Rating: 
Summary: Survivors Need Each Other
Review: ... Keeping something so traumatic and life altering a secret, as a young child, because you are scared and confused, is torture. To live with that kind of isolation is like sentencing a child to jail for the rest of its life. As a survivor, I am a very sensitive person and have cried for victims such as the Jews in Auschwitz, and would never deny the pain and atrocity that they underwent. But luckily for them, they had each other to share in their experiences. No matter how good or bad a situation, being able to share and talk about it makes all the difference. With childhood victims, they have noone with which to share. And as adults, they question everything, whether they are sane and if their memories are true; who they can talk to, if anyone; if their loved ones can accept them and handle it; if they can trust anyone again; dealing with denial from the perpetrator; and shame for having lived through such awful, personal, intimate experiences, with noone to say it's ok, or to make it stop - not until years later. Being abused as a child is so different from any other victimization and shouldn't be compared. Could you imagine never being able to trust a parent or sibling again (not an enemy but a loved family member) and fearing the breakup of your family and every sense of home you've ever know - good or bad? Bass and Davis should be applauded for caring enough to share with other brave women about what they can do to be whole again and to conquer their fears. Perhaps I appreciated it more that they weren't professionals, because I felt that, personally, they knew what they were talking about.
Rating:
Summary: Courage to Heal
Review: I found this book to be extremely helpful and necessary as part of my therapy to recover from my father's incestuous behavior with me. To those who believe that is just a made-up issue, come into my life. There is NOTHING more devastating to be 4 years old, have your father --the man you idolize, put his finger (then force his penis) into your vagina, tell you it won't hurt and this is the way all daddies show how much they love their daughters. This behavior continued (with my mother's knowledge) until I was almost 12 when I finally said NO and told him I would tell his commanding officer if he EVER touched me again. The damage, however, was done the first time he touched my vagina inappropriately. I am 45 years old and have spent my life covering for him, hiding my feelings and watching myself enter into many, many unsuccessful and unhealthy relationships. I have healed alot along the way through occasional therapy and reading alot, but this book has been the MOST helpful I have EVER read. Now that I am in the most wonderful, warm, loving relationship I have ever enjoyed and want to give myself fully to my fiance' I find that I am having trouble with true intimacy. I can't play act anymore. This book is reaffirming and has shown me that I am not alone (! ) and that I can recover and establish the kind of life that I have dreamed of my entire life. I feel freer now and more loved and lovable than I ever have. If you are the victim of incest, sexual abuse or if you love someone who is, PLEASE, I IMPLORE YOU, read this book! The life you discover is worth the turmoil you will go through. This book walks you through it and has a plethora of helpful information through information and writing exercises, that you will find beneficial. Good luck with your healing!
Rating:
Summary: This was the beginning of my recovery
Review: You can ignore those who do not beleieve in repressed memory - for they are too deep in their own issues to handle the truth. This book was the first to help me back on my feet. I spent 25 horrifying years as the victim of my father's rape and mutilation. I was unable to even cope with living as a normal person. I was filled with justifications and excuses, pumped into me by my mother to cover the truth. This book helped me start over. I would not be a sucessful member of society if it were not for the aid from this and others like it. If you are a victim - it will help you become a survivor like me! The thing I can't stress enough from this book is that if you have feelings that something happened there is a REASON for that. Just because your memory has been brainwashed over or shoved back so that you could deal - doesn't mean it didn't happen.
Rating:
Summary: This Book Helped Me as no Clinical Article or Book Did
Review: [I was] sexually abused me from ages 8 - 12. Until I took over the medical library at Fort Huachuca, AZ, I had no name for what happened to me. For nearly 9 years I read my library's professional articles and books on child sexual abuse and former abuse. I acknowledged, with intellectual interest, that many of the adult patients' symptoms applied to me. What I learned didn't prompt me to seek treatment for the incest. In fact, I ran away from therapy when my therapist wanted me to deal with the incest instead of just my depression. Then, in 1990, our Community Mental Health Service ordered THE COURAGE TO HEAL. While I was checking to make sure all of pages were there, I started reading the book. Yes, CMHS unknowingly had to wait two or three more days to get their order because I *HAD* to get through this book. Its first-person accounts affected me in a way those clinical reports never had. [After reading the book] I knew I could no longer deny that the abuse was still affecting me. When I got to work the next day, I asked for help. I got it. It wasn't easy. The authors are correct to use the word "courage." Working through the abuse was the hardest thing I ever did. I think I shed 30 years' worth of tears in the second year of therapy. I won't pretend I'm the person I would have been if I'd never been abused, but I am stronger and better than I would have been if I'd gone on pretending it was all in the past. I've learned to fight for myself. If ever I forget how much I've changed, I have only to read my old diaries to know I'm not the whimpering mouse I was. I'm so glad I read this book. I'm also glad that I have such ready access to professional resources on child sexual abuse. That's how I know I don't have to fear that I was mislead by what THE COURAGE TO HEAL showed me.
Rating:
Summary: Most Informative and Reliable Source of Info
Review: Dear Sir, I found "The Courage to Heal" to be a most informative and reliable source of information at a period when I was struggling with dealing with the effects of the sexual abuse of my partner when she was a child. I would publically commend Ellen Bass and Laura Davis on their comprehensive work.
Rating:
Summary: An indispensable book-
Review: The Courage To Heal saved my life when I was trying to deal with the trauma of abuse. There is something that will speak to anyone who has been a victim or a survivor and I cannot recommend this book enough. If you or someone you know is dealing with abuse, this book will help.
Rating:
Summary: A must for any survivor for sexual abuse
Review: Excellent, informative book. Words are not enough. Can't say enough about this book. There aren't enough books on the subject but this is excellent. We are victims no more, we are survivors. We have control over our lives now, not the person who hurt us. We have the choice to forgive or not to forgive. this book made me realize why I did things I actually shouldn't have but made me realize I am not stupid or crazy. I still have a long way to go but I will get there. No matter what the abuse was or the length of it was, it still hurts. I want to thank the authors for writing this book. I gave a copy to my now xboyfriend to understand me but he was too ignorant. A must for any survivor.
Rating:
Summary: "Hey, that's me!"
Review: I was so surprised to find so many things while reading that I related to personally. I couldn't wait to start reading because I identified so much and was able to learn I was not alone and found ways to make myelf better and not controlled. I thank my therapist for telling about this book, I don't think I could live without it.
Rating:
Summary: Excellent Book - Extremely Helpful!
Review: When I read this book, I realized that the feelings and thought I had were reckoginzed and that others shared the same pains that I had. It was a very useful and helpful tool in my recovery. It was also a great help in family situation. I let other friends and family members read the book, and they could better understand what I was going through and knew how to better support me.
Rating:
Summary: Wonderful Book - HIGHLY recommended!
Review: This is a classic, a MUST-READ book for anyone who is interested in learning about healing from the trauma of childhood sexual abuse. I cannot offer enough praise to these two courageous women. The book is well-written, easy to read and provides excellent, sensitive advice on how to begin the healing process. BRAVO to these authors for speaking the truth!
|
