Rating: 
Summary: NOT JUST ABOUT SEX! Get this to help your relationship!
Review: A friend of mine gave me this book as a gift. I couldn't put it down! THIS IS NOT A SEX MANUAL, IT IS A RELATIONSHIP BOOK. This is an EXCELLENT guide to how to combat issues in your relationship and incidentally, fixing issues your relationship will lead to better sex. Just like quantum theory in which each part represents the whole, what's happening in your bedroom is a reflection of bigger issues that are affecting your whole relationship. This book approaches such issues with a refreshing NEGATION of what society and therapists generally tell you to do. The paradoxes of life are aptly and succinctly stated and this book gives you footing to deal with the paradoxes in a healthy way. I can't recommend this book more highly. This is the best RELATIONSHIP book I've ever read. I even told my 60 year old mother to buy it.
Rating: 
Summary: Boring reading. It should be half as long as it is.
Review: In Dr. Schnarch's attempt to create a "layman's" book on enhancing your marriage and sexlife has missed the mark. It is a tedious read at best. He does have some good insights, but attempting to glean them from all the verbage was difficult to say the least. Unless you have a lot of time on your hands to wade through his material I suggest you find a book that is more readable.
Rating:
Summary: Absolutely the most relevant book I have read...
Review: I have been searching for years for an explaination of my own sexuality and its meaning in marriage. I have read innumerable articles, books and even talked to psychologists and sex therapists. Nothing made sense. But this did. I finally feel that I have a BELIEVABLE framework in which to operate. It is the first book on sexual relationships that did not cater to technique and made sex something more than just "physical drive".Some of the previous reviews talk about the ideas being common sense. I would heartily disagree! Although some things may seem more obvious after the fact, I considered this the first time that an author on this subject actually told me something and presented a viewpoint that I didn't have before. If your relationship is already in gridlock, then nothing in here is common. Be warned: The text is more philisophical than manual. I feel it gave me a better understanding of how things worked, not how to fix them. There are not a whole lot of "do this and you will get result X" type of language. And, as with any book of this nature, your spouse or significant other has to be in the process. This does not make it bad. But if you are looking for quick fixes and "to-dos", look elsewhere. The book leads you towards a new way of thinking and approaching marriage and sex. That said, I will re-emphasize that having your SO involved is required to make any progress. I have actually been to see Dr. Moorehouse. My spouse went with me after a bit of cajoling. I was impressed with her more than any other person I have seen while trying to work through our issues. I am hoping to go back soon. If you are looking for perspective and understanding, this is the place.
Rating:
Summary: Complex, but helpful
Review: My husband and I have read Dr Schnarch's book separately, and are now reading it together. Although it is not the most well-written book I have ever read, the information is enlightening. Most everything he says makes total sense, it's just not easy putting all of these logical ideas into every day use. I guess that's why it takes hard work to keep a marriage on track. This is definately a book you'll need to read several times to fully absorb all of the information.
Rating: 
Summary: Bad writing, GREAT content
Review: This book reads as if the author simply hid away for a few weeks and wrote out everything he knows as one big stream of consciousness. It is desperately in need of a good editor, who can both trim the extraneous content as well as organize what is there in to a consumable form. Several times in the book a section heading begins a new topic, only to end somewhere else completely by the time the section is completed. The notion of "beginning - middle - end" seems to be lost on both the author and the editor (presuming there was one). Once I moved past the lack of organization, bad grammar, spelling errors, and tangential thinking, I found a book that was rich in valuable content that, when applied in a responsible way, has made huge contributions to my relationship. I have recommended this book to several friends, whether they're in "good" relationships or not. I have to caveat my recommendation with a note about the poor writing quality and structure, but I am an enthusiastic supporter and grateful beneficiary of David Schnarch's teachings and work. The personal and relationship development techniques that Schnarch teaches are invaluable. They have made a substantial, positive contribution to my ability to show up as an authentic participant in my relationship with my self, and with my wife. I recommend this book to anyone interested in developing a more genuine sense of self-respect, and in developing a better relationship with a partner.
Rating:
Summary: Profound!
Review: The most helpful and hopeful book I've read on the subject. I'm now in my second reading of it, and still learning more. Schnarch really cuts to the essentials when dealing with his patients; I'm especially impressed with his ability to reach both partners in a marriage without resorting to blame and shame. And, as a 52 year old woman, and I can attest to his belief that one's capacity for sexual fulfillment and intimacy grow as we age!
Rating:
Summary: Very disappointing
Review: I found this book to be misleadingly named and described, even considering the rave reviews. It's a highly conceptual and philosophical discussion on the nature of love, marriage, relationships, etc. and, while I agree with most of his observations, most of them seem common sense and not very surprising. And the writing is redundant and dense. Despite expressing his thoughts in numerous ways, the authors' points often are still not clearly expressed. This book could have been compressed into two-thirds of the pages. The numerous examples he provides of couples he has treated are of people who seem incredibly immature and dysfunctional. If you're a reasonably well-adjusted, mature person simply looking to spice up a longer-term relationship, you won't find much help here.
Rating:
Summary: the dispensing of pretext is a great addition
Review: The wonderful thing about this book is its willingness to drop the pretensions that we force upon ourselves in real conversation to deal honestly with problems, and to dare to teeter into the erotic to point out possible solutions. For those who have difficulty expressing these aspects of their lives ,the book is a wonderful change of pace that doesn't seek to just tell you to "get over your hangups."
Rating: 
Summary: You know, he's right
Review: Finally, a therapist who gets it: intimacy is all about BOUNDARIES. Marriage is usually sold as a "two become one" approach to life -- which a) doesn't work and b) kills passion dead. Schnarch invites couples to see it another way: I'm over here, you're over there, and the bed is where we meet in the middle.
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Summary: Recognizing one's responsiblity for feelings and behaviors
Review: Clearly, Schnarch's emphasis is on differentiating one's self from their marital partner creating an actual desire [a wanting] rather than a need. By differentiating, a person suddenly becomes rather than depends by self-validating through what Schnarch's calls fusion. It was wonderful to read that most people marry because of childhood insecurities [at least someone admits to this]. The sexual content of this book didn't mean as much to me as the last few chapters. Although, I truly believe the sexual content of this book helps couples to connect. I was very happy that my partner's therapist suggested we both read this book after a year and a half of therapy due to a well kept secret of childhood sexual abuse. We have found this book to be one of the best.
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