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Summary: Getting to the heart of communication enhances relationships
Review: This is an excellent book, not only for couples but for developing responsible individual ways of communication with all people. Easily read & understood, Gary writes in a way to develop skills we already have but often do not use.Once I was able to recognize the language that speaks "love to me" it was easier to express my wants & needs to the man in my life. It is a tool to develop self-love & understanding, vital in ourself first before we are able to "teach" what we need to another. Excellent, also for helping to understand conflicts with siblings and children. Each time I've read it, I have discovered a perspective I did not have before. Excellent book.
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Summary: Required Reading for Successful Marraige Relationships
Review: "The Five Love Languages" is a well written, practical and Biblically based book on getting the most out of a marriage relationship. The book is so effective, it is used in counseling and ministerial training (Depending on your training) to name a couple of other uses, and is easy enough for anyone to put into practice assuming the reader is willing to make some changes. Gary Chapman articulates the little challenges in marriages that every couple in some shape or form have run into during the life of an ever maturing marriage relationship. The focus of his teaching is the understanding of your mates "love language" or the manner in which he or she says "I love you" or feels loved in tangable ways. Gary Chapman then addresses how our ability to recognize and respond to our spouse can dictate the success of our marriages. With application and consistent work, you will understand your mate and yourself in the mix of your relationship better than you ever thought. Some books in this genre may make a potential reader afraid, skeptical or intimidated to even consider. For reasons ranging from too abstract that you would need a Phd. to get any value from it, to just too theoretical coming across with all the warmth and sincerity of a text book, not so here! The beauty of this book is it's simplicity, light reading and success stories that inspire hope. Though it's light reading, you shouldn't under estimate the impact this teaching could have in your situation. A good example of this is the books teaching format and practical examples where these priciples have been applied and have worked. A great book with potentially great results.
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Summary: A Helpful Framework for Understanding
Review: This is a good book for anyone who is trying to improve their marriage. I recommend this book and "His Needs, Her Needs," by Harley, as good starting places for marriage enrichment through books. Granted this book provides an over-simplified version of love and relationships, but that doesn't make it bad. In fact, the simplicity of this book is part of what makes it such a great place to start. Understand the basics first and then move to the more complex issues. When you are ready for that I recommend "The Passionate Marriage" by Schnarch.
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Summary: Wonderful Book
Review: This book was part of my and my husband's premarital counseling. It really helped me understand how to show him my love, and it helped me realize how I like to be loved. Our "love tanks" are almost always full now. We also used this with his rebellious 14 year old daughter and gained some insight into her behavior. Great book!
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Summary: Just what a self-help book ought to be.
Review: Chapman's information is clear, simple, and practical. He uses good illustrations, and the idea really makes a difference. I'm the author of the book, Self-Help Stuff That Works, so I guess you could say I'm an expert on self-help, and this is self-help at it's finest! The idea that people differ in what gets through to them, in what really makes them feel loved, is one of those that after you hear it you think, "That is so obvious, I should have thought of it myself," but it had never occurred to me. I was, however, immediately able to put the idea into practice, and it made a huge difference in my marriage. I highly recommend this book. The tape is also good, and a good way to keep the basic ideas fresh in your mind while you work them into your life.
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Summary: Read only if you want a better relationship
Review: My husband and I are active in the Catholic Engaged Encounter in California, married for eight years and still we learned something from this book. We encourage engaged couples to communicate, verbally or in writing, their thoughts, ideas and feelings. But even as we practiced that concept, I felt that at times I just didn't understand my husband and he felt that way with me. Since reading this book, I understand why. My primary love language is actually two: Acts of Service and Quality Time. (According to Dr. Chapman, this makes me 'bi-lingual'!) The small gifts that my husband gave me never meant as much as his fixing the sink or hanging the Christmas lights. After just one week of discovering our 'love languages', our relationship is better. The concept of love being a choice (where other reviewers think Dr. Chapman became preachy) is one that we talk about in our Engaged Encounter weekends. Love is a choice, and his explanation of why is perfect. I highly recommend this book. And for the record, I don't think he got too preachy. But if you are not of any Christian faith, then any Biblical reference will offend.
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Summary: Very helpful book
Review: This book has helped to propell our relationship forward. We understand each other much better now, speaking each other's "love language." I like the simplicity and shortness of the book. The only reason I wouldn't give it 5 stars is because Mr. Chapman gets preachy religious quotes and towards the end he sounds as if he can fix EVERY relationship with his theories, when we know that love can not be categorized black and white as the book tends to preach.
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Summary: More helpful to the very religious
Review: Others will probably find as much or more in Deborah Tannen's You Just Don't Understand or in the relationship and communication sections of Richard O'Connor's Undoing Depression. Both of these have been lifesavers in our couples therapy. Maybe four stars for those who are not put off by so much message.
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Summary: Excellent book for strengthening relationships
Review: I went looking for a book that would help two different people communicate when one was an introvert and the other extroverted, and I didn't want an overly religious-minded book. This is a great book that does all that and more - it explains in simple, easy-to-understand terms how to communicate with someone else and how to show them love in a way that they can understand. I'm not engaged or married yet, but it really helped me and my partner understand each other better and learn what ways of showing love would mean something to the other. This is a really good book to read at any stage of the relationship - pre-engagement like us or even 10 years into marriage.
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Summary: We don't all speak the language of love!
Review: This is a SUPERB book for those wanting to renew their love, find out how to love better, or just read a well-written, lovely book! It's amazing that love has languages too, but they are as different as anything, and Chapman really details them out for ya. You might be getting a marriage-survival guide in this book! It also helps people to understand how other people express love in non-verbal ways and how you might need to express love in non-verbal ways. Lots of great examples, this is a MUST HAVE book for all lovers -- and we are all lovers, aren't we?
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