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Summary: You must buy this book if one of you has been unfaithful
Review: It is almost as if this book was written for my wife and I. She has been having an affair for the best part of a year and I have known about it for most of the time. I could not understand why she would not stop. Now I know why, and understand that it was not my fault. I have learned that I am not worhtless or useless or unattractive. I also recognised how my behaviour had changed while squirming with anguish and despair, and how to get my life back on track. You will relate so much to what this book has to say and it will help you come to terms with your situation, make some decisions about what you want from the future, and plan how to get your partner back - if that is what you want. I sent a copy to my wife and she has come back to me. The turning point was reading sections of the book to her over the phone. I cannot recommend it to you enough.
Rating: 
Summary: Author places far too much blame on the faithful spouse.
Review: Her opening statement in the introduction says volumes about her very liberal perspective. "I don't make blanket judgments about whether affairs are, in themselves, good or bad. What may be enhancing for one of you may devastate the other, and destroy the relationship."Further, she continually places too much blame on the faithful spouse, while coddling the unfaithful spouse. "Each of you must accept an appropriate share of responsibility for what went wrong. Rather than assign blame, I encourage each of you to confront thse parts of yourself that led to the affair, and to change in ways that rebuild trust and intimacy." She further says that I should apologize to my wife for driving her to the affair. Having said all that, the book does have some redeaming qualities. She does an excellent job of addressing all of the range of emotions that we go through. I might recommend that the faithful, hurt, confused spouse read this book to help understand what you are going through, but take the parts that blame you with somewhat of a grain of salt. I am not saying that the faithful spouse is always free and clear of blame in my opinion. I just find it hard to believe that the faithful spouse is always to blame.
Rating:
Summary: A Life Saver
Review: When I found out that my wife had a lover, I was overcome by a million thoughts and feelings. I wandered if I was being too "whatever". I hated and loved her. I wanted to kill/ignore him. I admired/despised myself for how I was handeling it. What is the normal response to such a revelation? After the Affair told me exactly how and what I was feeling and also told me that these things were normal. The book helped a lot. We are still together, but only physically. Emotionally, we have a long way to go. Because of my wife's abuse as a child, she is struggeling with who she is and what she wants. This book explains a lot about this as well. The other part about these reviews was that I could e-mail other readers and ask questions and discuss their experiences. My wife also read it, and it helped her to understand how I felt as well as what she was feeling. If you are on either side of this equation GET THIS TOOL in your briefcase.
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Summary: An important book that should be read before you marry too..
Review: The author shows in-depth experience that is not to be quibbled with. I bought the book because my spouse was having an affair and I wanted to recover the marriage. I suggested we read it together, but nothing could convince my spouse to read it. As I read I found out WHY my spouse would not read it, and gave me the courage and conviction that I was not nuts, and showed how the affair involved partner would try to turn the tables all the time. Thank God for the section that mentioned NPD (narcissitic personality disorder). After researching further and talking with my own therapist about my spouses history, we came away without any doubts as to this devastating disorder, and that it's almost never curable. I'm out of a horiffically manipulative and loveless marriage perpertrated by the acting capabilities of my spouse. Thank-You Dr. Springs for saving me from hell.
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Summary: Thank God!!!
Review: When I began reading this book I felt as though I had finally found a source of sanity. My life was in shambles and I didn't think I could ever have a shred of hope of normalcy again. This book helped me feel hopeful and reassured that I was not alone, I was not the only person this had ever happened to and that I was going to be okay. It gives very specific advice based on realistic expectations and has been like a self help book written just for me. I have read dozens of books on this topic and found this one to be the best BY FAR. Buy this book!!!
Rating: 
Summary: Highly overrated - superficial
Review: If you're a person who had an affair and want to be coddled, read this book. If you're anyone else, don't bother. The author doesn't seem to understand the "wrongness" of affairs. Nor does she understand the great health risks placed on the victimized partners in this age of AIDS and other awfully stds.
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Summary: Not informative
Review: The subject and material in this text were not helpful or informative.
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Summary: Trust again
Review: I have only read part of this book so far but I was amazed by how much I read that reminded me of what I have been going through. My wife of 11 years had an affair with a friend of ours at work. We are working things out but one big problem has been my feelings----I had no idea what to think and if these feelings were normal or if I was going out of my mind. It has already made a big differance to me.
Rating:
Summary: If you are the betrayed...
Review: this book will help you to come to terms with your feelings. There's a chapter devoted to redeveloping trust in your spouse. The book provides descriptions from both sides of the story, including a chapter about deciding to stay or go.
Rating: 
Summary: Coming to terms with grief
Review: This book, along with Dr. Frank Pitman's, have helped me come to terms with a lot of the grief and sense of betrayal. As a husband of 32 years, I never thought that this could happen and now am concerned with a future that will now always contain some measure of distrust. The best idea that I received from this book was how to restore my sense of self-worth and loosen the grip of depression, two subjects that would never entered my mind two years ago.
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