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Summary: Revelling in the HOW, Dr. Laura lacks the courage to say WHY
Review: The problem with Dr. Laura's TEN STUPID THINGS is that, like with most of her books, you cannot ever be sure she is being honest in a way that matters. Many accuse her of giving (White Bible-belt suburban) people a moralistic pill to swallow like LSD, inviting a return to a supposedly simpler, pre-1965 Fantasia of American life. While this stereotype is even more simplistic than anything she has yet to write, it has, like every myth, a grain of truth to it that can be explained best via the work of the great psychologists of our time that she all but openly refuses to refer to. In attempting to avoid the intellectual and moral responsibility inherent in structuring a sharing of psychological and social truths, Dr. Laura hides a professional insecurity, I believe, behind her common sense language that may reveal a not so healthy end-game agenda.Dr. Laura indeed gives a LOT of common sense talk in this, like in most of her books. She does not, however, go deep into the modern female psyche-like what Nancy Friday does with MY MOTHER MY SELF, or Judith Hollis with FAT AND FURIOUS, or Alice Miller in THOU SHALT NOT BE AWARE-for the benefit of *context*; to enable women to understand what unconscious agenda is being served by these behaviors that would make them need a how-to manual for basic adult living. Her only concern in even cryptically stating the raison d'Etre of the entire discipline of psychology (which, though people often forget, is not what she got her doctorate in) seems to be so it can give her an appearance of moral authority, enabling her to complain about the narcissistic/quasi-misogynist modern culture in the exact same way women complain about the men within it. Here are facts that are not proclaimed in our common sense talk about male/female relationships: the overwhelming majority of angry women in marriages/relationships that they cannot stop complaining about in American society, regardless of variations of age, race, class, religion or social background, have virtually the same thematic myths about their mother/daughter relationships and their childhoods. A woman's relationships with men, her own body, her mind and her self-esteem are usually the product of what women learned or didn't learn as young girls in the mother/daughter relationship-the first of any relevance for all women. The pattern for these relationships in America, whether women admit it or not, is often heartbreakingly deceitful, neglectful, anachronistic and abusive. But the only way women can keep the myths alive about what this relationship was, and not be confronted with the emotional/spiritual consequences of its painful reality, is by doing one or more of the following: 1) running to a religious community where these truths can be avoided with the use of scripture 2) hanging out almost exclusively with women who are in denial about the same problems 3) Willfully ignoring the fact that, as American women today, they are richer and more powerful than 90% of all women in the world and in human history (even at their financial and emotional WEAKEST) and the human responsibility that entails, or 4) holding the man (be it husband, father or abstract phallic symbol, like a "Patriarchal subculture" in the business world) in their life responsible for changing something they in actuality do not want changed at all: a man/woman or society/woman relationship that allows them to ignore the pain of their pasts by being a living analogy of the primal mother/daughter relationship as it really was. Or 5): all of the above. That, plus the *Oprah-iate of the masses* that is Hollywood/Madison Ave. & the talk show circuit catering to this narcissistic tendency in American women, is a major chunk of modern day society. Women should be encouraged to understand their dysfunctional behavior, regardless of men's, in this context: of it being the symptoms of a cultural/emotional/intellectual addiction (like what Alcoholism became to the Native Americans after the many genocides). A straight-up listing of what the behaviors are should only be given out by anyone calling themselves "Doctor" to serve that purpose. Dr. Laura, however, mentions none of this and doesn't do any of this. Because eliciting real emotional health and economic independence for women is not actually part of her agenda. Take a look at some of the questions Dr. Laura addresses in the truly healthy philosophical context that she does not: =Why hasn't he called? (Short Answer: WHY DOES YOUR MOTHER CALL SO OFTEN?) =Do you really want to be with someone who is not giving you back what you're giving? (AND DID YOU FEEL THAT WAY WHEN YOU WERE THIRTEEN, WHEN THAT PERSON WAS YOUR MOTHER AND YOU DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE?) =Are you a volunteer hostage? (SEE QUESTION ABOVE) =How do I teach a man to respect me (WHEN MY MOTHER WON'T)? =What is true Intimacy (AND IS MOM'S RELATIONSHIP TO DAD REALLY THE MODEL I SHOULD BE FOLLOWING)? =Should you hang in there or leave? (WHAT DID MY MOTHER DO? WHAT DID MY MOTHER SAY SHE'D DO IF SHE HAD A SECOND CHANCE? IS MY MOTHER REALLY MY FRIEND?) =Who is really responsible for birth control? (AND WHY, AS I AM THE ONE GETTING PREGNANT IN THE END, WAS THIS REALLY EVEN A QUESTION FOR EITHER MY MOTHER OR ME AFTER JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL? WHAT ARE THE REAL REASONS WHY MOTHERHOOD AT ANY COST IS SO ATTRACTIVE; NOT TO ALL WOMEN, BUT TO ME?) =What is the difference between Sexual Passion and Mature Love? (WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVING MY MOTHER AND LOVING A MAN?) Dr. Laura's letter of the law in TEN STUPID THINGS is straightforward and, naturally, well enough written. But truly embracing the spirit of the law-and honoring the female heart for which it stands-goes a little deeper than this. Read this in the library as a map to Heaven; buy something deeper to learn how to actually get there and live there.
Rating:
Summary: Take it with a grain of salt
Review: I picked this book up because it was dirt cheap in a used book store. I doubt I would have bought it full price! I decided to give it a go and read it because certain events had happened in my life, namely a really confusing breakup. It is sometimes harsh but I do think that if you get past that it is quite refreshing. Most of what written in this book is actually common knowledge, but when you read it .. I presume it drives the point home. I did find the first few chapters helpful. It is especially wonderful to note that I am not all that 'special' or 'unique' in my neurosis aka "is there anyone out there like this?". It's interesting to see that everyone, basically, goes through these same little patterns in relationships. Certain chapters in the book - especially towards the end really didn't hold any interest for me. I would definitely recommend this book, if only for the quote in the beginning of the book. I recite this in my mind whenever I feel myself sucummbing to any acts of stupidity in the name of man-kind. "It ever has been since time began,
And ever will be, till time lose breath,
That love is a mood - no more - to man,
And love to woman is life or death" Again, the book is helpful to an extent .. just don't take it all too seriously.
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Summary: You Will Receive What You Wish For - She is Black and White
Review: Needless to say before you rush out and buy this book, please listen to Dr. Laura on the radio for at least 30 minutes. If you like what you hear, then buy the book. Otherwise the purchase will not be an investment that will bring you happiness or be a gift to a friend or relative that will bring that person happiness. Otherwise like her other bestsellers it is well written with a flowing style and contains some original thinking. But Dr. Laura has definite ideas. Jack in Toronto
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Summary: Schlessinger's first, and best book
Review: Dr. Laura Schlessinger was a radio powerhouse. Her talk show was heard coast to coast in the US and Canada, on as many as 470 radio stations. At one point, over 10,000 callers per hour tried her 1-800-DRLAURA number in an attempt to get some of her tough-talking advice. This book, her first, was written just as The Dr. Laura Show had gone national, and it shared her pragmatic cut-through-the-bull viewpoint with a wider audience. What a difference a few years make. Schlessinger became a Conservative Jew, then an Orthodox Jew, and began following the same talking points heard on Rush Limbaugh and in WorldNetDaily. Today, the Dr. Laura show is on the decline. Fewer than 250 stations still carry it, and she is absent in several large markets such as New York, Chicago, and Baltimore. Her ill-fated attempt to move onto television was an utter failure, both critically and in ratings. Many controversies brewed, where she would attack yet another group and then be forced by her corporate bosses to issue a clenched-teeth denial. So it's interesting to reread this work from 1994, when Schlessinger's star was still rising. The first of many books by the onetime Queen of Rightwing Radio, it remains the her best both for what it is and what it is not. Let's keep one thing clear: her radio show is still on the air because it remains compelling. Agree with her or not, the callers' problems are fascinating. While her advice may be spot on or completely off-target, it's hard to switch her off. But Schlessinger has difficulty maintaining radio's improvisational tone in an advice book, because the problems were carefully selected, rather than snagged from several random calls. And despite her having the luxury to choose the issues supporting her points, her humor often falls flat. ("Is a Woman just a Wo- Wo- Wo- on a man?" is one of her chapter headings. They get worse.) This is more forgivable during a live broadcast, yet it is her quickness on air that made her show worth listening to. Ten Stupid Things' strength is in how Schlessinger described the many ways her callers made themselves unhappy. We all know women who feel they are nothing without a man (Stupid Attachment), or behaved like a fool while dating (Stupid Courtship), or who believed their love could conquer a man's rotten behavior (Stupid Devotion). The anecdotes are on target, as compelling as the calls that made it on air during the glory days of Dr. Laura. Another reason this is her best book is for the mistakes it doesn't make. Written before Schlessinger's violent swing to the political right, her only agenda here (other than promoting her show) is helping her female audience avoid bad relationships that impact future generations. Refreshingly free of neocon rhetoric, it lacks later books' attacks on working moms, second wives, or teenaged girls with bared midriffs. Secular lifestyles are not the poison in the Wellspring of Family Values, as Schlessinger will inform us subsequently. Nor are we assaulted by her moral superiority via her religious restraint (look ahead to How Could You Do That?! and The Ten Commandments if you find yourself in need of abasement). This one of her few books that isn't a minefield of unintentional humor to those of us who read Vickie L. Bane's unauthorized biography, which was unfortunately published before the 1998 naked pictures on the Internet incident. This book reminds me of why her show was so fresh and exciting in 1995: a feminist who had practical reasons why living together wasn't in women's best interest (this book has a whole chapter on Stupid Cohabitation); a modern, educated advisor who could convince callers that sex outside marriage hurts women more than men (Stupid Passion); a concerned radio show host who had the interests of kids foremost (Stupid Conception and Stupid Subjugation). The mix of modern science and traditional values was different, and Schlessinger's straightforward approach made it work far more effectively than the later religious rants and browbeating. It's a pity that today's show no longer reads like this book (although Ten Stupid Things was never as good as the 1995-96 radio show). While the book was quite successful, and the show became successful, then Schlessinger choked on her own hubris. Unfortunately she never realized her errors and returned to her earlier roots, which is why you will not find a work this good among her other books. Today Schlessinger still broadcasts her three-hours-a-day, five-days-a-week program, but has announced she is no longer an Orthodox Jew (what kind of a Jew she is she doesn't wish to inform us, but it's the kind who appears live on Yom Kippur). Read Ten Stupid Things not only for her good advice, but as a window to a kinder, gentler Laura Schlessinger.
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Summary: Talent on loan from God?
Review: Years ago, I used to listen regularly to Dr. Laura's radio call-in show. I even read two of her books, this one and "How Could You Do That?". But, like many free thinkers, I eventually grew tired of Dr. Laura's myopic perspective, to say nothing of her abrasive personality. Dr. Laura has acknowledged that her own life has done of 180, from a feminist/secular worldview to a conservative religious one. She realized the error of her younger self, and wishes to instruct others to change their ways. Her talent and intelligence can't be denied; her quick wit and control on live radio is impressive. Her writing, however, lacks the punch of her radio show. It is rough and overly punctuated by caps and exclamation marks. (Enough! We get the point that she is passionate.) This book, in particular, has a dismayingly misogynistic tone. Yes, women make poor choices, but then again so do men. I see no evidence that gender has anything to do with making or rejecting wise choices. (There are others, like Michael Moore, who would counterpoint that most of the world's problems are the fault of stupid white men. And, he has a lot of evidence to back that up!) Dr. Laura leads a rare life of priviledge, but has built it at a heavy cost. By trashing women, gay men, and liberals under the guise of espousing "family values" she has added to the poisonous invective that is dividing this country. She has convinced herself that she is working for God, and thinks that gives a gravity and respect to her cause. (Hate to break it to you, madam, but God is not a Republican misogynist homophobe. You are one, but there is a difference between you and God. I know that's hard to grasp, but it's true.) The irony of her worldview, of course, is that she has no respect for the diversity of God's creation. Her entire viewpoint seems to be a singular projection of her own values onto every person she encounters. (The Dr. Laura Cookie Cutter, if you will.) Because she enjoys motherhood, she has decided that all women are meant for motherhood, and is sympathetic to a sexist, Judeo-Christian concept of gender. Because she can't imagine life without a husband and child, she has decided that gays and lesbians have no identity, but are really heterosexuals. (Dr. Laura, I think, won't stop her anti-gay assault until she sees the wedding of RuPaul to Martina Navratrilova.) And the list goes on. Her perspective has less to do with religion and more to do with her own egotism. Her one-size-fits-all approach is hubris. [...]
Rating: 
Summary: animal cages rejoyce!
Review: To put it bluntly, this book is fantastic. I used it to line three of my birdcages, and crapping on Dr Laura has never made my birds happier. Most tropical birds will also enjoy chewing on the thicker then average pages. If you're in need of a high quality birdcage, gerbil cage, or (if you can buy this book in bulk) puppy cage liner, this may be just the thing you've been looking for.
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Summary: HARMFUL TO WOMEN
Review: I read this book years ago and I was absolutely appalled and insulted. She treats women like they are absolute idiots! If you are open minded this book is NOT for you, if you are easily swayed then good luck... you may become one of Dr. Laura Schlessinger's drones.
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Summary: dr. know it all
Review: I can't stand her. I shouldn't have even listed to the tapes! She's just a mean woman.
Rating:
Summary: Excellent!
Review: My wife and I were talking last week, and she admiited something intensely personal- she had always wanted to be just like her Mother. I asked a few girls at work, and they mentioned that they had always had that wish also... So I went out and bought this book for my wife to help her out in her ultimate life-long goal.
My wife is already up to step 3! This books reads like a literal biography of My mother-In-Law, and she has found it to be extremely helpful in her pursuit of her dreams. She promises to have step 3 done by the Holidays. I can't wait to see her progress!
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Summary: Not for married people
Review: My wife read this book and said it was more for couples who are not married. If you are married, not much in here will apply
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