Rating: Summary: Required Reading for Successful Marraige Relationships Review: "The Five Love Languages" is a well written, practical and Biblically based book on getting the most out of a marriage relationship. The book is so effective, it is used in counseling and ministerial training (Depending on your training) to name a couple of other uses, and is easy enough for anyone to put into practice assuming the reader is willing to make some changes. Gary Chapman articulates the little challenges in marriages that every couple in some shape or form have run into during the life of an ever maturing marriage relationship. The focus of his teaching is the understanding of your mates "love language" or the manner in which he or she says "I love you" or feels loved in tangable ways. Gary Chapman then addresses how our ability to recognize and respond to our spouse can dictate the success of our marriages. With application and consistent work, you will understand your mate and yourself in the mix of your relationship better than you ever thought. Some books in this genre may make a potential reader afraid, skeptical or intimidated to even consider. For reasons ranging from too abstract that you would need a Phd. to get any value from it, to just too theoretical coming across with all the warmth and sincerity of a text book, not so here! The beauty of this book is it's simplicity, light reading and success stories that inspire hope. Though it's light reading, you shouldn't under estimate the impact this teaching could have in your situation. A good example of this is the books teaching format and practical examples where these priciples have been applied and have worked. A great book with potentially great results.
Rating: Summary: Simple and Helpful Review: I lucked up on this book. I didn't read it page by page. I thumbed through the book and got the basis of the book which is simple. I do believe that many times people are thinking they are being loving but not actually giving what their partner needs. I personally believe that every couple needs all of the 5 love languages in their relationship, but some may be more important than others. It was a reminder to me to try to make a choice to give the type of love I know my partner desires. I believe that if your mate is happy and their love tank is full, they will be less likely to stray in the relationship. It is a pretty good book. It is not the bible, where every word can be held to truth, but it is good and practical. I just checked out The Five Languages of Children today. I think we should all take time to read books that will strenghthen our minds to make us better mates and better parents.
Rating: Summary: A must read for anyone in a relation (that means everyone) Review: I consider this book one of the must read books for anyone in a relation (that means everyone). I rank this book up with John Gray's Mars & Venus book. The concept is simple: People express their love differently. If you're not expressing your love for your spouse in the way they like, your efforts will not be as effective as they could be. For example, if I buy my wife gifts all the time but to her love is expressed by spending lots of quality time together, then my gifts aren't going to make her happy. By focussing my efforts on what makes her happy (quality time in my example), my effort will be much more effective. Dr. Chapman states that people usually show love in the way they like to receive it. While that's not necessarily the way your spouse likes to receive it. Kind of like when we buy someone a gift we often buy something we like instead of what they like. It's a very simple concept but learning it completely can lead to very powerful results. I especially like how Dr. Chapman gives specific examples from his counseling experiences. To me, specific examples are what really drives a point home. Dr. Chapman does mention principles and teachings from the bible several times, but honestly I don't think that would turn anyone off if they're not a Christian. Finally as someone else pointed out, it is funny how he mentions his own name every change he gets. Funny yes. Annoying just a little. Effect, definitely. You won't forget his name after reading this book! Overall I highly recommend it, especially if both couples in a relationship can read it together.
Rating: Summary: Good Book Review: This book REALLY gives you the steps to improving your relationship. My husband and I have a great relationship already and there still was much food for thought in there. I also liked it because it have a Christian base to it- and to me, that is important.
Rating: Summary: A Classic for Couples! Review: I've heard many comments about this title, but have never taken the time to read it until now. I HIGHLY recommend it to any married couple as a way to enhance emotional fulfillment in their marriage. Using five different ways of expressing love, or "love languages," Chapman provides key insights as to how to meet the emotional needs of our mate. In the process, we also learn a great deal about ourselves.
These love languages, once identified, also give us insight regarding other relationships in addition to our marriages. The easy-to-read format, plus the assessments at the end of the book, makes this title a treasure for all couples. If you want to enhance your marriage, buy it TODAY!
Rating: Summary: The Love in Your Marriage Can Be a Choice Review: The author says love is a choice. He says that the infatuation that people experience in the beginning of the relationship is not real love. It is something else. Real love takes work while the infatuation period is instinctual and effortless. But isn't it the stuff we dream of and wish would last forever? Can we really accept that we will only get that chance at the beginning of the relationship and that thereafter, in order to remain monogamous, we must accept that it is not for us to feel ever again? It explains a lot. But I accept his theory with the angst of a romantic.
Yet anyone who is married and holds married life as a value that must be maintained must at some point consider the notion that making the marriage work after the honeymoon can be a matter of personal choice. And in so choosing, there are actions that communicate that willingness to different people psychologically. These are the five love languages that the author discusses: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Giving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch. I will not go into any details of what is meant by each of these here. The titles are somewhat self-explanatory, with the exception of the last one, which does not necessarily refer to sex. The author explains each love language along with the concept that most people are chiefly responsive to just one. He also discusses how to determine your own as well as your spouse's, and even provides some optimistic advice on how to practice the love languages with an unreciprocating partner. Despite the author's Christian underpinnings, as a non-Christian, to me this did not detract from the relevance of the author's ideas.
In fact, these "love languages" are not confined only to the marriage relationship, but may also serve to strengthen bonds with children - or perhaps any other person you need to communicate your love and support for. I especially found the chapter on children the most valuable because it not only expands the concept beyond the marriage relationship, but also drives home the point. We might have a choice as to whether we wish to stay married or not - but our children are ours forever.
And this brings me back to the point about marriage. Far from being ready to claim mastery of the ultimate male-female partnership, I have reflected upon it a great deal. In an age where the divorce rate challenges the age-old institution upon which the family is built, one must ask how marriages were ever successful in the past. Some may point out that they really weren't, but that society simply forced two people to be miserable by making it taboo to separate. And this then begs the question, why would the world's varied cultures and divinely inspired religions condone this relationship again and again? In fact, I would venture to point out that for the vast measure of our recorded history marriage has not only been a standard, but has also been traditionally arranged! What ancient wisdom allowed such "life-sentences" to form such a firm foundation for the basic building block of society?
I suspect the answer lies right here in this book. As hard as it may be to admit, the commonplace yearning for finding a new and exciting fling is quite likely an unfortunate addiction to a desire that in its very nature is meant to be only a temporary rush that pulls two people inexplicably together at the heart during their initial engagement. It is later, through maturity and insight into what makes the other person tick that we can choose to make each other perpetually happy and foster the bonds of enduring love. This book provides some valid insight into this process. It is light and easy reading that I think every couple should invest some time into, again and again.
Rating: Summary: Practical advice that you can actually practice Review: You will get a pretty good idea of what the book is about from the book's description/jacket and from the reviews. In short, Person A will feel love more effectively if someone else is "speaking" to Person A in their primary love language. And Person B usually finds it easier to demonstrate love using their primary love language. But if A and B have different primary love languages, the communication can break down.
Chapman does a great job of explaining this in more detail in the book and gives practical ways to use this information. That is what I think is the best part of the book and what makes it so valuable. He helps you to understand his ideas and then gives you ways that you can practice these ideas. And once you take some time to think about the concept, you realize that it isn't hard to do. It makes sense and can become something that is a regular part of your life.
It isn't necessarily easy because some of the things we currently do are almost instinctual but the new ideas really aren't too foreign. So, while it may be hard to actually do something new and different, at least this book makes it fairly easy to get the ideas going in your head. I have found myself reflecting on concepts from this book many, many times since I read it for the first time several years ago. And once it becomes something you can think about regularly, putting it into practice comes easier.
I can't think of too many things better than improving how I show love to other people, whether that is love in a friendship, to family, to my child, or to my wife. It is a different type of love for each and using different love languages helps me communicate that.
Rating: Summary: A bible one must have...an incredible book.. Review: I strongly recommended this book, I had never read such a book, where one could describe throughly the languages of love in such simple words and great examples as Dr. Chapman did...the book is so easy to follow thru, very true examples to our everyday life, I believe this book not only help your relationship but also a valuable tool to pass on the generations..
Thankyou Dr Chapman, you're a wiseman..
Rating: Summary: An incredible book .... highly recommend ... Review: After many years as a marriage counselor, Gary Chapman began noticing patterns in the way couples interact with each other. Although one or both partners might be trying to please their mate and make their marriage better, somehow their efforts were falling short. He noticed that after the first blush of romantic love begins to fade, couples are often unsuccessful in keeping the loving and affectionate feelings alive in their marriage. He concluded that each of us has a "love language", which is based on a need within us which must be filled in order for us to feel loved. This love language is part of us early in life and seems to continue to adulthood. In order for us to effectively love our spouse, we must be tuned in to his/her "love language". The love languages include quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Often people intuitively know which is their love language but for those who don't, Gary Chapman provides a questionnaire which will help each person identify which one is primary for him/her. He has a chapter explaining each love language and how you can speak this language to your spouse. If both partners are committed to making their marriage better, Chapman's case studies show this is an effective way for them to minister to each other and improve their communication and interactions.
Rating: Summary: How to get closer to your loved ones and SUCCEED! Review: I read this book for a class that I'm taking called Human Relations. I found "The Five Love Languages" to be one of the most interesting and easy books to read. The author's premise is simple: there are 5 love languages that people communicate and express their version of Love. These languages are words of affirmation, quality time, physical love, acts of service, and recieving gifts. So Chapman theorizes that each of us has ONE and only one way that we express love and that for me meant physcial touch. After reading the book, I finally understood why some of my relationships did not work out and how and why obsessive emotion (falling in love) doesn't last. I learned that love is a choice based on emotion and reason. I wished that I had this book 10 years ago to save a relationship that didn't work out. Yet, now, I'm the wiser for it and utilize his theory in my other relationships: family and friends. This book has the power to turn the most difficult, trying relationship into bliss while understanding how to speak your mate's love language.
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