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Summary: Identifies what is and how to deal with it just as well
Review: This book explains many types of emotional abuse IN DETAIL and with vivid examples and sometimes dialogue. I could totally see myself in the dialogues and even predict the next line. The greatest attribute of the book is the fact that Susan dedicated the first half to identifying the problem (toxic parents make you think you are crazy when thinking "this is wrong," hence leading the child into confusion and distortion of reality) and assuring the reader that specific behavors indeed ARE dysfunctional. The second half of the book takes the reader into the process of dealing with this phenomenon now. The book's best "feature" is the fact that she tells you realistically what not to expect from them upon confrontation. Expect denial and NOTHING GOOD! and helps you deal with that too.
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Summary: Dennis' Review
Review: Although I don't come from alcoholic parents and they don't leave close to me, this book helped me to understand the different types of manipulations that they use consciously or unconsciously to control their children. It helped me to identify some of those and to be able to take a vacation from them without hurting their feelings. Also, since I read this book I can deal with them at a different level and far more effectively.
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Summary: Revealing, even for those who have escaped the madness!
Review: In this informative and compelling volume, Dr. Forward lucidly explains the fundamental problems underlying many people's inability to elicit love, support, and understanding from their own parents. Her use of case histories from beginning, confrontation, and healing process illustrates how people can claim true adulthood and release themselves from toxic parental bondage.From those who live with daily emotional reminders of parental abuse to those who believe that they had perfect parents, although sense some inner, unidentifiable resentment, Toxic Parents can help readers to claim their rightful dignity. Do not be put off by the recommendation to confront abusive parents. Forward does not promise or even hint that such parents will understand or apologize. In fact, she makes it very clear that they most likely will deny and explode, but this confrontation is above all for the adult child's progression towards self-definition and emotional independence. Those of you who had parents (or a parent)who abused you in any manner, but whom others considered a paragon of virtue, sweetness and light, this book is especially for you. Dr. Forward emphasizes that the child (then or now) is not crazy or bad, despite what others observe as apparent truth and that it is typical for outsiders to take the parents' side, since they do not have complete information. Not everyone, however, will benefit from Forward's highly practical wisdom. In the unlikely event that staunch authoritarians (Is there any other kind?), including toxic parents themselves, read this book, it will give them hours -- perhaps even years -- of anger, brooding, and denial fodder, for which they should be very grateful.
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Summary: great book! very helpful and informative!
Review: I am impressed beyond words at this book. Not only did it validate my feelings that things done to me by my parents were abusive, but it is helping me to get on with my life and break the hold they have over me. Very easy to understand and well written. The author talks in a straightforward manner, but also with a gentleness and understanding that adults in this situation need! I recommend this book to anyone who has suffered childhood abuse of all kinds, and who wants to heal those old wounds.
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Summary: Mommie Dearest
Review: Susan has really opened up my eyes with this book. All of the things that " Mommie Dearest" was blaming me for and calling me names was really part of an illness she has. Her behavior hurt me and my family a lot, I wish she would seek help, but she feels that there is nothing wrong with her.
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Summary: Well-Meaning Advice
Review: I read this book ten years ago, when it came out in hardback. This is a good book in the aspect that tells the reader that he/she is not alone in dealing with abusive parents. One of the exercises in Toxic Parents suggests that you talk to the less intimidating of your parents. So, I tried to talk to my mother. She blew me off. At the time, I was very upset and disappointed with this book's advice, which obviously failed. Or, perhaps it was my approach. At any rate, I learned that everybody has their own style and pace in dealing with dysfunctional behavior. Another warning: some of the stories may stir up strong emotions.
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Summary: dealing with in-laws
Review: This book was very inciteful since my wonderful husband was literally destroying himself with overeating as a result of my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law is a very controlling, domineering, manipulative person who would rather see her son my husband alone and 400 pounds than happy with me and our sons because when he was alone he paid most of his attention to her but was unhappy and unloved. My mother-in-law loves my husband so long as he does everything her way and would do anything in the way of manipulating him to get me away from him but thanks in part to the book and great comunication he refuses to by into it anymore and basically cut himself off from her and is much healthier as a result he has recently had a gastric bypass to lose weight and lost over 60 lbs in a month and a half and is on his way to being whole again. Thank you for writing a book that had to be written and helping people like my husband deal with destructive parents!!!!!
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Summary: Mommie DEAREST
Review: Reading Toxic Parents was the beginning of along journey. I was absolutely shocked at the things my parents did to me that caused me so much pain. Confronting them worked for me,but it made them even more angry and hateful. I've been in therapy for over two years, trying to resolve a lot of these issues which I still can't talk about. Please e-mail me at dll1983@yahoo.com. Just to talk. I'd love to hear from you.
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Summary: Backing away from the razor's edge...
Review: I just got this book this weekend, and it was a soul-searching weekend. I ran away at 19, after the emotional and physical abuse, from a father and stepmother, and having to raise two younger siblings. I have struggled with nightmares, bad relationships, alcohol, and six years ago, thoughts of ending my life which resulted in me being on the wrong side of razor blade, and having to be in a hospital. I've since been treated for Panic Disorder, and take medication...but I didn't know where to go from just taking meds. This book, although my dreams were graphic, got me started writing out in letter form all the garbage I've been carrying. And it feels good, although intense. I'm not finished...I can answer yes to all but one of Dr. Forward's questions, under the anger section, so I've got a ways to go...but, I offer thanks for her writing this book. My emotions have either been locked up, or explosive, and I want to be free of this emotional battleground/tightrope I've been walking for 36 years.
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Summary: A book to return to again and again...
Review: I bought this book when it first came out. I was passing the bookstore at the mall when the title nearly shouted out at me: buy me, buy me. Buy it I did.. and my life took a radical turn in direction from that day on. I read half the book in my first sitting with it. I discovered with a sense of enormous gratitude that I was not alone. There are other people out there with situations like me. I was in counseling already to deal with the pain and effects of an abusive childhood - this book was a gift from God to help me continue to grow. The person who abused me emotionally and physically is still alive. Though Dr. Forward's counsel taught me techniques to use to be an adult when around my parent figure, over the years since I first bought the book, I have returned to it for refueling and further instruction. It is hard to break a pattern that has been ingrained for so long!! I recommend this book to any adult who has experienced abuse at the hands of a parent or parent figure. You will not only discover that you're not alone - you can also let go of the deep, dark family secret. You will understand that you aren't to blame - you were just the child in the midst of a horrible, jumbled mess. You will be affirmed that you are a person of worth and given tools to use to be an effective parent to your own children as well as tools to assist you in coming face-to-face with the parent figure. I agree with an earlier reviewer that full and complete confrontation may not be immediately necessary. However, in my case, confrontation has come along in small doses - and Dr. Forward's instruction has been very helpful as those times have come and gone. I am grateful I discovered the book and broke the legacy when my child was but a wee one. Thank you Dr. Forward!!! If you are still dealing with the effects of a painful childhood, buy the book now!!
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