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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships

List Price: $25.00
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Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 4 stars
Summary: A Good Guide to Communication in a Relationship
Review: ¡§Men are From Mars, Woman are From Venus¡¨ (MAFM) is filled with insightful advice and many illustrative examples on how to communicate effectively in relationships. Gray places a large emphasis on the importance of marital relationships and endeavors to help couples, going through rough times, to communicate effectively with each other. Within the context of modern society, where marriage is very often presented in popular media as an archaic social construct, it is refreshing to find a person that regards marriage with such high esteem.

MAFM explores some of the fundamental differences between men and women and seeks to explain why men/women act in the way they do. Gray aims to help readers to understand ¡§how completely different men and women are¡¨ but encouragingly teaches ¡§ways for successfully relating with, listening to, and supporting the opposite sex.¡¨ Gray places a large emphasis on ¡§practical techniques¡¨ and calls MAFM ¡§a practical manual for how to succeed in creating loving relationships.¡¨ MAFM is drawn from the author¡¦s own observations in an active counseling practice and from his own experience as a married man and father.

Men are described as ¡§rubber bands.¡¨ According to Gray, a man needs to ¡§pull away to fulfill his need for independence or autonomy.¡¨ Gray asserts that if men do ¡§not have an opportunity to pull away, he never gets a chance to feel his strong desire to feel close.¡¨ Gray also observes, ¡§When a man is stressed he will withdraw into the cave of his mind and focus on solving a problem.¡¨ Women, on the other hand, are described as ¡§waves.¡¨ ¡§When she feels loved,¡¨ says Gray, ¡§her (a woman¡¦s) self-esteem rises and falls in a wave motion.¡¨ Gray notes that, ¡§a woman¡¦s ability to give and receive love in her relationships is generally a reflection of how she is feeling about herself.¡¨ Gray also asserts women, in general, ¡§feel better by talking about solving problems.¡¨

Gray asserts, ¡§Most of our complex emotional needs can be summarized as the need for love.¡¨ He then identifies the primary needs of men as ¡§trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval and encouragement.¡¨ Woman¡¦s primary emotional needs, says Gray, are ¡§caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation and reassurance.¡¨ Once these primary needs have been isolated, Gray argues that, for a successful relationship, a husband must be willing to meet the emotional needs of his wife and vice versa. If men/women do not set out to fulfill each other¡¦s needs then they may be unknowingly hurting their partner. ¡§Love,¡¨ says Gray, ¡§often fails because people instinctively give what they want¡K.So they are caught in a loop of failing to fulfill each other¡¦s needs.¡¨ Gray asserts that ¡§if men and women learn how to support each other in the ways that are most important for their own unique needs, change and growth will become automatic.¡¨

Gray also addresses the complex issue of arguments, and how they can be avoided. He asserts that men and women should ¡§negotiate¡¨ for what they want but that they shouldn¡¦t ¡§argue.¡¨ ¡§The secret to avoiding arguments,¡¨ says Gray, ¡§is loving and respectful communication.¡¨ He stresses that arguments should be identified and, once identified, people should stop and take a time out. He says that arguments are started for one reason: ¡§we are not feeling loved.¡¨ Although there may be apparent surface issues the deeper issue is the lack of love that a person feels. During difficult times in a relationship, it is important, according to Gray, ¡§to try to communicate with a loving, validating, and approving attitude.¡¨ If we endeavor to understand the emotional needs of our partner and work towards meeting those needs then arguments can be avoided.

Gray also sets about illuminating positive methods to communicate difficult emotions and needs to ones partner. He acknowledges the importance of having emotional needs met and constantly emphasizes that we need to inform our partners as to what those needs are and how to communicate those needs effectively to each other. His use of letters with clearly defined formats that encourage simple and meaningful communication are novel in their method and style. It is certainly something I will attempt to use in the future when I wish to communicate difficult feelings to my wife.

Although I find myself in agreement with much that is in this book, I do not agree with the expectations that he places within people. Gray talks about the ¡§love you deserve¡¨ and emphasizes this point towards the end of the book. I do not believe that it is correct to expect anything within a relationship although I feel I am obliged to give 100%. If I expect certain needs to be met, and those needs are not met, I will feel very disappointed. Other points I disagree with is his insistence that we get in touch with our repressed, painful feelings. Although they need to be worked out, we should not hover over them and be victims to them. We should rather empower ourselves in the here and now than be slaves to the past.

Apart from these differences, I found MAFM to be an encouraging book that delves into the depths of relationships and the causes for failures. The practical examples that are provided are insightful and do reflect the reality of relationships. Ultimately, this book is no guarantee to successful relationships, but rather it provides willing partners, who are both prepared to commit 100% to the relationship, greater understanding into the psych of their chosen one. MAFM shows how men and women can work with each other to enhance the good in their relationship and how they can confront difficult and troubling circumstances with hope.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Gender Stereotypes Gone Wild
Review: The quantity of positive reviews for this claptrap simply astonishes me. I read this book due to the vast quantity of bad press it generated. I had to vomit after every chapter. He insults both male and female with equal aplomb.
On a technical level, the book is poorly written and monotonous. Any analogy can be overused, which is why rhetoric coaches and writing guides attempt to stress the conservative use of an analogy. Gray obviously missed this idea in his education (that is assuming the Science of Creative Intelligence from the Maharishi European Research University or his mail-order Ph.D. program even teach you how to write). The man is poorly educated, he has no credentials, and not even a whit of academic respectability to back him up. Now, none of these things necessitate a poor writer, but when mixed with the fact that the man is an absolute idiot and a raving misogynist, the book must, by necessity, .....
Content-wise, this is nothing but a backlash fueled attempt to re-establish the paradigms of male domination and female submission that centuries of western, mainly religious, dogma has forced down our throats. The truth is that as soon as a child exits the womb, they are treated according to predetermined gender roles. That earliest treatment, when a child is most impressionable, heavily impacts their behavior later in life. The miracle is that some of us are able to escape from the gender apartheid that our world wields. We attempt to enlighten others, but most are too buried in their delusions to even try to consider what is being said.
Stereotyping a person results in nothing but harm and sorry. Honesty and dealing with each and every person, despite race, gender, creed, religion, or sexual orientation, is the only way to have a healthy relationship. Don't trust what this man says. He and his kind package putrid, rotten, odorous lies in funereal spices, roll them in silk and sell them as cushions to comfort those destroyed by the gender roles of our society. Though you may not be able to smell the stench now, it will eventually corrupt you and everything around you.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: All married and not yet married couples must hear this tape
Review: This is a must hear audiobook. It offers very clear understanding to male and female mentality. Women, if you want to understand men, then you should listen to Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray. This audiobook is also quite entertaining.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus....=)
Review: Ashley Romano
Book Review

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, is a book on real life relationships. It talks about the different languages men and women speak, and how to deal with them, how to score points with the opposite sex, how to ask and receive support, how to avoid arguments and basically all you need to know in order to have a happy and successful relationship. Author John Gray does an amazing job in representing both men and women's point of view on everything. Typically you would think that since Gray is a male he would talk more about men and how they are superior, but he does not. You can see that he did a lot of research and probably interviewed many people, especially women, before sitting down to write this book.
After reading the first chapter of this book in my expository writing class, I immediately wanted to read the rest of it. I went out a few days later and brought the book, it had me hooked the whole time I read it. I am amazed at how well the author represents each and every aspect of a relationship, both by the men and women. I also think it's great how all the stuff he says is so accurate. I was reading in the book and every other minute I was thinking to myself "Oh my gosh, so true" or just laughing to myself.
Throughout the book John Gray wrote some lists, mainly of common queries, or misunderstandings between couples. Those were my favorite parts of the book, because I was like, "Whoa this guy really knows what he's talking about." Another main thing that had me hooked into the book was how he presented everything. When he wanted to talk about how men always try and help but usually make things worse, he called it "Mr. Fix-It and the Home Improvement Committee." The author also added in some example problems, in which he interviewed different couples. He would present you the problem, what both people had to say and then offered a solution. I think that was very effective because sometimes, just like in math class, it's all a bunch of mumble jumble, until you got an example, then you totally understand it.
This book is a necessity for everyone, both men and women. At some point everyone is in a relationship, successful or unsuccessful. This book can help you understand you partner better, especially if you are in a relationship right now. If you are not you can better understand why your last relationship failed if you are unclear, or learn how to make the best of your next relationship. I believe that anyone who reads this book will get a lot of humor out of it, because the author hits everything right on the nose, so its completely accurate and will have you laughing. You will also learn a lot from this book I think, so I give it a thumbs up and recommend it to everyone, whether you are fifteen and beginning to experience relationships or eighty five and have experienced them for a long time.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: I recommend this book to many visitors to my website
Review: I was skeptical of this book at first, but one year I bought a 365 Page-a-day calendar with topics from this book "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" by John Gray, and my husband & I ended up ripping some of the pages off, turning them over & writing notes to each other like, "This is why I act that way, that confuses you." After one year, we understood each other a great deal more, had more compassion & insight into how the other person felt during disagreements or stressful trials of life. I highly recommend this book, and think that it is silly to diss this book for it's down-to-earth style of writing. That is precisely what makes it an easy & fast read, and frankly--if you are having issues with your beloved, you don't want to have to stop and analyze every single sentence to see if you really "got" what the author is trying to say. John Gray is very up-front and open about issues, and has a relaxed sense of humor that helps to de-tense a volatile subject between the sexes.

Do yourself & your significant other a favor, and give this a try. I am SO glad we did! I also recommend trying to find a Page-A-Day calendar like I did, because when you leave it in the bathroom your guy will most likely read it :) when trying to get him to read an entire book is likely impossible.

By the way, this calendar started a tradition of leaving love notes for each other every day, which we've done now ever since!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: For those who want to be appreciated and cherished
Review: This book clearly explains what women need to understand about men to keep them in love with you and vise versa. It explains that you need to give the opposite sex what it needs not what you want them to have. I was amazed by how my incorrect interpretation of things in my 4 year marriage made so many matters unnecessarily frustrating. I have also been shocked by the positive response my husband has shown to my use of these methods. He is picking up his socks, he is taking out the trash, he is talking to me and doing it gladly because I now know how to ask and how to respond to make him want to. My eyes have been opened to how deeply he already loved me without me being able to appreciate it. Don't listen to the naysaying reviews. This book is full of truth even if it isn't politically correct.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Happily married for 29 years!
Review: I'll admit that I was skeptical with all of the furor over this book, however I believe it does provide valid insights into the male/female differences in outlook. We DO think and act differently and at times when our beloved's behavior is most confusing it really does help to have someone actually address the problem with an insight we would never have considered. I think John Gray is a little bit too warm-and-fuzzy for a lot of men but he makes a number of valid observations that I found to be valuable not only with my spouse but also dealing with men in business. It is not the ONLY relationship tool you will need but it can offer explanations for behaviors that seem unpredictable and unfathomable to women, simply because they are so different for our own behavior.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Insulting sexist blather
Review: I was absolutely appalled at the blatant sexism of this book. It is nothing but a collection of tired old gender stereotypes. The only thing good that can be said about this book is that Gray is impartial; he insults both men and women equally. He focusses on the most superficial aspects of human behavior as if they were profound, innate, and of the greatest importance. According to "Doctor" Gray, the secret to having a successful relationship is to resign yourself to the fact that your partner is petty and shallow and always will be. This book gives people dangerously bad advice. There are plenty of good books available on relationship psychology by knowledgeable authors. Read them and avoid this book. It is worthless.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Good book to understand the opposite sex
Review: I read this book and now i completly understand about men and I agree on what Gray said about women becuase it's true. Well I love this book and I want to get other books from Gray.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: not because it's simple, it's not helpful
Review: Some books are very simple in their statements.
This is one of it.
But it's also very original in some concepts.
I found it really very helpful to understand why women and men are different in our approach to life.
I recommend it.


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