Rating:  Summary: Phil tells it like it is.......... Review: .......and I love him for it!!! This book is for you if you are really willing to step up to the plate and take charge of your life. The first step, Phil will tell you, is to acknowledge your own personal responsibility. If you can do that, you are ready to follow Phil's "Life Laws" and change your life for the better. This self-help book puts YOU in the driver's seat.Let me add that I normally HATE self-help books. Most are a bunch of hogwash, "feel-good" type books that don't really help the reader who is truly searching for answers and change. Phil's book, however, I keep coming back to when I need guidance or a few reminders of the direction I need to keep myself in. His "laws", when followed, really work. I was first exposed to the ideas of Phil McGraw while I was out of work on sick leave and had time to watch Oprah. I instantly liked the honesty of his style. He may seem harsh, but he really wants to help people help themselves. At the time I first picked up this book I was battling cancer. Oddly enough, I reached a point in the book where an example was being given of a cancer patient with a similar cure rate as my own (basically pretty good, scary yes, but good). I realized that I had to look past my illness to the final goal of being cured and that I had to acknowledge that I was going to likely make it and simply go on living my life as usual instead of giving up. I can honestly say this book changed my approach to life and helped me get through a very difficult period.
Rating:  Summary: Bland, Recycled Advice; Better Options Available Review: This is not a bad book, yet much of the wisdom is very similiar to Wayne Dyer and other pop psychologists. Dick Sutphen's superb "Reinventing Yourself" is a much better choice. Mr. McGraw is a dynamic speaker, however, this book is too long at over 300 pages in paperback and occasionally loses its focus. Someone new to reading psychology books will probably be impressed with this work, I observed strong similarities to Dyer, Nathaniel Branden, and others in McGraw's book. Now his son has authored his own self-help book so this has become a family franchise.
Rating:  Summary: 5 stars - if you're ready for it Review: Look, it's not whether this book is for you or not - it's whether you are ready for it or not. This is not a philosophy book, it is a rescue book. If you feel that you are living even an ok life, you'll probably be skeptical about its approach alltogether. If you, however, are going through one of those periods that have already made you realize that there may be a need for self-improvement, then this book certainly does an excellent job. It provides you with a no non-sense, down-to-earth, get-real assessment of how the world really works. It does so, admittedly, from a materialistic angle. Phill won't show you God. But he will help you teach yourself how to live in peace with yourself. I rated this book a 5-star because it is very clear in its purpose and scope and it accomplishes exactly what it intends - if you have the guts and discipline to let it do it. If you want to dive deeper in your spiritual self, get help elsehere (I read Phill's book along with Chopra's "How to know God", now there's a complement). As Phill quite accurately points out "failure is no accident". If you don't like this book, it's because either you don't need it (congratulations - I envy your life) or "you just don't get it" (I suggest you read chapter two at once!)
Rating:  Summary: A good read--take what you need and leave the rest Review: When you are in the mood to read and ponder--a long plane ride for instance--take this book with you. Some things you will be nodding your head along with.... other things won't reach you--take it in stride! . If you can get a couple of insights like I did the few dollars for the book is worth it. Is it going to become a tool you need for everyday living-instant awareness and responsibility--of course not--but it is books like these that help us think about these living skills. And awareness is always better than sleepwalking through life. Take what you like....and leave the rest:)
Rating:  Summary: Good book with a note Review: You know, it doesn't matter how good/bad this book is, it doesn't work for everyone. Everyone has an opinion. This book or any book gives you ideas, directions and it's up to you how you apply it to yourself to make yourself feel better, and maybe make a difference in someone's else life or whoever or whatever. If you think the book is all about oneself, manupulating and cheating others, maybe you should buy and read a book called "How to think postive and be good to oneself and others" and reexamine yourself before you even read the book. There are many people who read this book and want to use it to enhance their own life as well as others'. Take what is good and disregard what's bad, but again it's up to you how you percieve it.
Rating:  Summary: good principles - but the package leaves mixed feelings Review: I adhere the principles that are hidden behind the 10 life laws, the 18 assignments and the seven-step strategy that Philip McGraw gives us. That's why I hesitated to give this book "4 stars". I also agree with the author that one will have to do one's homework (try out the material) if one wants to get most out of it. As the author writes, such a book is NOT meant to be passive reading. Unfortunately, the way these principles are packaged didn't help me to do something constructive with this book. The writing style and the examples activated a skeptic attitude in me. As the author acknowledges on page 25, there is a serious risk that you'll start challenging every word he writes. So what exactly is my critique? First, if you're not an Oprah fan, the first 10 pages of this book will put you off reading the rest. Secondly, the author gives the impression he has invented the wheel (yes, one still can invent the wheel, a Canadian even showed that one can PATENT the wheel in 2001!). Of course, as the author writes, he collected the principles to learn from elsewhere. Unfortunately, often the original versions are more precise than what you'll find here. Yet, it is difficult to check that, given there is no reference section in the book, and only a few of the sources get cited. (Hint: look at books based on NLP, as the ones you'll find in my "listmania" lists). To me, this book mostly proves that being on Oprah's show will help your book to "make it". In fact, I wonder who would have known about this book if the author wouldn't have been connected with Oprah (if you didn't know that, the author will spend at least 5% of the book explaining you that). My conclusion? If you buy this book, I hope you will walk away with the principles. Given my critique, I have no clue how big your chances are. If you are living in the U.S., *VERY* found of Oprah, and willing to do the assignments the author gives you, this book may fit you. Otherwise, better look elsewhere. Patrick E.C. Merlevede, MSc. -- co-author of "7 Steps to Emotional Intelligence"
Rating:  Summary: Yes it does matter if you say NO! Review: Phil is basically a good person with a lot of basic things to say but he urges us to say NO more often than ever saying yes! Doing what works is not always in the best interest of doing what matters. Doing what matters should be the at the top of his lists, especially when it comes to family and kids. Taking care of yourself is important. It provides fresh ideas and outlooks for our inner spirit as well as food for thought in everyday life. But we must also attempt to do what matters for our children and family even if we don't want to or it makes us gripe a little here and there. Everything can't be about "me." What this adds up to is trade-offs. You are making a huge trade- off when you decide to get married; yet the biggest life change is when you bring children into the world. I'm not suggesting you shouldn't ever say NO to anyone - as it can surely go over board, but you must say YES more often to family life and what children need in order to feel good about yourself in the long run. When you have children, you are in a master teaching mode for most of the time. Most of his outlooks and advice are from a man's point of view - pretty black and white. Black and white works well in some areas of life. In fact, after the kids get between the age of 8 and 16, it is a great resource for setting limits. But there are many times when his suggestions don't make sense or better yet, won't work with stages in the family that has more than one child. For example, in another book, Mommy-CEO, by parenting expert, Jodie Lynn, says while it is important to take care of yourself and to stop over-scheduling, the focus and meat of the message is to stay flexibile as it is the true key to everyday happiness of each individual. However, I doubt if Phil would agree to most of her 5 Golden Rules because she says to begin saying NO to many family wants in the activity department but to still say Yes in the simple areas of children and family life when they are certain ages. He says to stay on track with what works for yourself and things will fall into the best workable schedule. She says to stay on track but be flexible during most of marraige when the children are going through various stages and are asking for help. In reality, both books have many similarities and compliment each other throughout the plans and thoughts of both authors, but Mommy-CEO, is written by a woman and offers insight gathered from many parents who offer practical life startegies from a female point of view. All I'm doing here is trying to let families know that there are other options in identifying feelings by suggesting Mommy-CEO (which makes all moms actually feel like a bona fide CEO and worth their weight in gold) in sizing up what really matters when there are children and family routines involved. Both books have been a great help and work well together when it comes to women - and moms in particular. Moms set the tone of the family relationships, especailly when children are involved. While Dr. Phil knows this, it seems he often leaves it out. In today's busy society, females need heavy duty cause to reflect on our mommy traits as trend setters within the family unit for a healthy inner and outer bond for ourselves. The voice of a female in this case should also be included in the whole picture and circle of life strategies. For us, if we are not careful, saying yes can be heart ache, but it can also mean the difference in staying sane and going mad. If you have kids, whether you are single, married or divorced, (male or female) read both books and think about the outcome of others while making all of the lists suggested by Dr. Phil and say Yes to your family.
Rating:  Summary: Hup, two, three, four, Hup, two, three, four... Review: The subtitle to this book is "Stop Making Excuses!" It should have been: "Boot Camp-style self-development." Take this nifty little mental straightjacket that the reader is invited to put on around (page 28): Assignment #2: ... I want you to sit down and write a story. The story is entitled: "The Story I'll Tell Myself if I Don't Create Meaningful and Lasting Change After Reading and Studying This Book. ... I suggest that you begin it by writing: "After reading and studying this book, I did not create meaningful and lasting change because ..." In psychology this kind of stuff is known as a 'double bind'. If you do what you're told then you are admitting, with literally 90% of the book still unread, that the only way it can't work is if you refuse to let it work. If, on the other hand, you turn down the invitation then obviously the book can't be expected to help you, because you've only read 10% of it and already you're refusing to co-operate. It's still nobody's fault but your own! So, let's say you march willingly into the boot camp, carefully off loading your thinking abilities at the gate. That is going to be a big help over the next 254 pages. For example, it will help you to overlook all the nonsense statements, like: "Life Law #7: Life Is Managed; It Is Not Cured" (page 167) What that means, in the context of this book, is that it seems the only way you'll ever get a life is by producing great reams of lists. So many lists, in fact, that you're going to have to create a set of "summary sheets" so that will enable you "to see the 'big picture.'" Now, rightly or wrongly, I had been under the impression that "life is for living" rather burying yourself under mountains of paperwork. But hey, what do I know 8) Or how about this for a personal philosophy: "I cannot think of a single time in my life where my experience has been enriched or the quality of my life enhanced by my saying 'no'. I can think of dozens of times when my life has been enhanced simply because I said, 'Okay, sure: I'll give it a try.' " (page 81) I guess someone must have spotted what a no brainer that one was, because in the very next paragraph we read: "If someone is saying, 'Hey, try some cocaine; you'll love it,' that's obviously not the time to be a willing spirit." On other occasions the illogicality of the instructions in the book takes on a life of its own. For example, on page 166 we are told that: "There is no reality; only perception. Let your perceptions be fresh and new and grounded in fact, not in history." 'Scuse me? There is NO REALITY, but your perceptions must be "grounded in fact"? What "facts" are there if there is *no* reality? And if there is "no reality, only perception", what sense does this next instruction make (page 234): "Writing it down adds important objectivity to your self-appraisal." If there "is no reality, only perception" then everything you think must by definition be SUBJECTIVE. So how can writing things down "add ... objectivity"? But the book isn't just off-beam. It is deeply pessimistic. On page 73, for example, the reader is told to: "Honestly evaluate your style of engagement [with other people], and you will begin to understand why the world responds to you as it does. To help you, here are some examples of engagement styles to which the world reciprocates very predictably." We then get 18 examples - and every single one is negative (pages 73-80). The trouble is, it seems, that the book is not sufficiently informed by modern psychology. Thus on page 50 we find this apparently simple statement: "Having read this list, you may be thinking, 'Boy, this guy is a pessimist about people.' Not true. I'm not a pessimist; I'm a realist." Actually those two qualities frequently go hand-in-hand. As Martin Seligman observes, in the best-selling "Learned Optimism" (a book based on about a quarter of a century of solid scientific research): "Overall, then, there is clear evidence that non-depressed people distort reality in a self-serving direction and depressed people tend to see reality accurately." And in psychological terms, as Seligman points out, depression is the *real* epidemic sweeping the Western world. Not because someone *thinks* it is - but because there is indisputable clinical evidence to show that it is so. In other words, if you like being verbally beaten about the head, if you find it comforting to imagine that the whole of life can be reduced to just ten short rules, if you believe in slogans like "No pain, no gain", you'll certainly like this book. If, on the other hand, you're still in the mood to think for yourself, I'd suggest that you'd be far better off with Maxwell Maltz' "Psycho-Cybernetics" (the original, not the re-write), or for the more scientifically- minded, Martin Seligman's "Learned Optimism".
Rating:  Summary: Life Strategies? Or Oprah Dedication? Review: I did not read the book but opted for the audio cassettes. I was immediately put off that 3/4 of the first tape was dedicated to Oprah and HER lawsuit, how she looked, what she was wearing, how she felt, blah, blah, blah. WHO CARES? What does THAT have to do with ME? I could care less about celebrity and their overblown egos! I continued to listen however, chuckled once or twice, said Mmmmm, interesting a handful of times, but overall disappointed. Mr. McGraw sure would have a lot more credibility with me if he wasn't cow-towing to Oprah.
Rating:  Summary: Very Good Advice! Badly written book! Review: This book gets 4 stars for its material, and 2 stars for the way its written, so I averaged that and gave it a final rate of 3 stars. I think the concepts are very good, though I will not call them "Life Laws".I found them very helpful and very often enlightening. I did not find anything wrong with them morally or ethically as some reviewers did, and my guess is that these reviewers misunderstood some of the themes..like the difference between blame and responsibility and what he means by "there is no reality;only perception, and " you have to name it before you can claim it." Now as to the way this book is delivered. I read the book before I got a chance to watch Dr. Phil on Oprah. I must say that I found his famous "tell it like it is" way very irritating and inappropriate as written words, although on television this way is rather entertaining and gets his point of view across strongly. The introduction is inappropriate, and the first chapters are full of repetition and "do what I tell you or else!" The writing style gets better as you go along, and the chapter on forgiveness is wonderful. Finally,this is an excellent self-help book but not a feel-good book.Recommended. Two books that I HIGHLY recommend are: The seven habits of highly effective people by Stephen Covey and The 10 dumbest mistakes smart people make: simple and sure techniques for gaining greater control of your life by Arther Freeman and Rose Dewolf.
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