Rating: Summary: DeBecker discusses this topic with undeniable authority... Review: After seeing Mr. DeBecker on a couple of programs, I purchased his book. His style of discussing the topic is flawless. I believe that we unwittingly squelch our intuition- to our detriment. I hope that this book can help people to see that we have instincts that are inbred. They are there to perform a necessary function and should not be discredited. One of the most important areas discussed is the difference between real fear and anxiety, imagination, stress, etc. I highly recommend this book to anyone that is interested in fear, intuition, crime...It is a wonderful and informative read that can help people
Rating: Summary: A great resource for anyone at risk from an intimate Review: The book concentrates largely on threat assessment, de
Becker's specialty--reading behavoral cues to gauge how likely someone
will be to initiate violence. It deals to a lesser extent with how to
handle people that your assessment tells you are going to be a
problem. De Becker systematically goes through cases where violence
aparrently came "out of the blue" and demonstrates that in each
situation, there were plenty of danger signals, and that the victim's
intuition had already registered these signals and communicated them
as feelings of uneasiness. People invariably knew that
something was out of place, but ignored the feelings. The book goes
on to inform the reader's intuition with an analytical breakdown of
danger signals in different environments: from strangers, stalkers,
angry employees, controlling spouses, obsessive fans, and people who
deliver death threats. The bottom line for de Becker is "listen to
your gut-level intuition"; people usually have a pretty acute sense
of when they are truly at risk.
The book's biggest shortcoming is that it deals only with the
above situations--where the potential aggressor is known to the
victim, or some kind of seduction is present before violence is
initiated. On page 61 de Becker writes:
"I haven't focused here on the criminal who simply walks
up, displays a weapon, and demands money. That is because he is
distinctly more obvious that those who use the strategies I've
described"
And with that farewell he abandons fifty percent of the violent crimes
in America to concentrate on the ones where threat assessment might
make a more substantial difference in the outcome. This can
unfortunately leave the reader with the impression that all crime is
avoidable, when in fact, the cases that don't fit his profiles
(interpersonal contact with victim precedes violence) haven't even
been discussed. Conspicuously absent are:
1. Any evaluation, pro or con, of firearms or other self-defense
precautions for personal protection, though indirectly he recommends IMPACT associates, who provide self-defense training for
women. This omission is unfortunate, because "get a gun" is
oft-quoted counsel for people at risk, and de Becker's perspective could make a difference.
2. Any analysis of victim selection in predatory crime, or
suggestions for avoiding appearing "victimizable." The latter is a
particularly unfortunate omission, since the perceived vulnerability
of a victim is a significantly influential factor in whether or
not they will be selected for violence, and it is something that
people can take definite action about.
The book is also remarkably short on suggestions about what to do
once you know someone means you ill. In only three scenarios does de
Becker have a set of proactive recommendations: firing an angry
employee, leaving an abusive spouse, and cutting off communications
with persistent or obsessive callers. His recommendations in these
cases are excellent, but in the rest of his examples (stalkings,
children known to be at sexual risk, violent assaults by
strangers, burglars in the house, credible death threats, persistent
violations of restraining orders, recreational assaults by teenagers)
he has very little to say beyond identifying risk factors. As my wife
pointed out, his primary, and recurring, scenario (that of Kelly, who,
knowing that she was going to be killed if she followed a rapist's
instructions to stay put, instead silently followed him down the
hallway and let herself out the door) is a fantasy of non-violent
conflict resolution. Far more common is the situation where the
threat is known, but options are uncertain. De Becker investigates
the situations where neighbors say "We had no idea; we would have
never suspected," but pays little attention to the countless
situations where the neighbors were expecting it all along, had known
for years that there was going to be trouble, and who it was going to come
from.
Because the fundamental conclusion of the book is correct: people
usually do have an accurate and powerful sense of their own
risk. If you go for a ride with the LAPD, they know who the
drug dealers and gangbangers and chronic offenders are, and often have
a good idea of who their victims will be. What to do about it--now,
there's a more difficult issue.
That said, I think this book is looking in the right direction:
victim empowerment. It's not a book for law enforcement or
professional security agencies--it's a book written for the individual
at risk. It emphasizes that you are the person who makes the
difference in your own security--especially in situations where the
probable aggressor is someone you know. It encourages people not to
participate in their own victimization, and repeatedly shows that in
critical moments in the commission of crimes, you are the only person
who can make the difference. His information on threat assessment is
excellent, written with the honest intention of giving the reader
enough intelligence to take to recognize risk when they see it and to
take proactive steps toward their own security. I highly recommend
this book to anyone with an interest.
Other recommended reading: John Douglas, _Mindhunter_, and
Robert Ressler _Whoever Fights Monsters_ (on the FBI's profiling of
serial criminals); Paxton Quigley, _Not an Easy Target: A Women's
Guide to Self-Protection_ (on victim selection and pragmatic threat
avoidance); Linden Gross, _To Have and to Harm: True Stories of
Stalkers and their Victims_.
Rating: Summary: Trust your intuition, buy this book, Review: This is that rare animal a book that is both fascinating and useful. The vital life saving uses of intuition are explained brilliantly and this knowledge can apply to every corner of your life. This is a self help book that really helps, so help yourself to it. Good and useful advice is a rare commodity on the planet. I strongly recommend you read it.
Eric Idle
Rating: Summary: Gratitude to readers Review: I want to express my gratitude to those Amazon patrons and others who have put The Gift of Fear at the Number One position on the USA TODAY Bestseller list, the Number One position on the Wall Street Journal list, and the Number Three position in sales at Amazon. The ideas and philosophies of The Gift of Fear are reaching people who can benefit, and helping to make people feel safer, be safer, and as important, feel less unwarranted fear. Thanks again to each of you who have been part of the success of this book.
Gavin de Becke
Rating: Summary: This book is a must for everyone Review: This book is clear and concise, and it contains viable information we can all use. I've purchased five extra copies for my friends and family
Rating: Summary: A necessary part of your personal & professional library. Review: Gavin de Becker does an excellent job of sharing his experience in dealing with topics of understanding threats, predicting violence, workplace violence, stalking, domestic violence, and more. This book will shed new light in an area of our society where unwanted pursuits and violent behavior seem to be a part of our every day existence
Rating: Summary: A must read! Review: This book should be required reading for every woman in America. Actually, every person in America. This book is not just for women. Although this book is mainly directed to women, it can help everyone. I am a man who has made the decision to carry a concealed weapon to protect myself. But carrying a gun doesn't make you safe. If someone sticks a gun in your face, there's not much you can do. But after reading this book, I should be able to foresee a potential threat and be able to react proactively to protect myself and loved ones. I recommend this book to everyone that can read (and those who don't there is an audio tape)
Rating: Summary: Now I am glad I'm a mean bitch Review: Everyone should read this book if they care about themselves. Now that my hair has finally stopped standing on end, I can tell you I recognized my first husband, my brother-in-law, several guys I dated, and, scariest of all, I man at work who goes on lots of blind dates. My advice to women who travel has always been "when in doubt, say "get away from me," and I've done that a few times. I used to feel guilty about saying what I wanted. After reading "The Gift of Fear," I'm feeling incredibly lucky that I survived my first marriage. de Becker's book puts into words that anyone can understand that mysterious gift that we all have to recognize the "wrong" in a situation. The recent trend to sell people a belief that workplace violence is rampant is suspect. "The Gift of Fear" is a book on this topic that speaks to the issues frankly, honestly, and without pandering to our fears. I'm wondering why a man was the one who was able to explain women's intuition as a viable survival tool, and get the book published! Thank you, Mr. de Becker.
Pam
Rating: Summary: Required Reading: police, DV counselors, people who care Review: Read this book! So many people have been looking for answers about how to protect themselves from the most dangerous form of violent behavior: that involving acquaintances and obsessives. "The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence," is clearly destined to become the primer on threat management and violence prevention.
Gavin de Becker, the nation's best known personal security expert, provides a series of very readable case studies of obsessed, violence committing criminals. The result is effective guidelines for recognizing and managing potentially violent relationships.
Anyone who has faced the horrors of domestic violence, stalking, workplace violence, or persistent pursuit someone with romantic interests, will receive the best threat management plan available anywhere.
It is REQUIRED READING by law enforcement and probation officers, domestic violence counselors, attorneys and judges, legislators, anyone is has been or has known a victim of violence, and everyone who wants to avoid victimization. And please, after you read it, give it to your children before they leave for college.
Rating: Summary: Required Reading: police, DV counselors, people who care Review: Read this book! So many people have been looking for answers about how to protect themselves from the most dangerous form of violent behavior: that involving acquaintances and obsessives. "The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence," is clearly destined to become the primer on threat management and violence prevention. Gavin de Becker, the nation's best known personal security expert, provides a series of very readable case studies of obsessed, violence committing criminals. The result is effective guidelines for recognizing and managing potentially violent relationships. Anyone who has faced the horrors of domestic violence, stalking, workplace violence, or persistent pursuit someone with romantic interests, will receive the best threat management plan available anywhere. It is REQUIRED READING by law enforcement and probation officers, domestic violence counselors, attorneys and judges, legislators, anyone is has been or has known a victim of violence, and everyone who wants to avoid victimization. And please, after you read it, give it to your children before they leave for college.
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