The Gift of Fear

Rating:
Summary: Groundbreaking
Review: De Becker lives the life he teaches here in this book. Using our intuition, understanding clues that at times we ignore, that is the key to the Gift of Fear.

It is not a paranoic type of fear, he shows through the horrifying events of the lives of victims the clues that they may have been able to use to avoid becoming victims. Learning to key into our intuition and our feel for a place or an event may save our lives.

De Becker teaches that in this very violent world we live in, the best defense is being aware of our surroundings at all times.

A good buy for all who care about safety.

Rating:
Summary: A Gift to Anyone who Reads It
Review: De Becker offers in The Gift of Fear a gift of insight and wisdom to his readers. This book is a true must-read, not just for women but all people. It shares important lessons that De Becker has learned from his experience and his training. The knowledge he shares about dangerous people is priceless, as is what he shares about listening to our own intuition that warns us of danger. The examples he shares in the book drive the points home.

This book has helped me to become a wiser more prudent person, father and husband. In addition to being helpful, it is also eye-opening and interesting. Although non-fiction, it is a page turner that keeps your attention.

You will learn how some people become threats to you and your loved ones and how to protect yourself from them. It is especially startling when discussing people dangerous to children.

After reading this one, if you are a parent or have involvement with children, then definitely read the Gift of Fear. It is about protecting children from the many dangers that face them.

Thank You Mr. De Becker.

Rating:
Summary: Must have for serious self defense and martial artists
Review: This is a book that teaches you that your greatest weapon for self-defense is your own intuition. Unfortunately, due to the way our modern society have influenced our upbringing, our intuition is not what it should be. We are more laxed and we frequently push our own doubts and fears to the back of our mind using our own personal 'logic'. This has resulted in putting ourselves into more risky situation which we could have avoided.

The book has certainly opened my mind on the subject of threat assessments and how we view our lives. It's not a book that should leave you being scared everyday of your life, nor will it make you over confident.

What it does do is that it will make you more aware of your environment, on how to handle threats to your safety and to ultimately live a happier and safer life.

If you're a martial artist, then this book should have been on your bookshelf already!

Rating:
Summary: great book
Review: I read this book few years back. And six months ago I was .. abused on the street. I was followed by a sick perverted person for 3 blocks while I was jogging, and when I turned back while trying get away from him, he grabbed my hand and assaulted me in various places. Using knowledge of this book, I screamed and people heard and came out on the street, and thank God, I was not raped or anything but this book and reading this book saved my life. I'm very greateful to the author for taking time to write this book

Rating:
Summary: Some useful information
Review: There is very good information. The problem is that you have to search for it.

The book is written from a liberal perspective, meaning, this shines as one reads it. Such a perspective has little to do with the topic. I suppose the book should have been written in such a way so that one could not guess political bias. This is not a book about politics.

If one can sift through this, one can gather good information. Much of the information seems to be padding. There are long passages in which practical information is missing. This is esp. true in the first third of the book. What we get, instead, is an advertisement for the book being read-->"This book can help you. This book can save you. Let me give you an example... that example reminds me of another example of why this book is good for you...."

When practical information is given, it is very good, yet seems brief. The useful infomation is short (such as one page in a chapter). What makes up much of the book is theory and the author's personal cases.

What is lacking are illustrations of the practical information. Such would be very helpful, but such illustrations are few, replaced with examples to illustrate theory. These theories lend themselves to interjections of liberal points of view.

Here is an example. "I think we should talk about what to do if you are faced with a man pointing a gun at you. What should you do? Well, let me tell you the story of a case I was on involving a class that contained a student with a gun.... The point of this example was to show that these people did not have the tools to handle the situation. Now, if they had read this book they would have been prepared. You are reading this book and so you are prepared. This proves that we need gun control laws. Back to our situation. What should you do if you are faced with a man pointing a gun at you? We will deal with that in a later chapter. Until that time, let me give you another example of a case I worked on."

You get the point. There is useful information, but you have to search for it. The book could have been condensed quite a bit, and probably should have received such an edit.

Rating:
Summary: The best book of the subject!!!
Review: I do like this book. I am from Brazil and in my country violence is increasing. Our laws are inefficient and we are constantly looking for security by ourselves. This book save my mental health. I can be aware now without paranoia. Every chapter in this book is important. Thanks to Mr.Gavin to share his knowledge and the most important,knowledge that he learn with his life experience and not just reading books. This book is about everyday violence,facts that really happens. He teaches us how to identify signals of violence to avoid it. There isn't stupidity stuff in this book. The best chapter is the last. Read it carefully. I bought two:one that stays with me and another just for lending it to my friends.

Rating:
Summary: Do you get scared easily...
Review: About predators, molesters and other people that are out to get you and your family? Then read this book. It helps us tune in to our instinct in what makes us feel uncomfortable about people, and how that uncomfortableness may help save our lives. Gavin gives several examples from his own life and other people whom he has worked with on how their "gift of fear" helped save them from a high risk situation. Every female should read this book.

Rating:
Summary: A question of numerators and denominators
Review: Last weekend I stopped to help two stranded motorists and ended up inadvertently driving a prostitute all over town and helping one of the passengers obtain some drugs. I sheepishly told the story to a colleague, who said I have GOT to read "The Gift of Fear"

I finished it in two days. It is engaging and interesting: lots of sex and violence. The main thesis of the book is that violent acts do not occur without warning, and trusting and sharpening one's intuition (gut feeling) may save your life. The author recounts how he grew up in a violent home and founded on of the largest risk assessment agencies in the world; one that advices police, movie stars, the FBI, the CIA, and anyone else worried about a possible assailant. After recounting dozens of murders and rapes, he ends his book by warning about watching too much violence in television and becoming overly worried. In his afterward, he recounts tales of several people who have been helped by his book.

Now let me add a little of my own pop psychology: when one is in a conversation with another person, there are two useful things to ask yourself (other than the obvious question of veracity): why is the person telling me what they are and what are they not telling me that normally would be included.

So I'm going to pretend, that the book is the author's conversation. First the why. The author wants to warn us to protect us. But also he includes dozens of examples about how astute he and his agency are. He engages us by telling us that he too has been a victim. He tells us that one can always protect oneself if we use the teachings found in the book, and that in the future it is likely that genetic testing or chemical testing of another individual will do away with his computer test assessments. There is a bit of blaming the victim: they somehow put up blinders to the signals they were getting and they should have known. I've heard the same thing about holocaust victims, and it disturbs me.

Second: what is not told. All murders drank milk at one time in their lives, so milk drinking predicts violence. What is the chance of these same signals occuring in non violent situations? Which are really predictive in differentiating safe from unsafe situations? All people who shoot others have bought, borrowed, or stolen guns, so the absence of these totally predicts safety from being shot, but what is the actual risk from all persons that have a gun. How often to men stop to help a woman that is lifting a heavy suitcase and say "Let me help you with that" (when undoubtedly they should ask rather than say "May I help you") If one wants to talk to someone else, might one use the term "we" rather than "you" and "I" just out of the desire for conversation? These are grey areas.

But most importantly, what is left out is why we discount our intuitions and how we can recognise and correct this. The answer can be found in most con games: we discount our instincts out of pride, greed, habituation, ethical bent, etc. That really should have been directly discussed rather than briefly touched on in a disconnected way.

So if the conclusion is to be more attentive to our "gut feelings", the conclusion is the same as a hundred other self help books and somewhat banal. I would give this a 3/5 stars for engaging writing and some good insights into human nature and descriptions of details often left out of news reports. I wish he diminished his self promotion and scare tactics and had commented on frequency of PIM's in non dangerous situations.

Rating:
Summary: The Most Important Book I have Ever Read!
Review: This is the most important book I have ever read - I wish I could give it 10 stars. I am 32 years old and have had three stalking experiences. Two were mild...one was severe. I foolishly thought that, because I had survived those incidences, I was an expert in having it NOT happen again. As I read Gavin's book, I saw more and more that, not only was I clueless about how to protect myself, I was STILL making the same mistakes that landed me with stalkers to begin with.

I was brought up in a world where you respect others and are always kind and courteous. There *are* benefits to being kind and courteous. But I was doing it in the wrong situations. I would be approached by a man that had I had no interest in. Instead of telling him firmly and forcefully that I was NOT interested, I would smile and let them know that was really flattered and, well, who knows what the future would bring. In other words, I always tried to let them down easy. And so they would come back again and again. This was a pattern that happened over and over in my life.

My most serious stalking incident happened over ten years ago. Yet this person STILL contacts me. However, in the early years I handled it all wrong. My boyfriend at the time contacted him telling him to leave me alone. First I would hang up on him when he called. Next I had my number changed. Gavin's book showed me that everything I did to handle the situation could have potentially made the situation worse (it did!). I was threatened, harassed, made to constantly look over my shoulder. I can see now that I should have simply ignored the problem - not had anyone contact my stalker, not changed my number but instead have kept the number and just gotten an additional line. For the past 7 years, I have stopped reading the emails that this sick man sends me (I simply save them to a folder...unread). I never acknowledge his existence. That was the *only* right thing I have done in this situation.

Now that I have read this book, I feel better prepared to handle situations like have happened in the past. I will be firm in my 'no's!' and unwavering in my speech. This book has helped me learn the tricks of the trade. I am *not* a professional counselor. I am just a person who has had a rough time in the past with people wanting to take advantage of a female's kindness. Thanks to this book, I am far better prepared to handle situations in the future.

I think everyone should read this book. And everyone should give a copy to their loved ones. The Gift of Fear is a gift of empowerment!

Rating:
Summary: Worth Reading
Review: This Book was really good. It's not something that I would normally read, but my sister's teacher talked about it in class, and was commenting on how good it was. When I started it I wasn't really sure what it was going to be about. I thought maybe the entire book was just going to be a story about this girl, and then it went on to explain how she saved herself from death. I really liked how it was so descriptive, and that he did have stories in it. It wasn't just some dumb only informational book. I'm glad I decided to actually finish reading it.