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Summary: This book CAN save your life
Review: I read a review on here that said calling codependency "a progressive disease which can eventually lead to death is absolutely ludicrous, sky-high rhetoric." I am glad this reviewer has never felt the overwhelming depression and despair of codependency that can lead to thoughts of suicide but I am here to tell you that I have felt it and this book did save my life. Fortunately, I read it at a time when I needed it most. For anyone to say that you just need to "get a life" or grow up, they are obviously not people who need this book. If you feel that you are constantly going in circles trying to please everyone in your life, this is the book for you. If you feel that you are not "good enough" to be around other people, this book is for you. Even if you are not surrounded by chemically-dependent people you can still be codependent. I read this book for the first time about 12 years ago. I have bought and given away many copies and don't even own my own copy at this point. Getting past being a people-pleaser does not make you nasty or selfish or an egomaniac. Instead it allows you to give of yourself fully to those things that YOU want to give fully to. You learn to say yes to what you really want to do instead of being a doormat who can never say no because it just isn't nice. Read this book for yourself. Please don't let the naysayers persuade you against this book. You don't have to be a fan of 12-step programs to read this book. I tried that route and it did not work for me but this book did. Good luck to everyone becoming the person you were meant to be!
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Summary: Looking for how to change? Get this book.
Review: Many books have been written on growing up in an alcoholic or otherwise destructive house. While it is important as a first step to know how some of our bad habits and attitudes get developed (the "why"), it is CRITICAL to know the "how": how can we recognize them in ourselves, to challenge our faulty thinking, to implement healthy strategies for interacting with others (and ourselves). This book is fantastic in the whys and the hows. I suspect many of you who read it will say things out loud as you read as I did, such as "Yes!", "So true!", etc. when you see yourself in the descriptions she gives. I was so impressed with this book, immediately after I finished it I ordered "The Language of Letting Go": daily readings to help stay on the right track. I have gone to counseling, read books on cognitive therapy and several other self-help books, but this book is by far the most helpful. I finally GET IT: I didn't know I was codependent. This book helped me diagnose it, then provided prescriptions to facilitate recovery. Ready to change? Get this book.
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Summary: Gratitude
Review: I think that the book is awesome and I thank God for recovering Co-dependants such as Melody. She has given me more strength to know that this disease can be cured. I know that it's a lot of work. In 1992 I spent 28 days in a florida rehab. I did not know what a Co-dependant was. I found out that it was me. This revelation did change my life once I accepted it. I began to really get excited about recovery. Now I just want to tell everyone about it. Well, the ones who choose to listen. I am not trying to save the world now, but in a healthy way I am there for those who want recovery. I recently bought some recovery bibles that I plan to send to the prison. I plan to send some CODA books to. Thanks again Melody. Love Ramona
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Summary: For everyone ready for real improvement
Review: I was going through one relationship after another and blaming the other person every time it ended. After reading this book, I realized that I play just an important part in the relationship as the other person and I need to take responsibility for that part. Not only that, this book made me realize that I can only take control of that part (myself). Since then, I am proud to say that I feel happier and more mature as a person and am currently in a wonderful relationship. Don't get me wrong, this book is not a quick fix. We don't change overnight, but it puts our selves and our relationships in perspective and helps us get on the right track to recover. I am now using another fascinating book called "Rhythm, Relationships, and Transcendence" by Toru Sato that is helping me develop further. It is also a wonderfully helpful book! I'd recommend both books to anyone ready to face themselves and begin the adventure by stepping outside of their cocoon.
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Summary: This is a great book!!!
Review: I am about 1/2 way through the book and it is one of the best books I have bought!!! I bought it awhile ago, but never read it. I finally needed to read it, because I am tired of constant worrying, and criticism, constant blaming from others. Need to break the cycle and this book seems like a good start! Great book!
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Summary: Changed my life
Review: This book changed my life. I was in a relationship that was very unhealthy and was frantically looking for help. I looked all over the place and this book was the first book that really came to the rescue. It makes you look inside of yourself and this can be very painful at first because we all contribute to the quality of our relationships whether they are healthy or unhealthy. But it also helped me out of this bad relationship pattern and I am very grateful for that. I recently came across another book that is very enlightening. It takes this idea on relationships and relates it to transpersonal psychology. It is called "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" and is written by Toru Sato. I would highly recommend it if you are interested in understanding relationships and personal growth.
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Summary: Are you a former child? Yes? Then read this book!
Review: So far as I can tell, very few people could ever read this book without taking something positive away from it. And you don't have to be the product of a broken home, child abuse, neglect, or other serious trauma to see how the machinery of codependency tweaks your life; always for the worse. Having read other peoples' reviews, I'm not sure where some of the negative "cult" comments come from. But I do know that I am halfway through this book and I am very impressed. I'm not from an abusive, alcoholic, or otherwise chemically shattered family. I have good parents and I had a good childhood. Just the same, even good parents and a good childhood are no guarantee against developing unhealthy relationship habits, as well as damaging internal emotional processes. If you're like me, you shy away from "self help" literature because it all seems way too touchy-feely. I don't see myself as a victim, and I refuse to adopt the victim mentality. But nobody gives parents a rule book on setting healthy emotional boundaries with their kids, and kids that grow up in a home without healthy emotional boundaries become adults without healthy emotional boundaries. This can really get you into trouble when you start trying to form a family of your own, and is the reason why I sought out this book with urgency. Does it seem like your hapiness is too connected to how other people live their lives? Do you get really upset and depressed because those whom you love engage in behavior you see as risky or damaging? Feel powerless to stop your loved one from using or abusing mind altering substances? Tired of always feeling like "the bad guy" when you're just trying to get your partner to "be good"? Has your own social circle dwindled or vanished, so that now only your partner and his/her friends are 'your' social group? Would you like to know why it's so hard to get out of bed every morning, and why you spend so much time worrying about that certain person in your life, while worrying too little about yourself? Codependency is not a catch-all problem, nor is it remedied over night. But I'd dare say that at least half or more of American adults--indeed adults across the entire world--struggle with some form of codependent behavior. And if you want a deeper insight into this problem, what it is, what it is not, and how it messes with your life, then read this book, and gain strength from understanding.
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Summary: But, that's not me!
Review: I've read through this book once and now traveling with it again as a second reading -- I didn't think it was me and I couldn't see why my therapist recommended it -- after more than 2 months -- my eyes and heart are now open. Thanks Melody!
Rating:
Summary: The best, without a doubt
Review: I read over 500 books on self-help. This one helped me live a beter quality life. I really know now what the definition of co-dependent is. Love it. Buy it and give it as a present to other people who are involved in an unhealthy relationships. I love it. You will not waste your money
Rating:
Summary: What is Your Role in the Relationship?
Review: Do you think that you are the healthy one and your partner has all the problems? Not so fast! Reading this book is a real eye-opener and may surprise those of you who think you have established yourselves as the least dysfunctional partner. Codependent No More has been a leading self-help book for over a decade. I recommend this book as a therapist all the time. If you are having relationship difficulties, if you are married to an addict, if you are always ending up in failed partnerships, this book is a must-read.
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