only complaint is I found the sections about famous people interesting, but not very relevant to me. When I recommend the book to friends I often advise them that they can skip that part. A must-read, especially for women!
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Summary: The Gift of Fear
Review: This is a wonderful book. Despite the intense and frightening subject matter, I find myself feeling safer in an increasingly violent world. Having the knowledge that allows me to predict and prevent violence from happening to me and those I love is a liberating experience. I highly recommend this book
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Summary: Excel! Intro To The Body-Mind Intuitive Responses To Danger
Review: This book clearly details the intuitive responses to impending danger. It teaches us to value our own gut-feelings to the people and situations around us. It guides us to recognize the mistakes of not following our own most innate reactions. It is the intellectual introduction for those who have never experienced violence but wish to prepare for it mentally. Furthermore, it allows those who have experienced it to gain clarity and to defeat confusion by offering tales that these people can easily relate to.
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Summary: A Great Read
Review: What a great book. Read and learn. Even if you are a scholar, I cannot imagine you not being able to gain something from this book. Mr. De Becker has an impecable background and knows of what he speaks. Read of the media, the modern day fear machine. And of society with its tail tucked neatly between its legs. Read of you and of me. Read of our sorry arse, so rot with confusion we are unable to sense that impulse so important - real fear. Mr. De Becker will help you to discern between manufactured and actual (life saving) fear. I loved this book because while reading it I could not help but think of all the millions of people that could benefit from it. This book makes a great gift idea. Read this book for yourself and then get this book for your young adult children. This is an important work, most important for the coming generations. With all the manufactured 'news' it is important to be able to put things in proper perspective. This book is just that clarifier.
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Summary: Help yourself...
Review: We, as a culture, have never been more violent. That fact alone in bad enough. What makes it horrendous is that the majority of us, while posessing the natural gift of intuition that serves to protect us from harm, have disengaged it. We have shut off our danger-meter. De Becker's "The gift of fear" is a practical means of helping to re-educate the public about the many hidden dangers in the world, while dispelling myths about the true nature of the survival mechanism fear. I came away from reading this feeling at least five times safer and more confident than I did before reading it. Give it a whirl. We can all use a little more safety in this world.
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Summary: Outwit, Outplay and You WON'T Outlast!
Review: De Becker breaks it down to the simplest concepts: listen to your intuition/gut feeling and be safe. Ignore it, be rational, be stupid and join the statistics of victims of violence. Thank you, De Becker, for encouraging us not to outwit or outplay our best Survival skill: FEAR.
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