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Summary: This book made me a published author! :)
Review: I can honestly say that this book changed my life. I followed the exercises and within 4 months, I had tripled my authenticity score. This book, and it's journal companion, helped me set goals and achieve them. "Waiting for You: An Heirloom Adoption Journal for My Future Child" is now my dream come true. THANK YOU DR. PHIL! :)
Rating: 
Summary: God, what a horrible book
Review: My family usually thinks that I am crazy to read all psychology related books even though, by profession, I am an engineer/scientist. When somebody gave me this book as gift, I thought, good they know what type of books I like and sure enough I started on the same night. Please, I could not get past page 12 or so. I thought I was sleepy, so continued next day and next day and so on for a week. I crossed a total of 50 pages and decided it is time for me to throw the book out.
You see, the problems with this book are as follows:
1. Too much condescension in explaining the concept. I don't like any book which assumes that its readers are stupidest on planet earth.
2. Message/concept that can be said in five words goes for pages. Too sleepy and boring.
3. No anectodal quotes [except of course somewhere in the book it talks about how he destroyed a house, while tearing down another] or any explanation as to why his message would work, what is implications etc. [Told you I am a scientist and some times a contrarian]. Absolutely no effort towards persuasion.
4. Now, after reading the 50 pages, I still don't get it: Once again, can some one tell me what is wrong in mixing my life with both things that I want and others want. Every human has rough edges and if we all don't make an effort to smoothen some portions of ours for the sake of living together in this world, we will go back to stone ages.
5. Book filled with words and a constant call for actions, but doesn't exactly tell you what you should be doing. You want to tell people to change, tell them how to change. Give me examples, project examples etc.
6. Finally, what if you bought the book and end up reading this, while you know that you are living your full life? How is this book useful to you? [Of course, Phil would say that if you use this argument, you are not being honest/candid/truthful to yourself etc. His belief is that he is the only one changed and every one is still living in illusion. Read my point #1 again here]I am not telling that the basic concept of this book is incorrect that people do need to do things in life that will keep them excited to live every day and enjoy life. But it can never be the focus of "always about me, otherwise, I don't care". May be it would work if you have $100MM in bank and necessary acquaintence in the world of power. Then people around you will change them to suit you and you can be yourself. Otherwise, here is the news. This book won't work in its entirety. BTW, I have read very dry books such as "What do you say after you say Hello, by Eric Berne M.D.", and I did manage to complete it within couple of weeks. This book clearly wins the trophy for me as a book "worthless of any reading". Once again, how did this become "New York times #1 top seller"?
Rating: 
Summary: Typical Dr. Phil's "heavy hand"
Review: Dr. Phil's style is unmistakable and unique. It works for many people as it provides a down-home, no-nonsense sort of a two-by-four board to the head approach to what is wrong with you. It is a great book for reading through and getting general ideas of getting back to basics and pulling yourself up by the bootstraps (so to Dr-Phil-speak). However, if you are looking at digging into more of an in-depth solution on specific area you will have to look elsewhere. I do recommend this as a great general read every no and again - just to help yourself stay on track...
Rating: 
Summary: Straight talk, and lots of it!
Review: Dr. Phil prides himself on being a straight talker. His strength is his ability to cut through the fog and pretense of psychobabble. He tells you exactly what he thinks in honest, hard hitting, straight-shootin' words. The only trouble is, this old cowboy likes to grab your collar real tight, get eyeball-to-eyeball with you and plumb near straight talk you to death! It takes 114 pages (of a 314 page book) to get down to his first crucial truth: your ten defining moments, the 10 things that made you who you are today. Still, once you pass through this baptism of fiery, circular, repetitious (but straight) talk, his wisdom and clarity guides you through the perils and traps that hold your self in check. He has written a useful book, fluffy, but useful.
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Summary: A Little More Would Make This Book 5 Stars
Review: American society places a great deal of importance on the rights of the individual and self determination. While self determination and a positive self worth are every person's right it also can be a burden. When people were born into a society where their purpose in life and personal identity were set at the time of their birth, they may not have had much opportunity, but they also did not have to worry if they were living a life according to their authentic self. This book and McGraw's other book "Life Strategies" provide much useful guidance on arriving at the truth about our personalities and how we interact with other people. One could say that they empower people to take control over their lives. A sense of self worth and a sense that we are in control of our destiny are essential factors in living a meaningful life, which in turn give us a sense of satisfaction or happiness. While following McGraw's direction should provide some relief from life's tensions, his books are not a panacea for all of life's problems. While I appreciate McGraw's efforts to empower people he does his readers a disservice by making them believe that his advice is a solution to all of life's problems. Unfortunately, for all of us there are many things that we cannot control, and these things have a great impact on where life takes us. For example, where we are born, who we marry, what job we have and how well we do in that job are subject to a great deal of chance. McGraw rightly points out much of what we think about ourselves is the result of what other people have said to us or how they have interacted with us. This same concepts also apply to almost everything else that we know about the world around us. If we are brought up by people who think we live in a cut throat society, or that our self worth is determined by what we own or how high we can climb the corporate ladder, we will have plenty of other sources of dissatisfaction. We live in society and we must embrace the values of society if we want to live as a part of society. Doing what works and matters for us according to our authentic self must also be done within a social context. Although he need not spend as much time on these concepts as the ones he presents in his book, he should at least acknowledge them. I suggest that a good compliment to McGraw's books would be "The Meaning of Life: If Life is a Journey You Need Good Direction". Once a person understands the laws of life for personal interaction they may then be open to understanding all the other laws of life.
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Summary: Right on target: Dr. Phil's system is easy and it WORKS
Review: I'm one of the few who has not seen Dr. Phil on TV except for brief bits and I have not read his other books. I bought this book because of its title, good reviews, and because I was undergoing severe problems with relatives that forced me to do research. Buying Self Matters was the BEST DECISION on a self-help book that I EVER made. Dr. Phil's main point is simple: a person may be unhappy and tormented by internal pain but we create our lives "from the inside out." We have one shot on this earth and face a simple choice: are we going to live our lives as we would truly like to live them or are we going spend our time here being defined, "typecast," hammered down, discouraged, de-energized -basically, CONTROLLED -- by outside forces(relatives, friends, expectations and past events)? Do you live according to what he calls the "authentic self" or do you live a life and identity others have given you, much like a casting director fills a part? And how to do you find out what you REALLY want and who you REALLY are (not how friends and relatives typecast you)?
Here are several big reasons why you MUST buy Self Matters: 1. DR. PHIL WALKS THE WALK: He changed his life. Originally he'd start each day unexcited, not proud of who he was since "everything I was doing was chosen to please other people by meeting their expectations while totally ignoring my own...I knew I wasn't living the life I was meant to live." He realized he had "betrayed who I was and instead accepted a fictional substitute that was defined from the outside in. I betrayed myself, and mine was a life and an experience that was a fraud and a fiction." 2.HE GIVES YOU SPECIFICS THAT IMMEDIATELY GET ANSWERS: He writes
in "tough love" style, including exercises and tests that help you take stock of who you REALLY are. He helps you painstakingly trace the key influences in your life, defining moments (good and bad), influential people, pivotal choices you made that led to who you are now -- and then shows you how to make NEW choices and create NEW behaviors to create new, more productive results...and live the life you were truly MEANT to live. 3. USE IT AS POTENT MENTAL SELF DEFENSE for when people try to force you into roles or define you as THEY wish to define you -- whether in the job they expect you to do, the personality traits and flaws they insist you to have, the negative predictions they make about you or your success. "You can't be you if you don't know you," he writes. 4. IT WILL CALM YOU: Living for your fictional self, he writes, "is a dangerous state of being that diverts, absorbs, and robs your life energy." People "sell out" and get used to "living an assigned role, rather than living " to who they really are. 5. IT HELPS YOU DISRUPT MENTAL TERRORISTS IN YOUR LIFE: He teaches you to be acutely aware of the negative mental "tapes(values, beliefs and experiences) constantly playing over and over in your head, limiting you. And, most IMPORTANTLY: how to detect "life scripts" that others may be forcing on you --a set of instructions telling you how to run your life, based on THEIR fixed beliefs...including how things will turn out for you (more often then not you are given the message that you will fail or risk or change is doomed and these will be stated to you as FACT and reality). 6. MY PERSONAL TESTIMONY ON HIS IDEAS: Twelve years before reading this book I quit nearly 20 years in journalism to become an entertainer (ventriloquist). I now realize in reading Self Matters that I unknowingly had applied his techniques. They WORK. And I have no regrets. But the biggest problem I have since faced are "tapes" still playing in my head, put on "play" by others, who constantly also bombard me with the life's scripts drawn up many years ago, defining me THEIR way.
I bought Self Matters while being battered by relatives' life's scripts. These activated my internal mental "tapes," bigtime. Reading this book saved me from immobilizing depression this summer. After reading Self Matters, to my genuine surprise, I could quickly pinpoint when the internal "tapes" played, and when I was being pressured to be the character cast in one of their "scripts" (typecast in countless ways). I realized it did not reflect reality. Today they still try to define me with life scripts drawn up decades ago. But it's harder for them to succeed : I know who I am INSIDE -- and it's not who they think I am. I think they'll just have to cast another actor...
Rating:
Summary: time consuming
Review: I haven't finished the book so I probably shouldn't write a review yet. But i find this slow reading with exercises that are too fundamental and time consuming. I get bored reading how he knows what I feel cause he's felt it. I think there are much better books on the subject. Books that make you serach yourself and come to conclusions.
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Summary: Empowering common sense advice for everyone
Review: Anyone can benefit from the common sense wisdom in this book and the uncommon focus on not just labeling problems, but discovering realistic solutions to solving them. In writing, Dr. Phil seems much more compassionate than he usually appears on television and his personal stories give genuine insight into his approach. The focus is frequently on job dissatisfaction and sexual abuse but the advice can be applied almost universally. The exercises for each chapter make this quick-read pretty time consuming when you put forth the effort to complete them, but they are surprisingly effective. Particularly interesting ideas are the internal dialog chapter, the minimal effective response plan, the now famous ten defining moments, seven critical choices and five pivotal people theories and the sabotage strategies of toxic individuals. This unique and empowering book will benefit everyone who reads it.
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Summary: Identify and develop your undeveloped areas.
Review: Personally, I don't believe that anyone has weaknesses, just undeveloped areas. First you need to identify them, then work on and develop them. In Self Matters, Dr. Phil shows how to find these underdeveloped areas and how to become the person you want to become.I have a library of personal development books by many of the best authors including Dr.Wayne Dyer, Dr. Maxwel Maltz, Claude Bristol, Charles Givens, Dr. David Schwartz, Nathaniel Brandon and many others. Dr. Phil is one of the very best at bringig out your maximum potential.
Rating:
Summary: Involved
Review: This book has many great details and stories to help understand what Mr. McGraw is talking about. The problem with this book is that he keeps saying in this book we are going to do.... Finally, once you get to the section that you have to do something it is very time consuming. I think what he has to say is very helpful if you have the time and will to do it. Good luck!
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