After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful

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Summary: After the Affair
Review: I read "After the Affair" about three weeks after discovering my husband had been having an affair for a year. It was helpful for me, because I thought the feelings I was feeling were abnormal. I didn't care for the term the "lover". I don't view the other woman as that. The book did help me come to terms with my husband's behavior. I do wish it had more information about the "lover" as Dr.Springer referred to them. (personality type)etc. I would recommend it. It is soft reading at a time that you may feel angry!!!

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Summary: Didin't fit the profile
Review: After continuously skipping threw the book, I came to page 111 and realized this book was not for me. So if anyone knows of a book for those of us who don't blame ourselves and want to try and put the marriage back together. Please let me know. This book is for people who need moderate-serious counseling.

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Summary: Got to get it
Review: Very good, easy to read. Really a great help to get back on your feet.

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Summary: Title says it all
Review: This book was recommended to my husband and I, by a marraige counselor after I found out about his affair. It's unbiased and focuses on underlying reasons for unhappiness within a marraige and how to help mend it if possible. After 13 years of marraige, this book really taught my husband and I to effectively communicate OPENLY and honestly. I recommend this book to anyone going through the effects of an affair either for yourself or with your spouse. Actually Id recommend it to any couple to possibly stop an affair before it happens.

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Summary: Great book even 9 months later
Review: Even 9 months after learning of my husband's string of affairs - long term and one night stands - this book was a huge help for me. Our counselor was treating my husband for sexual addiction but not treating the severe depression I was slipping into. The book opened my eyes to some of the issues he was dealing with and put words to many of my deep feelings. Bottom line I realized the feelings I were having were normal and I wasn't out there alone! The book gave me hope. We are trying to rebuild our marriage - I was 10 days away from giving birth to our second son when I confronted his affairs. This book made me realize I wasn't a push over for wanting to try and build a family - that there was hope and there were steps to help us try. I am trying to find a counselor who can work with us in the same techniques found in the book. You'll see once you read the book - high cost and low cost actions - my one and only high cost for my husband - read the book! It would help him see what I am going through also and bring up some subjects that are hard to find a way to put into words. Not the one and only answer - it won't help you forget - but it will give you a starting point.

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Summary: A must-read for anyone going through betrayal
Review: This book is excellent for anyone going through the pain of betrayal, man or woman. As I understand it, many marriage counselors recommend it and consider it invaluable for couples who are trying to rebuild. If I have any quibble about the book, it is with the author's refusal to make a judgment about whether infidelity is 'right' or 'wrong'. It's wrong in every corner of the universe and I thought she copped out a little with that statement -- had to take off a star in my ratings for that faux pas!

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Summary: Still works way after the affair
Review: I purchased this book about six years ago and was so impressed and helped by it. Then a few days ago I ran across it and read some chapters and was amazed at how it still held true. It can help when you are still feeling some insecurity about your relationship due to a past indiscretion. For some reason I was feeling like we were not communicating and that book popped up at the right time. It helped then and still works. It's a good read, especially in the beginning of the aftermath.

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Summary: Classroom Tactics
Review: The book is ok. It gives the psychological point of view that everything you do as an adult is a reflection of your childhood. The author offers suggestions on how to reflect back into your past to determine what made you/your mate have an affair. She also states that both partner's took a part in causing the affair to happen. That is a great philosophy, however, it is difficult to prove or disect. When I asked my partner why he had an affair, he simply stated "our relationship was perfect, he was just being greedy and stupid"!!! It doesn't take [$$$} to figure out why some people cheat. Some people or simply greedy, stupid or a combination of both. I personally did not find this book very useful and I am returning it today. I think the author is using classroom tactics that don't apply to everyday human life or is too complex for the average person to understand. If you believe everything people do is because of their upbringing then buy the book. If you believe life is a little more complicated than that and you want to save your relationship I recommend counseling and prayer. This book alone is not enough.

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Summary: Wished I bought this sooner!
Review: I wish I had ordered this book when I first looked at it. I think if my husband had read even the first page, he would have had a better understanding, much sooner, of the pain he was causing. I also wish I had ordered two, one for me and one for him, so we could read it simultaneously and get down to discussing issues sooner. I strongly recommend it if you only suspect your partner of being unfaithful. It holds many valuable tools. I took away one star because the author assumes that couples have not communicated their needs to one another and does not address what to do if you have made your needs clear in the past and your partner has always just chosen to simply ignore them.

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Summary: Avoid this book, Avoid this lady
Review: If your wife is reading this book, you must divorce her immediately. It is a primer for how to collect evidence for a divorce under the guise of trying to become secure in her marriage. Janis Spring has been divorced at least once and this is her primer on screwing the guy.