Rating:  Summary: Don't read this book! Review: I find this book highly offensive because it promotes current gender stereotypes, without proposing changes, besides accomadation, to behaviors that perhaps shouldn't be in relationships in the first place. This book seems to be telling women that they need to make all of the accomadations in the relationship, while men are encouraged to be accomadating if they feel like it! Overall, I find that men are portrayed as relational neanderthals while women are unreasonably relationally needy. There may be some people like this, but most people I've met aren't that extreme. There are parts of the book that have a ring of truth, though, such as the needs of men and women. But I prefer a reliable book that will teach me how to be better and how to have a happier, stronger relationship. I HIGHLY recommend John Gottman's, "Seven Principles that Make Marriage Work." I have been very impressed with his book, and he is the foremost scholar in the marriage interaction field in the world.
Rating:  Summary: Great Book on Improving Your Relationship Review: I really like this book. At a time where everyone wants equality for the sexes, it's vital to be aware of our naturally different temperaments.In today's society, where we try to give everyone equal rights, equally chance, equal opportunities, we tend to forget that we are different. Books like this one by Dr Gray, remind us that no, you can't treat everyone the same. There is no total equality. Men will be men, and women will be woman. And especially when it comes to intimate relationships between man and wife; how much more crucial it is--to be cognizant of one another's psychological differences and respect each other's natural needs, desires and wants. Highly recommended. Zev Saftlas, Author of Motivation That Works: How to Get Motivated and Stay Motivated PS here is a cheat sheet for reviewing the ideas in the book at a glace. Differences men/women Men Need: 1. Acceptance 2. Appreciation 3. Admiration 4. Approval 5. Trust 6. Encouragement Common mistakes men make: 1. Minimize the importance of feelings 2. Listens and gets upset - thinks she's blaming him - just listen 3. Doesn't reassure her Women Need THESE THINGS CONSTANTLY - EVERY SINGLE DAY - YESTERDAY DOESN'T COUNT! 1. Caring 2. Understanding 3. Respect 4. Devotion 5. Validation 6. Reassurance Common mistakes women make: 1. Improve him constantly 2. Doesn't acknowledge what he does, complains 3. Tells him like a baby (treats him)
Rating:  Summary: Some Good Advice in There... Review: Well I have checked out the mentioned sites in an earlier review and it appears to be true that Mr. Gray has no credentials whatsoever. More over the book tends to go on and on and at points you get so bored you just can't read more than 2-4 pages at a time. HOWEVER, there are some interesting things in there that make you think... "yeah, guys do act like that somtimes" or "yeah, I, as a woman, feel that way at times". I believe this book gives you a glimps of male-female relationships and can help you get an idea of how you can handle such a relationship when it is struggling. I wouldn't go as far as calling this book The Bible of Relationships, but I do believe reading it is beneficial, and would not be a waste of time or money. I think it would be a good idea for a couple to read this book together. You might disagree with a few parts, you might find other parts downright silly, but for the most part, you will find this book quite helpful.
Rating:  Summary: If you read this book, be sceptical. Review: This book could be helpful for you if you just so happen to fall into the patterns John Gray describes. If you don't, don't feel pressured to conform to his descriptions in your pursuit of happiness. Just because it says Ph.D. after his name does not necessarily mean that his opinions are correct. They may work for some people but don't force the issue if the shoe just doesn't fit because this is anything but a "one size fits all" book. This book's descriptions of men and women and it's philosophies for finding harmony and happiness are biased in favor of men. Here's how it works. Essentially, if the man decides to enter his "cave" then there isn't one single thing the woman can do and, from John Gray's perspective, the same thing is true for the man. It's simply a time when only one course of action - leaving the man alone - will solve anything. Though it is true that, when people are edgy, they may need some space. Still, Gray says that it happens all the time for men and that they just can't help it. Though it may also be true that sometimes people need some alone time just for its own sake, still, Gray's philosophy, if bought into by a couple, can easily lead to the man misusing the idea of the "cave" to justify unnecessary and even selfish distancing which may actually hurt the relationship in the long run. Gray does use some humor and clever metaphors to put forth his points, but, just because you laugh or find a metaphor easy to understand does not necessarily mean that you are being taught correct ideas. If you read this book, be skeptical.
Rating:  Summary: A *POSITIVE* Review- a must read book for sure! Review: I had to write when I saw the number of angry frustrated reviewers. So many people expecting a book on such a general broad topic not to generalize. I'm a woman, and let me just say woman to woman, if you are looking for a book to solve all your problems or totally help you understand the male mind, or totally give you all the flaws of men and all the wonderful things of women, (to either demonize or glorify either gender) then you will hate this book because your expectations are insane. If you want a book that can help you learn to control or manipulate the opposite sex, or make you feel you are always right and validate you- again stay away!! Second off, if you are against the very possibility that men and women can have actual gender differences that we are born with (not learned) you will also hate this book. I doubt a feminist would like this book- hence all the "misogynist" name calling flung at Mr.Gray. Don't even bother to pick it up if you think we are all the same we just learn roles. This book is for those that have already caught on to the fact that we are different in a "general" way. Also- If you are fearful of men or women- or have been deeply hurt to start with- you might HATE this book. Third, if you have someone in your life who is frustrating and manipulative or is doing really bad things, don't expect this book to be the one to point all that out about your opposite sex mate or to help you solve it. What this book does give is very practical information on gender differences that is not super elaborate. After being married for a few years it was clear to me that there were some basic things I didn't "get" about men, and ways we were miscommunicating. I got this book and I learned so much helpful things that are very simple and basic. Years after reading this book I still go back to it. It emphasizes the strengths and weaknesses of different genders. It shared with me things that I never knew that when I checked out for myself proved to be very accurate. Yes it is simplistic, this is-again not some deep therapy- "I'll explain every detail to you" book, but for a simple basic eye opening book-- I loved it. I hope his other books prove just as helpful/insightful as this one. I will give it to my daughter before she ever gets started dating. It helped me so much in my relationship to speak my husbands language and for him to speak mine.
Rating:  Summary: Not as great as I had hoped Review: I was advised to read this by a professor during my study of marriage and couples counseling. The beginning of the book turned me off with is overly simplistic stereotyping, but as I kept reading I found some of the generalizations to be eye opening and fairly accurate. Unfortunately, by the end of the book Gray takes to pushing his other materials: books, audiotapes and seminars. All in all I think this book is probably worth reading (although I'd wait for the paperback), especially for the lay person. This books is probably particularly helpful for people who have little experience in psychology and who generally do not spend a lot of time thinking about relationships.
Rating:  Summary: I thought it was pretty good. Review: A very in depth book on relationships. I liked his point system, it really made a lot of sense to me. I would recommend it for anybody looking to build a relationship and keep a relationship going.
Rating:  Summary: It is a great tool! Review: This is a great book. I bought it both for my in-laws and my parents and I honestly recommend it to any couple that seems to have problems with understanding each other. My husband loves it too. He read it after I did and would come and ask me: "Did you read chapter 7? It is so good...I wish I knew all this before I met you". We are a newly married couple and this book seemed to help a lot with "the translation" of the meaning that comes with our words and gestures. It is indeed eye opening and very helpful in describing small steps and small changes that you can do in your everyday life to bring more peace in your family and rediscover the strength of the love you have for your partner! It is the beginning of a transformation process that only you can continue so if your looking for an answer this book might have it for you but you have to use it the right way and maybe reread it every so often. It made a big difference for us.
Rating:  Summary: The doctor is out(ed) Review: Brought up in an era committed to equality between the sexes, I was usefully shocked by this presentation of systematic differences between men and women and how they show up in relationships. Gray's ideas are not original, but they are clearly and imaginatively presented. The core of the book is in Chapter 12. The rest of the book rambles somewhat, as another reviewer has noted. Be wary of Gray's advice on relationships: his claimed professional qualifications have recently been exposed (http://buzz.weblogs.com/2003/11/14) as 'worthless'.
Rating:  Summary: This Book Doesn't Work! Review: After reading this book I have come to the conclusion that it is backwards. While most dating and relationship books like this focus on understanding the differences between men and women I suggest one focuses on the similarities between the sexes by exploring universal laws of human behavior. Check out the book STUMBLING NAKED IN THE DARK. It simply makes more sense and it actually works!
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