Rating: 
Summary: How not to be a victim
Review: I have been a police officer for 5 years, and have investigated and made arrests in numerous stalking cases. After I found this book by chance, it became the primary tool in my victim education arsenal. While it's useful to educate victims of on going problems, it's even more useful to educate women in advance of trouble. I've recommended this book many times to many people. Everyone who has read it has raved about it, and then gone on to encourage all of their friends to read it...
Rating:
Summary: Required Reading
Review: A must-read for anyone who can read this review. For those who can't, get the audio version. Mr. De Becker makes his points w/o preaching. You will learn how to recognize,and consequently, avoid life-threatening situations. ENOUGH OF THIS REVIEW, JUST GET THE BOOK.
Rating:
Summary: Recognize and dump a manipulator!
Review: This book recently helped me to recognize the manipulative tactics of a man I dated one time, and it showed me the most effective way to dump him before getting sucked into a bad relationship. Repeatedly discounting the word "no", even in small matters; typecasting; attempted loansharking; deceptive and self-serving charm; and unwarranted persistence were all warning signs of a bad dating situation.
The chapter "I was trying to let him down easy" provides an effective method to end a no-win situation quickly and without guilt. The strategy: Tell him explicitly that you have decided to not go out with him again. (Do not use the word "date"; he may counter-offer and suggest "going out as friends" instead. Then you are still stuck with him.) Do not offer reasons why. Do not negotiate. Your reasons are your business; his only interest is in your final decision. Cease contact, and do not respond to any attempted contact by him.
This technique may appear cold; certainly, it isn't warranted in every breakup. Recognize, though, that manipulators have honed a strategy that advances their interests with little regard to your well-being. Don't feel sorry for them. They know what they are doing. With this book, you are better equipped to see them realistically and rid them from your life before they cause real damage.
Rating:
Summary: What you didn't know about your instincts
Review: I'd especially recommend this book for people who work nights and those who visit unfamiliar places (neighborhoods, cities, countries).Not a paranoia-inducing book, but a well-balanced overview that allows us to fear less, while being better-equipped to respond to potentially violent persons and situations.
Rating:
Summary: A MUST READ BOOK FOR WOMEN!
Review: As a professional counsellor for thirty years, many of my clients have been victims of domestic violence. This will be one book that I will be highly recommending to those in need. The aftermath of a domestic violence scene is a clear, horrific and unforgettable reminder of the physical and emotional damage violence can leave in its wake. The author has given us the reality of violence and outlines ways in which we can best protect ourselves or, in some cases, prevent it. As De Becker reveals there are a variety of signals which the trained eye can identify that indicate there is a potential threat. The downside is "love is blind" and in many relationships, these early signals go ignored until it is too late. Violence is not only a crime, it is a need to control and often a result of emotional problems traced back to early childhood. Some of most notorious violent offenders have presented the outward appearance of being the typical "nice guy next door." The author takes a no-nonsense approach to handing potentially threatening situations. Many women have, as children, been raised to be well-mannered, polite, and courteous. As De Becker tells us, these fine qualities do not work when fending off an attacker. The statistics are: 75 woman are raped every hour and one is beaten every few seconds. In today's society, a woman needs to have the ability to protect herself as best she can. As the author reveals, doing what one can to eliminate the potential risk in the first place is an excellent place to start. I, personally, have training in martial arts and feel any woman would benefit from some form of protection even if it is a short, basic course in self defense. Having the skills and smarts to best defend yourself may be your one chance for survival if you are ever attacked. The case studies given in this book will likely have a profound impact on the reader. They are true, documented cases that vividly portray what can and does happen in both your country and mine 365 days of the week, each and every year. Hopefully, readers will become better prepared to prevent an attack or defend themselves against one. While the book may place emphasis on women as victims, it should be pointed out that men are also targets of violence and the book could will benefit both genders. "The Gift of Fear" is highly recommended and deserving of far more than five stars in the rating.
Rating: 
Summary: Human Nature
Review: A pretty good book on human nature and how predators approach, evaluate, stalk, and victimize their prey. Women would most benefit from the book since the message in a nutshell is to say no, mean it, and follow through with actual versus percieved disengagement. Lot of women need an excuse to do this and the book provides a good one. The one thing I strongly disagree with in this book is Mr De Beckers irrational fear of handguns as a means of self defense, using old tired straw man arguments he proves only that his childhood induced anxiety derived from his weapon sporting drug addicted parents is still in full force. He proves this by encouraging women to take an IMPACT course, then states that guns are somehow the root of most evils in our country. The difference between learning how to gouge out a mans eyes vs. unleashing hundreds of foot pounds of energy via a handgun is lost on me and was the only irrational thread in an otherwise interesting read. He ends his diatribe against firearms by stating that our anscetors would be horrified to know how many of us carry and are willing to use weapons to defend our selves. Wow, talk about revisionist history, just the opposite is true of course, they would be horrified at how many of us simply allow ourselves to be sheep when the wolves come calling. One of his typical anti-gun storys has to do with a complete moron who kept an unsecured weapon that was inaccessible to everyone but the intruder. The intruder of course locates the weapon and is then confronted by our moron. He is then held with his daughters for over an hour. The intruder finally leaves after deciding to not kill them (how sweet). Moral of the story is of course weapons will be used against us so lets get rid of all the weapons, silly. Two other possibilties exist of course. 1st the intruder is confronted by our moron, neither is armed, confrontation would most definetely have ensued with unknown results but likely the street tuff would have beaten his brains in. 2nd moron actually has his gun and confronts the intruder, intruder is stopped (killed) or arrested and cannot confront and or harm any other familys at least until De Beckers liberal pals let him out a few years later. Now of these three possibilites which would you want to bet your life on? Mr. De Becker picks the sheep scenario for you, but for him and his clients it's armed body guards, otherwords other people defending you is ok, you defending you is just stupid so dont even try. Read the book, but don't buy into his view that the only answer to violence is to recognize and avoid, those are very good tools to have, usually the best if possible, but also be ready to respond when or if you can't avoid violence. I have had personal experience with a handgun that twice stopped crimes. Once a break and enter by a hopped up druggy who got sent packing by a 100lb women, later it turned out he was also an off and on again rapist among other things. One other time personally to stop a beating of an old man by a group of thugs. Of course I am trained, experienced and more than willing to put a lot of lead through anyone that wants to live by the sword, also trained in hand to hand, and edged weapons. I spent moeny and time learning it and having the training and means to protect myself makes me less, not more likely to engage people with vilolence since I understand it and the consequences it can bring. If you are a moron like De Beckers pal who had no training or will to repsond and thought the mere presence of a weapon would prevent violence then like him it would probably just be better to drop your pants, bend over and take whatever the world dishes out.
Rating:
Summary: ...
Review: This is a great book. Every adult American should read it and re-read it! This book is filled with life saving information about violence. Violence is the #2 cause of death of teenagers in the US. More than 11 million Americans are victims of violence every year, half of them are under 25 years in age. More than $20 billion is lost to violence every year! This is big business! Take the time to learn all that you can about the enemy that you may face. It just might save your life. Read this book, ....read every book that is reality-based. Today!
Rating:
Summary: State Trooper has just had his eyes opened....
Review: I am a state trooper, and the usual response in my assigned area is not and has not been very successful when dealing with family violence. After reading this book, I feel much more comfortable making an arrest where before we may not have. I will now advise all victims to read this book which is available at our public library. I borrowed the book from our public library and halfway through knew I had to buy it. I now own it, and every member of my family will be sure to read it. The author is very well educated in the area of violence and gets his points and views across in an easy to understand fashion. If you are a potential victim (as we all are) this book is a must for you.
Rating:
Summary: Police Officer
Review: This book on tape should be listened to by all women between 16 and 100 years old. As a Police Officer, I recommend it to all the family violence or stalking victims I deal with. the book on tape is too expensive for 90% of the women that need it, but I always recommend they rent it from our local video store for 99 cents. Well worth the time!
Rating:
Summary: A sensible lesson in safety
Review: Like many other women, I was raised to be unfailingly polite -- no matter when, where or to who. Gavin De Becker advises another route: It's better to be rude than dead. One of the main points he hammers home is how often women, afraid of being rude or hurting someone's feelings, allow themselves to get into dangerous situations. I can't count how many times I've done it: The guy at a party who says, "Come over here -- there's a guy who says he knows you." The man who approaches you on the street and says, "Hey, baby, you have a boyfriend?" De Becker also urges us to listen to our inner voice -- the one that says "something here is wrong." Too often, we tell ourselves, "I'm sure he's a perfectly nice man. There's nothing to worry about." Also important is the chapter on how potential rapists/murders approach victims. The author explains how an attacker tries to get a victim to feel comfortable with him and thus make herself vulnerable. Of course, there are also plenty of practical safety tips in here. (For example: Don't accept help from someone who approaches you. If you need it, ask for it: The chances of an attacker singling you out are far greater than vice versa.)
| 
