What to Expect the First Year, Second Edition

Rating:
Summary: Great Book
Review: I am a first time mother with twin girls. I constantly reference this book. It never leaves the side table by my chair. I am a fairly educated person, but no amount of reading can prepare you for motherhood. Out of all of the books I read this one was the easiest to read and straight to the point. With twins I don't have much time and I need fast straight answers and not books that ho hum around.

Rating:
Summary: Very Good, But Buyer Should Still Beware
Review: Set up in a Q & A format, the What to Expect parenting books are full of interesting questions, practical information and worthy advice. No first-time parent can afford to be without one.

Which is not to say these tomes are gospel. No, rather than divine inspiration, the ultimate wellspring of facts, ideas and opinions is purely human. And while the humans involved (Dr. Murkoff, et al) are qualified professionals and certainly very well-intentioned, they do not come to the readership without their prejudices and cultural agenda. And while we certainly cannot fault them for this, for we all have professional and personal biases, it is important to recognize that the biases are there and when these biases are engaged. Not always an easy task

One of these biases is the consistent (and probably unconscious) favoring of consumer culture. For example, the authors take the stance that toddlers and preschoolers should learn as early as possible to go to sleep on their own -- a perfectly valid philosophical stance. They go on to discourage parents from rocking, singing or otherwise cajoling little ones to sleep. So far, so good. If, however, you find yourself parent to a child who simply cannot get the hang of lulling himself to sleep, Murkoff encourages tapes, light displays and, in extreme cases, a product that attaches to the crib and simulates the sensations of a car ride.

Well, which is it? Should a child have to get herself to sleep or not? And if we allow that some kids develop this capacity later than others, why is it okay to use plastic gadgets from the store but not mom or dad's loving arms? In the long run, isn't the latter healthier? If not, an author should give scientific data supporting her position OR admit that the position is not scientific, but philosophical. Murkoff does neither.

(In at least one case, this pro-marketplace bias even defies reason and works against the health of children. In Toddler Years, Murkoff denounces the apple boycott of the late `80s, early `90s -- an indefensible position. What should the public do? Buy and feed their children apples they know to be tainted???)

And speaking of science, don't look for much in Murkoff's arguments concerning the vaccine controversy. Murkoff understandably takes the orthodox position on vaccines. Her disdain for those who raise concerns is a little harder to understand, but these days there are enough people with enough concerns that the issue can't be readily ignored and so Murkoff feels a need to address them.

However, instead of mustering data to defend the orthodox position, Murkoff stoops to ad hominem attacks against the dissenting minority. Considering last year's revelations that when combined, the mercury level in childhood vaccines did indeed exceed safety standards (safety standards for adults, to boot), it behooves every professional to be professional in her thinking and method when arguing for one side or the other.

(NOTE: parents should check with their pediatricians to see whether thimerisol and other mercury additives are present in the vaccines used in his/her practice, and to what level.)

These are not petty criticisms. They are important tools for understanding Murkoff and the non-scientific aspects of her advice. Readers need to be aware of any expert's bias so as to separate fact from opinion. There is so much in What to Expect that is wonderful and useful, but parents still need to make philosophical decisions based on what's best for their families. Knowing where Murkoff is coming from helps us to sift out those ideas which will not work for everybody and judge them against our own individual needs and beliefs.




Rating:
Summary: 671 pages of rubbish
Review: It gets one star because zero stars are not an option. This book - and indeed, the entire What to Expect series - is patronizing, misleading and oftentimes dead wrong. Why educate when you can frighten? Why present basic facts and allow parents to make their own informed choices when you can lecture?

In particular, beware any advice What to Expect gives with regards to breastfeeding - it is outdated, incorrect and will destroy your nursing relationship.