Rating:  Summary: A classic Review: This is an excellent book on male-female relationships and I've found it very very helpful and with excellent practical applications to my own relationship. Most of the issues discussed fit my life to a T. The insights on men are brilliant. The solutions have really worked for me as a woman. If you're in a serious, long-term relationship, this book would be extremely helpful. I think the repetitions are there to stress a point and are good.
Rating:  Summary: WORST BOOK EVER Review: if you want to solve your problems speak with each other. when me or my wife have a problem we just speak it out don't waist money on this book it woun't help you at all.
Rating:  Summary: Don't waste your money or time on this book Review: I bought my book second hand and it was not worth the $4.50. If you were to take the content to heart, you might believe the only way for men and women to get along would be to not talk to each other at all. According to Gray, women should not ever correct a man, give him advice, her opinion, or make unreasonable requests - such as taking out the garbage. Are you kiddding me? If I didn't know it was written during my lifetime, I would assume it was a 1950s home economics primer on how to be a good housewife. If these ridiculous stereotypical statements were true, then I'd actually be a man (which I'm not). As others have said, the author is irritatingly repetitive. Perhaps he was trying to fulfill a publisher's word count requirement, but it makes it difficult to get through - I found myself reading the first paragraph and skipping ahead to the next section. I kept hoping I'd find something better in the next chapter--no such luck. It could have been a very funny book based on the underlying premise that men and women behave, react and communicate differently. It was not at all enjoyable.
Rating:  Summary: Utter rubbish that belittles men AND women Review: Lots of the negative reviews on this site are by women who feel patronized by Grey's superficial and insulting claptrap.However the book is just as insulting to men. It's core message to men is: you can fix your relationship by not acting like a complete jerk every time you're with your partner, even if it's only once a week, and even if you aren't sincere. For example, Grey thinks you'll be the world's #1 chick-magnet if you show appreciation for the fact that your partner does all the cooking, cleaning, garbage duties etc. Never mind offering to actually contribute to the relationship, just nod when your partner complains about doing all the work. Many of the anecdotes come from John Grey's own experiences. From what the man describes of his own shallow and cavemanlike behaviour, it's no wonder that all the women he knows complain a lot! If my brain ever fell out and I started to take any of Grey's advice, I reckon my now happy and fulfilling marriage would be over in a year (just like John Grey's). How anyone can read this book and rave is beyond me - dreadful beyond words, and dangerous to boot. I'm so glad I read a borrowed copy - if I'd helped John Grey get rich(er) I'd be ashamed. Worth WAY less than one star.
Rating:  Summary: It works for me. Review: Okay, the book is repetitive and occasionally cloying (the 'love letters' are a little bit hilarious) but I have to say that when I look back at former relationships, there were arguments that could have been scripted from the pages of this book. Of course, it isn't going to apply to all individuals, nor do I think that it pretends to do so. I've found that by making some of the suggested adjustments, I really do get better results in dealing with men. Ultimately, that's the best testimonial that I can give.
Rating:  Summary: An Ideal Relationship Review: In many of the chapters the facts were diluted by John Gray's opinions. Many of the experiences were between John and his wife. This made the book very personalized and hard to apply into my own life. Many of chapters based on womens moods or mens manlyness are based on the indivisual. This also makes it hard to apply to your wife or girlfriend. This book is probably best for married couples. Though I am not married some of the chapters helped me understand how a typical woman would react to certain events. The points made are all very strong and are able to strengthen one's relationship if practiced properly. It is impossible to miss any of the points made because of the repition that John Gray uses. This caused me often times to skim the chapter instead of fully reading through it. Though many of the points were diluted by his opinion, all of them had a hint of truth in them.
Rating:  Summary: IT DOES NOT SPEAK FOR ME! Review: Poor, poor John Gray! It is not his fault that the types whom he dealt with and whose problems were mentioned in this book - especially the female parties - are (pardon my expression) - if not fools - next to fools. Plus my rating does not apply to the authour's writing skills, or degrees, or advices (how else could he have dealt with problems of such creatures) etc etc.... Somehow, although I am very, very woman and that prefer a better world for women, this book has caused me to take men's side in some respects. One star applies to the types. What is wrong with the husband's getting stuck to his chair in front of TV? What is wrong if he wants to relax by starting reading a daily paper very shortly after he comes home from work? What is wrong if he tries to offer solutions to problems the wife is conplaining about? What is wrong if he does not listen much - or as deeply as the wife (J.G. puts) wants him to- to the 'mostly' unnecessary details? I can blame or accuse men in some respects but let's (we, women) realise their basic rights!!!! Human being - man or woman - does not like to listen to matters that are not interest to him or her. And of God , those 101 rules to win your wife's heart!!! Many of them made me wonder whether women expecting those rules to be complied really need husbands or slaves?! The guys certainly have to be interested in family matters and help the wives whenever possible. But I think that if woman respects his simple pleasures instead of being too sensitive about 'his listening to things that are not really of interest to him' , she will have chance to enjoy 'her own pleasures' , instead of having a 'nervous breakdown'. Well there is an advice that worth to pay attention to : It is not important what you say , it is important how you say it. However , that applies to any relationship , and not only to relationship between married parties. Another thing, this book cannot speak for every society or culture in the world and that women need to have a lot of things 'BEFORE' what this book claims women should have . Plus it repeats things too many times. My last word about this book , yeah read the title.
Rating:  Summary: The key to better communication Review: John Gray is a genius! This is the ultimate handbook that reveals the secrets of how a man's and a woman's mind truly works. Gray clearly explains how men and woman's meathods of communication are so different. It is up to the reader to understand the differences and utilize the information Gray gives to improve thier relationships with the opposite sex. I personally enjoyed the illustration of men going into their caves to solve their problems. It helped me to understand that men need to solve their problems on their own.
Rating:  Summary: Eliminate the repetition, what¿s left is true. Review: The worst thing about this book is its repetition. First he tells you what he is going to say, then he says it, then he tells you what he just said. Then he repeats the gist of it between dotted lines in the middle of the page. When Gray cites examples, he lists so many that I, for one, don't have the patience to read the whole list. Plus, you may already be familiar with many of the ideas expressed, so you may find yourself skimming most of this book. The best thing is that if you take away the repetition, the ideas expressed are true and useful for most people. At least, I think so, and I scoffed at the title, insisting I must be from Jupiter, and refused to read it for years. Much of the advice to women I had already figured out on my own. (Example: you notice the garbage can is overflowing and wish your man would empty it. You wonder why he didn't notice & empty it already, and wish he would do it without being asked. You feel tempted to deliver a long lecture about why he should have done it already, and present an airtight case that he is guilty of neglect. The question is, which is more important, 1. proving you are right and he is wrong, or 2. getting an empty bag in the garbage can? If the answer is 2., skip the lecture and just ask him politely to do it.) My favorite chapter was "Women Are Like Waves." In it, Gray describes a cyclical fluctuation in women's moods. Just when it seems a woman is on top of the world, she plummets, and has to reach bottom before feeling good again. Gray's wife Bonnie calls the down part of the cycle being in a well. When a woman is in her well, she confronts whatever is difficult in her life. Gray advises men to resist the temptation to try to "fix" the problem, and just be there for her and listen. He warns that the woman will feel worse before she feels better, because she has to "bottom out" before she can rise again. The most important point is that the whole thing will reoccur. Any unresolved issues in a woman's life will reappear whenever she's in her well, whether they are from her past, problems with her current relationship, her career, etc. This can create a sense of "déjà vu" in an intimate relationship - "didn't we talk about this already?" From my own experience, I believe this pattern exists, at least during difficult times, and I can understand how these reoccurring conversations must be puzzling and frustrating for men. Gray's advice to them is right on target. This book has often been criticized for perpetuating stereotypes or insisting everyone is the same. Many readers seem to have ignored this caveat on page 6: "I make many generalizations about men and women in this book. Probably you will find some comments truer than others...after all, we are unique individuals with unique experiences." I don't know why some readers have thought this book is insulting to women. It describes women as caring, feeling individuals who want to connect with others. It could just as easily be said it insults men by portraying them as pre-verbal, insensitive troglodytes driven by power, competition, and the fear of intimacy. Personally, I think both sexes are portrayed fairly. The aim of the book is not to pigeonhole people, but to alleviate misunderstandings brought about by common differences between men and women in what we value, what motivates us, and how we communicate. Because of the repetition, I don't think the book is worth buying. But it's worth going out of your way to borrow it from a friend, from the library, or to spend some time with it in your local bookstore.
Rating:  Summary: If we had just known about this book... Review: This book gives an excellent description of female-male (mis-)communication patterns. I found numerous sample dialogues that seemed like word-by-word recordings from my own past. I feel that knowing (and acting upon) the interpretations and suggestions provided, some of the problems leading to my recent disengagement could have been resolved. This is a "MUST READ" for all couples committed to make their relationship succeed.
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