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Summary: A must read for women, parents and men who give a ....
Review: Finally, someone has validated and verified what I've always known...and depended on. Read this first and then get Protecting the Gift and give it to everyone you know with children. It's just too important! Do not fall for the failing social assumptions...You will always know when you are in danger and be able to really protect your family. My intuition has saved me countless times when all around me told me I was nuts to be so paranoid...Heck, I was a bartender...I always knew who was really dangerous! Thanks Gavin, everyone thought I was ?...then later, they changed their attitude...why do you have to fight so hard for sensible safety? Go figure...
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Summary: A MUST READ FOR WOMEN!!
Review: All women, and especially those that live in urban areas shouldread this book. Trust your common sense and intuition.
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Summary: A must for anyone who interacts with other humans.
Review: This is a well written, fairly quick read that I would suggest for anyone who is, or knows, or could be someone who has ever been a "victim". It very well could be the information that saves you or someone you love. Knowledge is power!
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Summary: A fascinating journey into our own survival
Review: I was amazed at the impact of this book. Although deBecker tends to sometimes stray into stroking his own ego with fabulous celebrity clients (somewhat a la John Douglas), those were the only weaknesses in an otherwise magnificent book about survival. This book did more than just inform me; it provided me with the key knowledge that my instincts to survive have been what's saved me. I'd always thought I had escaped danger because of quirks of fate, but deBecker shows that we escape danger when we listen to our own inner voices. deBecker shows us all how to listen to our own intuition......and gives fantastic survival examples in the process. I'd highly recommend this book, particularly because deBecker gives hard, concrete examples from which we can truly learn, rather than esoteric discussions which leave us wondering, "How do I do it?" deBecker gives us this information in black-and-white, and in examples that are easily understood and easily followed. I don't, however, mean to make this book sound simplistic. DeBecker's writing style is excellent. In many ways, this book reads like a true crime survival novel....but, in fact, the survival we're reading and learning about is our own.
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Summary: Fear isn't such a bad thing-especially if it's used wisely!
Review: Everyone can find something of use in this book. So many times, we are taught that being afraid is a sign of weakness and so, we should ignore all the signals. The book explains the reasons for fear and shows you how to use it for protection from danger. It also supported the course of action that I took when dealing with a persistant and annoying suitor. This person helped me destroy a valuable friendship and he couldn't understand why I no longer wanted to see him. His constant calls at work started to frighten me because unlike most people who would get the message and leave me alone; he would keep at it as if nothing was wrong. Members of my family and some of my co-workers told me to just hang up on him and not to talk to him at all. The author (De Becker) supports this action and explains why. This person still calls me, but his calls are becoming more and more infrequent and I feel so much better when I don't talk to him. When I tried to reason with this person, I felt miserable and horrible. Now, I still get a little upset, but I can still go about my day-to-day business with little interruption. De Becker addresses a person's natural inclination to try and help a person understand your feelings when they will not listen to you. He also tells you to trust your instincts when dealing with these situations. My instincts told me that this suitor would not become violent if I just ignored him. My instincts proved to be right. I have not been in physical contact with this person for almost two years and he hasn't tried to find out my home address and phone and he hasn't started to stalk me. My instincts told me that he was so desperate for my attention that he didn't care whether it was negative or positive. Any communication (neg. or pos.) on my part would have been intrepreted as a sign that I wanted him and he would have been encouraged to do more than he's doing now to contact me. By my silence, there's no encouragement and there's no room for him to twist my words or actions. As this book says, people like this have many issues in their lives and when they pursue others who are not interested in them, this is a way for them to ignore their problems. When you ignore them, you are forcing them to either deal with these issues or find somebody else to bother. Also, this book showed me the signs that would have put an immediate stop on this suitor if I had just paid more attention. Granted the relationship we had was inappropriate and that should have stopped me from the beginning, but this person gave me signals of potentially bigger problems. From the beginning, my instincts were telling me this, but I ignored them. The fact that he found out my name and phone number at work without asking me, the way he introduced himself, and the way he tried to manipulate my emotions and make me feel guilt and obliged to him without any cause were all warnings signs mentioned in this book. Unforunately, I made a big mistake with this person and I have to deal with occasional phone calls. However, considering all the damage that I caused, I'm fortunate that annoying phone calls every once in awhile is the only thing I have to deal with (my former friend could have made my life so much more difficult, but she chose to be "nice"). However, one of the biggest things that this book teaches you is that you can not always control who contacts you. However, if you take the appropriate actions, you can greatly minimize the chances that a difficult situation can escalate into a serious crime.
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Summary: This book may save your life.
Review: This is a profound, original, & fascinating book which should be absolutely required reading in school, and is especially critical for women. I have been recommending it to everyone I know, and buying copies for female friends who have run up against some of the difficulties trusting their intuition that Gavin de Becker explains so brilliantly. Especially important to share these principles with your children. Don't walk--run! to read this book.
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Summary: This is the most important book I've read in a long time.
Review: My personal library numbers over 5000 books in a wide variety of categories. The single most important book in that library is Gavin de Becker's "The Gift of Fear." I particularly appreciated the sections on stalking. This book is a bible for everyone who has ever been in an uncomfortable relationship, for everyone who has ever felt that something in a situation is just "off," and for every woman who has ever been afraid and had nowhere to turn. I read this book and it felt as though Mr. de Becker was personally reaching out and comforting me. This book is empowering. This book tells women that "No" is a sentence in and of itself. This book is required reading. If you asked me who has done the most for women in this century, I would answer unequivocally, Gavin de Becker.
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Summary: A book to live by!
Review: I can't say enough good things about this book and Mr. De Becker's other book, Protecting the Gift. Words of wisdom from someone who has experienced violence firsthand and has used this experience to protect others. The information in this book is practical and proven. You will feel safer and more confident after reading The Gift of Fear, because you will know that violence is predictable and not just something that happens out-of-the-blue. And you will have the tools to help you predict violence and avoid it. A great book!
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Summary: I Lived this Book
Review: When I was 8 I was raped by my best friend's 16 year old brother. I remember before it happened getting a feeling that I should leave, but I didn't yet know how to listen or trust myself. I don't blame myself for what happened, but I now know how to keep it from happening again, to me or to my children. A few years later, I was approached by a man at the swimming pool. He wanted me to go to his house and listen to music. I didn't feel right about this and lied and said I couldn't because my mother was coming soon. I now know I probably saved my life that day. I recommend Mr. DeBecker's book to everyone I meet. I feel it is the best thing out there. Before I read the book I had all sorts of irrational fears. There were times I slept with my bedroom door locked and the light on. The night after I read this book, that was no longer necessary. I am not nearly as skitish as I once was. Now I trust my insides to alert me to real danger. The only thing I can say to Mr. DeBecker is THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. You made a difference to this survior's life.
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Summary: BUY THIS BOOK!
Review: I bought this book for help dealing with a stalking ex-lover. Six months later, I was accosted by a stranger. What I learned probably saved me from harm or death. I got away in spite of the stupid things I did putting myself in harm's way in the first place. Thank you Gavin.
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