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Summary: so helpful
Review: My 11 year old has been on medications for 4 years until two months ago. While he was on it he seemed to lose site of his passion and aliveness. It was hard to tell who he was in the sense of what he liked and what he dreamed to be. Four months ago we started the approach recommended in this book. We wouldn't have taken him off meds unless we had felt safe enough in that his behaviors had changed to successes. But much more than that, now it's like we can connect with the real child and we can see his aliveness again. It's like we have him back and his passion is not a nightmare resulting in negativity anymore. It's now a good thing. I can see that he's no longer afraid of his intensity anymore and I can see how that adds to his feelings of self-worth and esteem. Needless to say we are very happy.
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Summary: Teachers, Parents and Grandparents Magnificent Magic Words!
Review: Thanks Howie, I have just completed reading your book and speaking as a former Junior High School teacher every teacher in the world should have to attend your seminar. Keep telling us specifically what to do and we will do it. I have tried a few of your Kodak Moments on my 22 year old grandson and experienced the beautiful results.
God Bless You and Your Work.
Wilma Pierce
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Summary: Tired of yelling, feeling bad, being mean? BUY THIS
Review: Howard sure does a great job with this book. Yes you will find some things repeated a lot but for someone like me, I need information to be repeated to make it 'stick in':) HE does a fantastic job with making us understand behaviors we see in our children, and every time I have a question, I realize the answer before hand. IT is just how we handle our kids that can help a great deal. IT doesn't mean you are a bad parent or care giver, it is just our children need different approaches and we often don't know what those approaches are. My children are all different. ONe is very difficult, one is mild but can be difficult and one is delayed so EXTREMEMLY difficult. Things have turned around in our family because I have read AND APPLIED everything from these books. WE have a little ways to go but with consistancy things are turning out well. My husband has even been much better. I even bought 2 copies of this book (one for my mom) and believe me, this is the last book I need. The ADHD, ODD diagnosis wasn't a death sentance, rather a wake up call and one badly needed. I wish I had found this book when My children where a year old. BUY IT. it is VERY WORTH IT.
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Summary: If you THINK you need this book -- GET IT NOW!
Review: My son was diagnosed ADHD (severe -- and I mean SEVERE), bipolar, and ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) nearly four years ago; shortly after he turned 7. Those first three years were pure hell. Between behaviors, education issues, medication issues, and regular everyday "boy stuff" -- I was losing hope. In my research on these different disorders -- particularly ODD as it was the one I was least familiar with -- I came across rather frightening info -- particularly that ODD that isn't stopped becomes CD (conduct disorder), which basically guarantees a life in prison or as a social
outcast of some other sort for the person in question. That's incredibly frightening for a parent to learn. Not only was my son diagnosed with something that was not very treatable, but if it didn't respond to treatment he was in for a lifetime of hell. I also read that the only thing PROVEN to be effective against persistent ODD is in-home intensive therapy. Well, we did in-home counseling and it didn't do much (more or less parent training, and it wasn't new information at all). I did get wrap-around services for my son, which includes an in-home mental health aid 4 days a week (now it's three, soon to be two). THIS is what worked:The groundwork I lay as far as behavior management and a positive discipline plan is contained wholly in this book. "The Nurtured Heart Approach" is the *only* approach that I felt good about, was easy to apply, was easy to stick with, and - most importantly - *WORKED*. This behavior plan, which includes a great point system at the end of the book-- was applied religiously and with total disregard for any protestations from my son (and daughter -- she's not got all his diagnoses, but it's a darned good plan and applies to an easy kid, too). Anyway, this plan was applied by *everyone* who worked with him -- at school (it's part of his IEP), at home, when visiting relatives, etc. Let me tell ya -- you *do* notice a difference
right away. It might be subtle at first, but today is one year since I started the nurtured heart approach with my son and he's a different kid. Honestly. His behaviors have been stable for 6 months now. We haven't had an outburst (fit of any kind) in two months. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone with a kid who has an ODD, ADHD, or bipolar diagnosis -- or is just plain difficult. My son's oppositional and defiant behaviors are no longer a huge issue. He's as oppositional and defiant as any other kid -- within the "normal" range and THIS is do-able. I can handle everyday, typical defiance -- ODD defiance/noncompliance is a BEAR. This book and its plan will get you going. I created a short form for the point system that I printed out and used daily to mark off the points earned (bonus points, points for not breaking the rules). At first we used a dry-erase board, but sometimes the rules/bonus items got smudged or wiped off and it became apparent that something easily reproduced was better. I
did point cards on business cards -- printing up a ton of 5 point, 25 point, 50 point, 100 point, 500 point cards. Several months ago we found it necessary to print 1000 and 2500 point cards -- THAT's how well my son is doing. This plan is the one that worked. We've done 1-2-3 Magic! and several other plans that not only didn't quite cover everything or did not leave a child's self-esteem intact and this is the only plan that I felt 100% good about - in my heart and in my head. AND, this plan covers EVERYTHING. It will work if you follow it and stick with it. And believe me, positive discipline plans are NOT like diets -- not all of them work if you just stick to and with them. Not every positive discipline plan out there works. THIS ONE DOES. Thank you Howard Glasser!
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Summary: What a difference a day makes
Review: It might be because my friend's therapist recommended this book with such excitement that I gave my all to trying these new ideas. I might have otherwise been resistant because I have tried quite a few other methods with barely any results. I didn't read the book all at once. I just followed the steps and watched this process unfold. It makes so much sense that I had been making the situation worse by trying regular approaches that somehow were rewarding my son's negativity. And step by step I clearly made a difference so quickly just by creating what amounts to a new "magnetic" force of successes. It sounds trite, but it really is like night and day. What blows me away is that my old methods worked so well with my other children and I can now see how I was in effect making my son feel successful for his poor choices. No one in their right mind would do this, but I was unintentionally doing this in a big way. It's been so much fun to reverse that situation and watch the results. I am certain that we will be able to discontinue the medications that have been so hit and miss anyway. It's about time. Well, I guess I am giving this a raving review. This approach is just a perfect fit.
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Summary: Sure Fire Recipe For Success
Review: Thanks for writing this great book!
It is a Sure Fire recipe for a child's success. With its many interesting and useful ingredients,it will bring an immeasurable amount of success to my sons life.It is important for me to provide encouragement and nurture the great spirit inside of him.
This book is full of wisdom and helpful tools.Active Recognition is a great tool!
It is fun to use and brings me great joy when I see what a positive impact it has on my son each day.
This book has opened my eyes to greater things than I thought possible. You stir it all together and you get SUCCESS!
It can't get much better than that.
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Summary: WORKS WONDERS WITH MY 10 YEAR OLD SON
Review: After I read Howard Glasser's information...I ordered the video tape.
I always knew I had to praise the good in my child but what I did not know was, what to do when he behaved very bad and accordingly I become his toy. His method is super, I never raise my voice any more, and spend so much positive time with him instead of lecturing him. Both my husband and I are now relieved and look very positive to the future. The method has already started to show its effects, and my son got the best result in his class in the recent tests. He has more self esteem now and a happier children even in 3 weeks. I suggest this method to everyone who thinks they have ADD Children. Please also note that we do not use any medication with my son!!!.
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Summary: Best Plan for Dealing with Persistent Problem Behaviors
Review: This is the very best plan I've ever come across. This is the only book I've read that feels genuine all the way through -- none of that "do this because I'm a psychologist and I ought to know what will work" junk. Howard Glasser's method is the only one I've ever come across and felt -- THIS WILL WORK. And it does work. I've been using it for nearly a year and the results are INCREDIBLE!! If you are dealing with difficult, persistent, problem behaviors -- whether your child is emotionally disabled, ADHD, ODD, OCD, CD, etc., -- this plan will work. This book will give you hope, an answer, and a step-by-step method to put it all into action.
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Summary: Finally an approach that makes my child FEEL loved
Review: This book is truly a goodsend. The idea or premise of this approach is to attend verbally to your child's positve actions more than the negative ones.The parent is to give these positive actions one's utmost heart felt appreciation while acknowledging the negative ones with the least bit of precious energy and time. Because most of us give more time to our children when they are doing something wrong then when they are doing something right we give them empty attention. Being the bright kids that they are they catch on to this torturous technique and run with it. The old hum hum "good job" doesn't give a child as many "bells and whistles" as the five minute reprimand does. Howard reminds us to simply begin a pattern of acknowledging (with all genuine exuberance and energy)the child for his "just being" and for his efforts of both doing right AND NOT doing wrong. When we do have to reprimand and issue a consequence for undesirable behavior it is to be done with such non-chalant behavior and stable, calm verbal reprimands. A point system is also used where children can feel secure that no one will repeal HARD EARNED points for slips of behavior. One must try to make sure that the difficult child has enough "emotional nutrition" through daily acknowledgments of the good behavior so the child doesn't seek out more intense usually negative means to get attention or energy. This book belongs on your shelf right next to Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, Carol Kranowitz and Stanley Greenspan,M.D. Other great books include: Playful Parenting, and Raising Cain.
His great web site ...workshops on this method are offered throughout the states.
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Summary: The most effective approach I've found!
Review: Howard Glasser's insight on what feeds a childs behavior has given me back my son! I was a parent at wit's end - dreading coming home at the end of the day. There were constant power struggles and "incidents" that made me want to runaway from home! But after reading "Transforming the Difficult Child" and later viewing the video, I found the motivation that caused my son to behave the way that he did. In the very first week of trying Dr. Glasser's method, I saw immediate improvement. Now I look forward to spending time with my son because I know how NOT to respond and discipline. This book is a must for any parent who finds that the 'traditional' discipline methods only make things worse. It's a loving, nurturing, and best of all, effective alternative that will net you results. There's hope here!!
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