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Summary: An explanation of why marriage works
Review: I found this book while trying desparately to understand why my second marriage was failing. It showed why we are attracted to our partners and what to do to progress the relationship. My marriage was saved and is now completely fulfilling and successful. Every year I give this book to two or three friends whose marriages are not what they ought to be. That is the highest recommendation of all.
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Summary: A non-married person's insight into this marriage manual
Review: I read this book in the hope of saving a marriage that later failed because my spouse was unwilling to join my quest for knowledge. However, I continued to read the book, constantly enlivened and amazed at the insight I gained into all my relationships with everyone in my life and past. I recommend this joyful treatise on living and loving for everyone who wants to obtain their full spiritual and emotional potential.
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Summary: Surprising information on marriage that rings true.
Review: Just reading this book gave me great optimism about my marriage and my ability to greatly improve it. His exercises provide explicit and practical steps to take to meet the conflicts and sense of something missing and turn them into relationship and personal growth. The book begins by explaining things you never thought to ask, like 'why was I so attracted to this particular person I married?' He then goes on to describe how the things left unresolved from our childhood experience with our parents become the major themes in the new family created by marriage.
The explainations have a common sense feel of the truth being told. From the understanding of how marraage works it becomes easy to see for the first time what creates the tensions and what to do about them.
As a marriage therapist Hendrix assumes major problems is your marriage. If your marrage is still in good shape
he may seem to overstate the conflicts but the descriptions and cures very much on target and useful.
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Summary: AUTHOR REVIEW - FIVE STARS
Review: I read Hendrix's book, "Getting the love you want" and was taken with its simplicity. He offers a great deal of help for anyone who wants to obtain a meaningful, healthy relationship. His approach is fresh and free of the typical demonization of others. Excellent book that I highly recommend.John D. Moore, MS, CADC
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Author of Confusing Love with Obsession
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Summary: It brought me comfort and understanding
Review: My relationship of 16 months has been faltering for 8 months. Three weeks ago my girlfriend told me she "didn't want to be with me anymore." I was devastated. I've spent the last three weeks living and re-living all the events of our relationship and have talked to friends for hours ad-nauseum. The relationship started out so well. We had been acquaintences for 8 years. Friends for 2 1/2 years and finally entered into a relationship 16 months ago. The stages of our relationship eerily followed the book. My pain, confusion and loss was all-consuming. I could find no understanding within myself, no peace and no answers. Then one of my friends recommended I read this book. I had gone through a "self-help book" craze 9 years ago for another issue I was dealing with. Although I did find some answers after reading so many books I ended up overdosing on them and haven't read one since. I was not enthusiastic at all about revisiting the "self-help" area again. But I opened the book and read the first couple sentences and knew immediately...instinctively...that this was the book that would be able to help me understand many of the issues we must face in relationships....why we are attracted to certain people and not others...what happens to relationships once you get comfortable with the other person and you begin to lower your "guard"...why many of the things you do to try to "fix" your partner actually do more to drive the partner away. As other readers have noted, this book will not be effective for immature readers. Although I am a bit wary of psychologists that embrace a single theory to explain behavior, I found the rest of this book valuable and directly applicable to my life. Thank God for this book. It has enabled me to have my first good night sleep in three weeks. Even if your partner lacks the maturity to absorb, understand and apply the message in this book, it will give -you- the tools you need to ensure a better relationship in the future. Thank you Dr Hendrix for writing this book!
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Summary: Getting the love you want-AUDIO CASSETTE
Review: This audio cassette was a complete waste of money!!! I could have read the front and back cover of the book and got the same information as this tape. I purchased it along with the workbook hoping that we could use the two together. That won't happen. In order to use the workbook effectively I have to buy the book and read it. The purpose of purchasing the audio tape was so we could (as a couple) listen to what Mr Harville Hendrix had to say..ya know spend some time together and still enhance our relationship. Well unless I spend more money and time to purchase the book then read it(with kids...HAHA)I will never know how good Mr Hendrix is. Complete waste of money...so disappointed.
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Summary: greater insight.
Review: This book approach is quite interesting to read as you will discover the "roots" of some of your marriage problems and will gain greater insight.
But insight alonen won't solve your problems. Therefore, the author presents 16 exercises, which you can do together with your spouse to work on your relationship.
What's really missing in this book is an integration of modern research findings into the dynamics of relationships.
I really found highly interesting in the book Sex and the perfect lover by Mabel Iam and I buy it B&N.com
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Summary: A Note from a Villanova University Senior Thesis Group
Review: No one should be allowed to marry or even graduate from high school without a thorough-going understanding of this book. It may be the 1 thing (if there IS only 1 thing) we could do to improve our world - IMAGINE: feeling love and Being Loved year after year, decade after decade...it can be done, it has been done, most of us want that desperately...and if we learned how to do this, then we'd find ourselves in a happier citizenry, enjoy thriving kids from intact families in a civil society. The Hendrixes nail it... heavygoing reading, mind you... but heavygoing reading beats heavy heartbreak any day of the week... and heavier-going post-divorce years and what it does to the couple, the kids, the extended family, friends, the neighborhood, the community... it's too high a price to pay, especially if it turns out to be a Huge Mistake for all involved. GENIUS, GIFTED. A classic that no one could ever improve on. Thanks a million Dr. Hendrix! P.S. OPRAH also says he and his wife are The Best at explaining all of this - and I take Oprah's word on a LOT of things - since she has done a LOT of hard things Well.
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Summary: Excellent resource for couples
Review: As a psychologist in a college counseling center, I don't often have the opportunity to work with couples, but when I do, I always recommend this book. GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT is an excellent self-help manual which is appropriate for all couples looking to enhance or to repair their relationship. Harville addresses the unconscious factors which contribute to who we choose as a mate, particularly the impact that significant figures from our childhoods (namely, our parents) can have on our relationships. He goes on to discuss in detail his Ten Characteristics of Developing a Conscious Marriage (or relationship). Each characteristic is illustrated using examples as well as a series of simple exercises which couples complete either individually or together. The 16 exercises are what make this book effective, and so it is vital that couples using the book make a commitment to work together. Those who are motivated for change will reap the rewards of this excellent self-help tool.
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Summary: Working much faster than anticipated!
Review: This book is packed FULL of information and ideas that you've never even thought about! There are things that happen in a relationship, the way we act, respond and instigate that we never realized WHY. This book explains it and explains it WELL! I could barely put this book down. Let me just say that I am SINGLE and I bought this book in hopes of helping me figure out why all of my relationships end up being so rocky, dramatical and emotionally draining. I totally understand now! The author explains how our childhood and our relationship with our parents plays an important role in our choosing of partners. I agree with it 100%! It's very interesting to say the least. The author points out several critical triggers that are crucial in identifying reasons we behave the way we do. He also includes wonderful exercises to assist us to overcome some of our conditional thinking from our "old brains" which would be the imprints in our minds of what we learned when we were young & growing up. Every single and married person alike should read this book. It's an eye opener and definitely a helping hand to healing and beginning a healthy relationship. Even if you're currently in a relationship, this book tells you how you can start to change some of the ways you think helping to re-create the romance and love you once shared. I highly recommend this book. You WONT be disappointed!
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