Rating:  Summary: a must read Review: as someone whose spouse has recently had an affair, I have been scouring the bookshelves for topical books. This one stands out both for its balanced approach to the problem as well as interesting insights. A must read for any who is currently in the midst of or recovering from this painful process.
Rating:  Summary: It gave words to my feelings I have been unable to express. Review: This book has helped my partner and I make the decisions to forge ahead and rebuild our marriage. Rather than just offereing empty hope, this book offers insights to all aspects of what each of us felt during the healing process. Some topics, although not applicable, provided insights into other aspects of our marriage. It would have been great to read this book years ago, when we first got married or had our first falling out.
Rating:  Summary: Practical and bang-on post-mortem for infidelity Review: The title says it all. A concise, precisely descriptive book which sifts through the torrent of mixed feelings engendered by the earthquake of marital infidelity. Evenhanded and non-patronizing, the practical guide isn't a replacement for counselling, but offers what I found to be the next best thing and a supplement to the couples work we're undergoing. This book gave me words for the indescribable, all the extremes of emotion that had been confusing me since the discovery of the affair. The anecdotes showed that others in my position, that of the cheated one, were undergoing the same or worse upheavals. If marital discontent is today's maladie and infidelity epidemic, then commonsense, practical books such as this apply much needed salve to these gaping wounds in society
Rating:  Summary: A tremendous help for my broken heart. Review: When I found out from my 7-year-old that my husband had
been having an affair with our babysitter
in front of our children, I was devastated.
A professional recommended After the Affair to both of
us. I can't tell you what it has done to help me sort
out my feelings. This book has also helped my
husband to sort out his feelings as well.
As to whether I can rebuild trust in him, the jury is out.
However, this book as definately helped me through the
worst part of my life with practical, sound information
on the feelings I had immediatley after learning of the
affair. In sum, I found out my feelings (which ranged
from two completely different spectrums of love/hate,
courage/fear, protectiveness/vulnerability, etc. were
completely normal. I wasn't going crazy!
I'd recommend it to anybody on either side of the equation - or even those with suspicions or thoughts
of having an affair.
Rating:  Summary: Affairs not bad?Seriously lacks compassion/understanding Review: Perfect for making the betrayer feel better -- see 5 star reviews are often from betrayers not the betrayed.This is rough reading from the start. In the intro chapter, the author makes the statement that she doesn't classify affairs as bad or good. She then proceeds to formally state that both partners are responsible for the affair occuring. Not responsible for issues in the relationship, but directly responsible for the affair. For many this is pure baloney!!! She has very little compassion for the betrayed and it is clear even in the intro. If you are the betrayer, you will love this book. If you are the betrayed, this book may actually be traumatic to read. You will feel no empathy from Spring. She talks about people who are essentially describing how they feel they have been disemboweled and their guts are everywhere as 'normal' and again w/o empathy. She practically says, see those intestines, that is normal, now step over the mess and lets proceed with how they helped cause the betrayal. I continued reading until I really couldn't take it anymore. I think it is written so callously it is scary. It is perfect for the betrayer who doesn't want to feel too bad. So if you are the spouse who did not cheat, tread cautiously, you may actually find yourself feeling really betrayed by Spring as well.
Rating:  Summary: My review of After . . . Review: AFTER THE AFFAIR is a must read if you are struggling in the aftermath of an affair. It provides such a great insight on why things happen and really challenges to explore your heart and feelings. Another great thing about it is that it does not place outright blame on one party or another, looks at both spouses perspectives of the situation and gives the necessary tools to start rebuilding. Things that other people, family, therapists, etc. may have told you a hundred times but never really made sense become clear with reading this book. It has helped me very much so far and my friends are now reading it as well. Other books I recently read and enjoyed were: THE LOVELY BONES, LUCKY, and THE CHILDREN'S CORNER by Jackson McCrae.
Rating:  Summary: Wonderful book! Review: I kissed another guy about several months ago and my boyfriend and I are still dealing with the ramifications. This book has been an amazing tool for the both of us to use in analyzing our relationship. Are we going to make it through? I sure hope so!
Either way I think this book is excellent for couple to use as a way to get each other to talk about wants, needs, and what cheating means to each other.
I am so grateful to have read this book.
Rating:  Summary: If you realize your part, this is the right book Review: I asked for an open relationship because I didn't want a committment but didn't realize I fell in love with my boyfriend. When he started hooking up with his ex, I broke up with him. He insisted that he played by the rules but psychologically to me he had an affair since I stopped seeing other guys and he for three months couldn't decided between the two of us. We are back together after he picked her and later realized that he wanted me more, so I still feel hurt but I realized I need to get over this and let go of all that happen but the hurt was so deep I still couldn't completely pull out of depression and still obsessed about his "affair". After reading the book, it made me realize that what I was going thru is normal and helped me slowly get better. The author doesn't judge who's right or wrong, so in my situation where my boyfriend definitely doesn't see himself doing any wrong can read it and be able to understand what I was/am going thru. People who are the one hurt looking for sympathy probably want to read another book first. But if you want to work on the relationship and seemed to get stuck not able to let go, this is a great book to read.
Rating:  Summary: callous Review: This book is dangerous reading for the betrayed spouse, who is already questioning every ounce of self esteem they possess. The betrayed spouse is left feeling more humiliated and devastated, while the cheating spouse is given justification for the betrayal. While both partners are responsible for their respective conduct in the relationship, not all people with marital problems choose infidelity. This is a book for betrayers who wish to blame their spouses. The author blames the victim. It is callous and insensitive and can be used as a painful weapon by the betrayer.
Rating:  Summary: Affairs not bad?Seriously lacks compassion/understanding Review: Perfect for making the betrayer feel better -- see 5 star reviews are often from betrayers not the betrayed. This is rough reading from the start. In the intro chapter, the author makes the statement that she doesn't classify affairs as bad or good. She then proceeds to formally state that both partners are responsible for the affair occuring. Not responsible for issues in the relationship, but directly responsible for the affair. For many this is pure baloney!!! She has very little compassion for the betrayed and it is clear even in the intro. If you are the betrayer, you will love this book. If you are the betrayed, this book may actually be traumatic to read. You will feel no empathy from Spring. She talks about people who are essentially describing how they feel they have been disemboweled and their guts are everywhere as 'normal' and again w/o empathy. She practically says, see those intestines, that is normal, now step over the mess and lets proceed with how they helped cause the betrayal. I continued reading until I really couldn't take it anymore. I think it is written so callously it is scary. It is perfect for the betrayer who doesn't want to feel too bad. So if you are the spouse who did not cheat, tread cautiously, you may actually find yourself feeling really betrayed by Spring as well.
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