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Summary: Got stalled dreams?
Review: Ladies and gentlemen...start your engine.This book will put the battery in the engine of your dreams. Fasten your seatbelt for the ride of your life...
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Summary: The final push
Review: Maria Frazier, I was the epitomy of underacheivement. I spent my childhood in child and sexual abuse and then my adulthoos in domestic violence. I never was able to achieve anything but negative energy. Recently I read a book titled 'Nightmares Echo'- this story delves in to the mind of the child that has dealt with abuse and her rise above it. The courage and determination and self healing is miraculous. But, still I needed something more. 'Your Own Worst Enemy' was given to me by a friend that had read it. At last I have found that something more. The final push to heal to move on and to succeed in my life. Not with money mind you, but with myself!!! This insprational book is just what the Doctor ordered so to speak. (...)
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Summary: Earth to Christian ....
Review: The fundamental flaw of this book is that Christian thinks there are no born losers. Everyone can change and improve. Oh? He's a little out of touch with reality. Shrinks are rather clueless, and he's a perfect example. A few of us are born with the genetic defect of having no killer instinct. We really are born losers. Here are the main points of the book and why they don't help. The first third of the book describes why losers ("underachievers" in psychobabble) lose. Sure, there are plenty of insights here. It seems as if every other sentence brings a new insight. Far too many to absorb. Practical advice for changing doesn't start until around page 130. His broad concepts of changing: Find a friend to be accountable to in the change process. Uh-uh. Maybe he knows people who don't delight in stabbing you in the back, but I don't. Unworkable. Change the language of the way you mentally talk to yourself to the opposite of what you know to be true. Brainwash your self with positive, happy talk. That won't change reality. Make huge dreams and goals for your life. Make plans, lists, charts and schedules to make it come true. Yeah, that's what we did in the multi-level marketing company I was with. That job was a fiasco. It reconfirmed what I already knew from experience: Big dreams mean big disappointments. Detailed plans mean lots of agonizing failures. Christian advises us not to let problems and complications slow us. He can't comprehend how many things can go wrong in a loser's life every day. Another problem I have with this book is Christian's writing style. Here's a sentence from early in the book: "In this chapter, I sketch a basic introductory portrait of underachieving HPP's, define the problem of underachievement and identify its self-limiting aspects, cite the common characteristics of underachievers, and describe the major self-defeating, potential-inhibiting patterns that underlie the typical underachieving styles." Did your eyes glaze over when you read that? Well, get ready for 276 pages of that kind of writing. He's out to impress his colleagues and the general reader with his verbose brilliance. Also, he is not, as another reviewer claimed, succinct. He is extremely repititious in his points. The book is an agonizing read. Toward the end of the book, he dispenses lots of idealistic, vague advice, with no explanation of how to do it. Small snippets of the book can be used to make some changes, but the overall plan won't work. Fellow losers, stick with standard psychology books and non-linguistic persuasion books to learn how to deal with the innate cruelty of normal humans. All things considered, I want my money back from this book. Now go ahead and pile on the negative votes.
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Summary: A well-written guide with practical exercises that work.
Review: The title of this book struck a chord with me, as I've always felt that I undermine my own ability to achieve to my fullest potential, and I have never really understood why. The author provides a convincing argument for the causes of "self-limiting" behavior and describes how it manifests itself in a variety of ways, using fascinating anecdotes and case studies of people who will remind you of yourself. Following this is a set of practical exercises that will convince you that changing this pattern of behavior is possible. Not easy, but possible. This is an inspiring book that was enjoyable to read, and the exercises provided are substantive. When you finish it you will feel like you have a set of tools with which to build real change.
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Summary: no friend
Review: There is essentially nothing new here, it's the age-old 'effectiveness' advice repackaged for a slacker niche. You, we, I have heard it all before; get organized, maintain order, discipline, vision, and perseverance. Christian provides a series of exercises toward those objectives, and should you make it through the first half of the book with enough self-worth left to apply them, I suppose they might be helpful. Though thoughtfully modulated, there is a surprisingly contemptuous and disrespectful tone here. Clinically Christian holds himself apart from those he examines, but he can't mask that personally he holds himself quite above them as well. He manages to outline the underlying dynamic of each self-limiting type in a relatively neutral tone, but time after time when elaborating and citing cases, his distain comes through loud and clear. His indictment is that it all boils down to varying combinations of three basic tenets: a self-pandering arrogance for applied effort, machinations to escape honest work, and self-delusions of superiority. That he understands these 'self limiting' behaviors in fact create more work, drudgery and exhaustion is expressed, but he can't suppress his disapproval that it is really all rooted in trying to 'get away with something.' Overtly he says many of the right things, but the undertone of contempt nullifies most of it. It becomes clear that Christian doesn't respect, or even much like the people he has committed himself to helping. The writing style is smooth and static above its uncharitable, and curiously, somewhat defensive undertone. He seems to keep asserting that his way is NOT dull; I suppose in projected anticipation of the slacker reaction. Maybe it is an inept attempt at 'tough talk' done in the effort to deflate the myths of the 'self-limiting high potential person' (SLHPP) lifestyle. I would think, however, if someone is reading a self-help book on over-coming adult underachievement they already have a gut-level understanding or fear that what they are doing isn't working; they've pretty much already yelped 'uncle.' To admit the life you are making constitutes an 'underachievement' and that you are responsible for it and your own worst enemy, is a moment of truth - a vulnerable thing. To buy this book, or enroll in one of his workshops, is a brave and hopeful step toward admitting you want more and need help getting it. Given that, I don't understand the constant and repetitive need, especially throughout the first half, to convince SLHPP they are NOT living more colorful, creative, distinctive, textured or interesting lives. Why would we be spending money, time and energy with this book if WE believed that to be true? It seems to beg the question - who is it who does believe that? Christian's antipathies and projections aside, his approach is an outside to inside one and makes little if any allowance for innate strengths, weaknesses, and processes. He admits he can't really address the issues of artists (like myself) and suggests academia as the potentially most desirable option for successful employment and achievement. Hardly insightful and brilliant, that. In sum, this is conventional, linear, achievement advice dressed up in a modulated tone of caring that can't quite hide its dislike. And as a final note: should you ever find yourself doing this man the favor of driving him across an unfamiliar foreign city, for God's sake bring a map! Failure to meet his expectations will bring forth an examination of your short-cut seeking character, your delusions of creative brilliance, and your self-excusing fatuous charm when faced with your own ineptitude. I may or may not be my own worst enemy, but I'll live it over Christian's take on things.
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Summary: Useful for achievers, too.
Review: This is a useful, well-written book about under-achievement. It can also apply to those who have achieved quite a bit, but somehow still feel impoverished or running below their capacity. The examples and case histories clearly show how and why people hold themselves back; they also provide a variety of practical strategies to combat this tendency. I can think of very few people that would not get a tremendous amount of value from this book.
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Summary: succinct and invigorating
Review: This is the best self help book I've read AND used--hardnosed, practical and systematic. I've been working from YOWE for six months and I already notice changes; I sleep better, have more energy, and I'm kinder to people. (That said, I'm far from perfect, and I still make mistakes, sometimes significant ones). But if you think you're too old to change, you're wrong. YOWE is the boot camp of self help books, but you won't have wasted your money. Highly recommended.
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Summary: Wish I had read this 20 years ago
Review: When I entered college I was told I was an underachiever. It wasn't until I read Kenneth Christian's book that I understood exactly what that meant in my life and was given some tools for change. This book is clear, well-written, and, for me, highly motivating. What is more, it feels right on target.
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Summary: The best book I have seen on underachievement
Review: YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY is a gold mine for the underachieving person who is not content to stay that way. Dr. Christian goes far beyond the usual motivational methods and rationalizations for inaction. He exposes the psychological scenarios that cause so many capable people to remain unsuccessful, and provides the tools to redefine one's life.
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